The Learned Squib

MEETING GOVERNOR FASHOLA - WITH LETTER OF PROTEST

2012-01-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

On 20th January 2012, NBA Ikeja branch members were received by Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola S.A.N and the Lagos State Attorney-General & Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Ade Ipaye.

The branch chairman, Adebamigbe Omole on behalf of the branch first commiserated with Governor Fashola on the recent loss of his uncle and then stated its concerns: embarrassing developments in Lagos State - specifically the presence of soldiers on its streets which was a breach of the fundamental rights of the people and which was uncalled for, there being no state of emergency to warrant their (soldiers) presence and so something had to be done.
Branch Chairman Omole, a senior branch member - Mr. Femi Falana and the branch’s General Secretary, Adesina Ogunlana then presented the Letter of Protest to Governor Fashola. Thanking the Bar for coming, the Governor stated that he had written to the President on the matter. He said politicians must learn to tolerate criticism of their policies and that the story about the soldiers being members of Operation MESA (a team created and funded by the Lagos State Government) was untrue. “Operation MESA does not occupy streets and they go about their duties in their branded vehicles, “ he stated. Governor Fashola added that Lagos state was doing something about the situation and people should remain calm and peaceful that the people of Lagos had fought and won many battles and this would be no different.

NBA IKEJA FUEL PRICE HIKE PROTEST

2012-01-09T14:14:00.000-08:00

THE PROTEST CONTINUES! LAWYERS PLEASE ASSEMBLE AT THE IKEJA HIGH COURT ON TUESDAY 10TH JANUARY 2012 BY 7A.M.

"Squib and Her "Customers"' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-11-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.squibcoverstory.blogspot.com/2011/11/federal-high-court-ikeja-rotten.html

Since inception in March 2001 the Squib has known five Chief Judges of the Lagos State High Court. Our very first “customer” was Christopher Segun J. the Squib was in its earliest infancy then, merely a four-page sheet, selling for, was not just N20? It would’t be a surprise if when Segun left office in May 2001, he never heard of or cared much about the Squib.

Our second “customer” Ibitola Sotiminu J. (2001 to 2004) turned out to be a god-sent promoter for the Squib. This honourable Chief came to power May 2001 and by September of that same year had become very uncomfortable with us. Our searching, investigative range and the scorching reportorial style, not to talk of our irreverent and defiant posture greatly irked this Chief Judge who vowed that the Squib must be squashed at all cost.

This resolve manifested in the ban of the sale of the Squib in the premises of Lagos State Courts. ( Pls click link below to read)

http://adesinaogunlana.blogspot.com/2007/12/lawyer-takes-on-lagos-judiciary.html

The numerous police arrests and detentions of the Squib vendors and finally the laying of a complaint against the First Gecko, Editor of the magazine for “professional misconduct as a lawyer” before the Nigerian Bar Association, which by special arrangement found merit in the spurious allegations and referred the First Gecko for trial before the Disciplinary Committee of the Body of Benchers. The said trial lasted from 2003 to 2009 before it fizzled out, even though it never actually got started despite several appearances of the First Gecko and his mighty defence shield, the venerable Daddy 3. [more on daddy 3 in brackets below]

(http://learnedsquib.blogspot.com/2008/01/memoirs-of-daddy-3-by-adesina-ogunlana_15.html)

Our third “customer” was Fatai Adeyinka J. he came to power as honourable Chief Judge in April 2004 and left in August of the same year. He inherited a full blown war of the Lagos State Judiciary with the Squib but the man simply lacked the will to join the fray.

The third customer just kept his peace and buried his head while the Squib was peppering him over all manner of revelations of corrupt dealings of his administration.

Our fourth “customer” and so far the longest reigning, was Augustine Adetula Alabi a.k.a Ade Alabi (2004 – 2009). At first Alabi wanted peace with the Squib but on the condition that the Squib should compromise her editorial thrust and range. It was a desire that could not meet with any satisfaction or success.

Deceptively amiable, even affable, the 4th customer was not comfortable with the Squib’s unrepentant, trenchant penchant for calling a spade just that. And after two years of stomaching the Squib’s ‘wahala,’ the now best forgotten Chief Judge rose up to the challenge of continuing the war that Sotuminu J. started against us. However, try as much as he did, in collaboration with Dele-Oye of the Oceanicbankceciliaibru fame, the First Gecko’s prosecutor before the Disciplinary Committee, Alabi who is reportedly now a big-time hotelier in is Ido-Ani province of Ondo State, failed woefully to overpower the Squib. He left the throne with the distasteful reputation of a smelly banger among many Lagos Judiciary workers!

Our fifth “customer” is Inumidun Akande J. this is one Chief Judge who has turned a huge surprise to many people. As a judge, Akande was ordinary. But as Chief Judge, she has turned something else. Positively something else. She has become extra-ordinary. But that’s a story for another day, for fuller telling.

In our interactions with her administration, we found out that, she is accessible and genuinely respects what we stand for – responsible conduct in the Bar and on the Bench. I suspect that her identification with the Squib is because she is a kindred spirit – a boat rocker, if not necessarily a radical albeit mellowed by age and structured by a civil service career life.

This fifth customer is far, by far different from her four predecessors. So if we don’t fight her, it is because she has given us no platform to direct fire at her position.

Respect begets respect. There has been no time the Squib complains to the 5th customer that she ignores it. Now that’s very important and smart, not seeing the Squib as foe but treating her as a partner in progress, even though the Squib’s agitational journalism gives her the occasional shakes too.

I believe that by the time this edition hits the stands, the Lagos State Judiciary’s cheque or draft for one Mr. Omoniyi Falaiye would have reached him or his counsel.

Oh, I have lost you? Who is Omoniyi Falaiye and what’s the relevance of bring him into the picture?

One day the First Gecko will speak about him and why the 5th customer, if her ladyship does not change, will not join the leagues of leagues of former Chief Judges who cannot stroll in, into their former ‘empires’ at will, after retirement.

Eni se rere

Ko ma se lo

Eni se ka

Ko ma se bo

Ati re, ati ika

Ikan ki gbe!

http://www.adesinaogunlana.blogspot.com/2007/12/playing-abacha-tyrant.html

'A Lesson From Agbako' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-11-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we learnt from the newspapers of an interesting but tragic drama at the election petition case of the Congress for Progressive Change (CPC) against the President Goodluck “I am not a lion” Jonathan.

According to the papers the counsel to the CPC led two of his witnesses in evidence and had them cross-examined. The first witness was the chairman of the CPC. The second was the General Secretary.

As we all know, since 2007, the front loading of evidence method has been applied to election petition cases. With this method, a witness does not give oral evidence in court – his story would have been written down in a sworn deposition and submitted to the court and the adverse party.

The witness only need adopt the sworn deposition at trial as his document and presto, his examination-in-chief finishes. What follows is the cross-examination.

According to the papers, the statement adopted by the Chairman as his was actually the Secretary’s while the statement adopted by the Secretary as his was actually authored by the chairman.

These statements had been tendered and cross-examination had started in earnest when the CPC counsel realized the serious mix-up.

At this stage, counsel to the CPC applied for a withdrawal of the two documents tendered mistakenly through wrong persons.

Up sprang Chief Wole Olanipekun S.A.N the counsel to President Jonathan in opposition to the CPC application. The tribunal ruled in favour of Olanipekun.

I wondered at a lot of things in the above narrated case. One, why and how did the counsel to the CPC make the mistake of presenting wrong documents to wrong witnesses?

Two, why did the Chairman and the Secretary of the CPC “blindly” adopt statements not of their making?

Three,why did Chief Olanipekun oppose the application of the CPC to mend the regrettable error that had occurred? Could it be because the learned silk is merely a S.A.N (Senior Advocate of Nigeria awardee) and not a B.P.A (Best Practices Advocate awardee).

Four, why did the court reject the application of the C.P.C? Is that stance promotional of real justice in the case, or is it that the laws of evidence in Nigeria and the rules are rigid and inexorably so, like the laws of the Medes and Persia?

Five, would it not have been much more honourable and in accordance with the ethics of our much touted “noble profession” for President Jonathan’s lawyers not to oppose the C.P.C’s lawyer’s application since the factor of pure human error and inadvertence was at work?

Thinking about this case, reminded me of an incident in the famous Yoruba Classic, Ogboju Ode Ninu Igbo Irumale by D.O. Fagunwa. In that story, Akara-Ogun the hero/protagonist,a doughty hunter was in a sure do or die wrestling contest with a fierce daemon ; Agbako (Calamity).

In the heat of the violent confrontation and much to his dismay, Akara-Ogun had his fighting hand or the very cutlass cut into two. Surely that was the end?

No! for Agbako merely took up the severed part, spat on it and joined it to the remainder and immediately both parts became whole again! ‘Now let’s continue the fight,’ said Agbako.

If, and I say so again, if a daemon could be so chivalrous in dire battle, why was such a height unattainable by Chief Wole Olanipekun S.A.N and his other colleagues, all believed in and paraded about in many quarters as about the best crop of Nigerian lawyers of this era, in the matter in question?

'When Guns Boom' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-09-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

…UPDATE ON

MOOD JUST BEFORE RECENT NBA CONFERENCE IN PORT-HARCOURT

I am not too sure now, who first observed that “when guns boom, laws are silent.” However I doubt whether any reasonable person will fault the merit in that truly chilly statement. When guns boom.

A gun is a terror. An instrument of execution, and death. It is a symbol of not just power but of terror. An agent of death. A terminator. So you don’t joke with a gun, except maybe it is a “toy gun.”

Now when such a “statute” of coercion booms (not merely talks), it is power, raw naked power that is on the podium and who dares not listen? In fact the wiser, the more learned you are, the quieter you become. When guns boom.

When guns boom, that is might ‘manifesting.’ Overwhelming might, before whom or what nothing can stand, including law. Interestingly, both Might and Law share one characteristic – they are regulators.

They regulate differently though the Law expects to be obeyed. It doesn’t shout, it only exists. Its majesty is supposed to be self evident. Might is no way like that; it trumpets, sorry, it screams, it roars. It compels obedience on its own nasty terms of pain, agony and brutality, and is often swift. When guns boom.

Law involves the niceties of procedure to ensure the decency of legitimacy and satisfy the etiquettes of (legal) Justice. Of course with the Law on the throne, Right, as understood and accepted by Reason is Might.

The booming of guns finds the above very distasteful for it achieves its purpose in the fury of violence. A very rough situation it is, I tell you. When guns boom.

In such a situation, legality flows through the barrel of the gun. Law and her minions, automatically take a dive or as we say here in these shores, “run for cover.”

The fear or do I say respect or even reverence for “Rampaging Might,” I can authoritatively declare to you as the “First Gecko,” is the reason why some lawyers are not going for the Port-Harcourt Conference.

Such Lawyers strongly believe that Port-Harcourt has at least two Governors – Rotimi Amaechi and wait for this – KIDNAPPERS! They contend that Port-Harcourt is a place where guns are booming and as such, is a place where “Might is very much Right.”

A concerned colleague told me that since Kidnappers in Port-Harcourt could go after ‘allowee’ dependent Youth Corps members, it is too sure that they will be interested in snatching away Lawyers.

Now you wonder, if Nigerian lawyers are scared of attending their conference in Port-Harcourt and even more scared of visits to the Upper Reaches of the River Niger, then what can one expect of foreign investors, industrialists and tourists?

My take is that, the legal profession should be very concerned about the state of security in Nigeria, so that Law will not be silent.

Of course when the Law is silent in the face of booming guns, Lawyers too keep mum. And you know what that means. Lawyers go hungry, lose value…when guns boom.

WHY 'PARAPO' LAWYERS ASSOCIATIONS? By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-09-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

The freedom of association is guaranteed and enshrined in the Constitution of Nigeria. So everybody is free to belong voluntarily to bodies of like-minded individuals.

Of course, humans are not lone rangers like snakes. Serpents enjoy the solitary existence, but not the Homo sapiens. The lone ranger is often viewed with suspicion and generally regarded as a bad or wicked type for the shared life, is the normal life in the society of men.

There are some legal restrictions however to the right of association. Generally the law frowns on people associating together for criminal or clandestine purposes.

But is it all that is lawful that is expedient? It was Paul the Great Apostle of the Christian faith that answered that question in the negative.

I am not always in tandem with the Pauline perspectives but on this score, I agree. Look at an association on Nigerian Lawyers, based strictly and only on ethnic (read tribal) basis. Only last week, I came across a group of lawyers. They were having a meeting and I simply found out that I couldn’t participate in their deliberations.

Were they massed together to discuss issues of law, or of the profession or of the Bar? Were they holding the meeting to discuss burning national issues?

I doubt very much. For if the answer was “Yes,” I surely would have been in a position to belong.

The fact however is that I simply could not or ever become a member. Yet I am a Nigerian citizen like them. Yet I am as educated as they are and share at least one profession (law) with them. Yet I know a number of them very well, in fact almost too well. In fact, they all shook hands with me while we exchanged pleasantries.

All these shared attributes however counted for nothing, because, they did not share ETHNICITY with me. They were Igbos while I am and still remain Yoruba.

Now interestingly it is not enough to be an Igbo person for you to qualify as a member of that particular group. If you an an Igbo but from Anambra, Imo, Abia, Enugu, will still fail to scale the membership hurdle.

Do you get my point at all? Our case in Nigeria, especially with the so called elites, the crème de la crème of society who pride themselves on self attributed ‘sophistication,’ education “enlightenment,” is sadly the case of taking an Indian from the bush and not taking the bush from the Indian.

My respective view is that if this our allegedly dear country will ever attain even half of its huge potentials then freedom from the shackles of ethnic or tribal aggregations, is one of the major battles that must be won.

The more we persist in thinking ‘tribe’ the less we must think of the Nation and transforming from being merely an aggregation of ethnicities.

Thinking ethnic, going ethnic and acting ethnic is cheap and a purported short cut for getting a good deal from the nation.

Artisans, farmers, drivers, rural folk and the uneducated mass may think ‘tribe’ but certainly not lawyers?

Pray, what is the meaning of “Kaduna State Lawyers,” “Oyo State Lawyers,” “Federal Capital Territory Lawyers,” “Ebonyi State Lawyers?” What do such bodies hope to achieve? Did any Nigerian Lawyer graduate from a state Law School?

Lawyers are the salt of the earth and must be the most progressive elements in their communities. But if we will organize based on tribal affiliations, it is simply too bad.

Is it not better to organize on moral, ethical or professional basis? We are in the new millennium, why still think with the mentality of pre-republican Nigeria?

A lawyer must be able to interact with his other colleagues and not be pushed away because he does not speak one tongue or the other.

Such realities are a shame.

‘Parapo’ lawyers’ associations, disband!

'Unbecoming' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-06-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

I was at an Ikeja High Court, last week Thursday. Precisely Honourable Justice Kayode Ogunmekan’s court and I was disturbed the way the proceedings in a particular matter went.

It was a criminal matter and the prosecutor or the stand-in-prosecutor was a young state counsel. Given the very weak and untenable answers the barrister gave to the many sharp questions of the judge (obviously irritated by the apparent sloppiness of the prosecutor), it is correct to say, that the prosecutor was just “fumbling and wombling” through his work.

Well, many defence counsel have come to know that the trade mark of the prosecutors from the office of Director of Public Prosecution, Lagos State is to ensure that Justice proceeds at snail speed.

They almost always have problems producing their witness as at when due or at all. Yet they vigorously and automatically oppose the grant of bail or any thing that can ensure freedom for accused persons. I may be wrong but I think that the “normal” state counsel prosecutor sees an accused person as a yet to be convicted convict.

Sadly, most judges handling criminal cases indulge these state counsel all manners of latitude. A defence counsel may combine the erudition of a Cicero with the sagacity of a Denning and on top of it join the forcefulness of a Gani Fawehinmi yet what he hears at the end of the day is “Matter is hereby adjourned till xyz 2011 to enable the prosecution call its witness.”

One of the rare exceptions on the Bench to the often bewildering entertainment of poor and lazy prosecution from the D.P.P’s office is Justice Kayode Ogunmekan. She is one judge who does not allow state counsel feel that they can say or do as they like in her court and get away with it.

In fact, I have learnt that many of them in the office of the D.P.P. hate to be sent to the Kayode Ogunmekan’s court for prosecution, claiming that they will suffer persecution there.

However with due respect to the Honourable Judge, I must beg to disagree with the white-wash his lordship gave the affected state counsel on 23rd of June 2011. It was unnecessary and unbecoming.

At least twice, I heard the honourable judge shouting at the barrister to the hearing of all (and there were about fifteen lawyers and twenty five litigants) to “shut up.” At a point the infuriated judge, again raised her voice to reprimand the lawyer “Can’t you use your common sense?” It was as if the lawyer was a naughty kindergarten kid being ticked off by a school mistress.

I am sure all the lawyers there in court were very embarrassed. This is because, a judge we all know should be in control of her temper and by extension her tongue and should not be rude and abusive to counsel, for by so doing, the dignity, nay nobility of the high office of judge is seriously lowered and very open to debasement from the involved counsel who could be irked or provoked to give “tit for tat” to the judge, turning every thing pronto into “bolekaja” or “roforofo fight.”

I am sure even new wigs have heard the story of the abusive judge who got more than he bargained from a counsel, gifted with the ability of a quick and deadly riposte.

The judge had reportedly treated the submission of counsel with scorn by saying “you know all you’ve been saying has been entering through the right ear and going out through the left.” A very sarcastic way, of scouring the lawyer that his submissions were of no persuasive effect on the judge, futile and a waste of time.

No sooner had the judge landed, than the lawyer soared to his own unforgettable acme of insult. You know what he said? This was it: “I am not surprised that my words come through one ear and go out of the other, there is nothing in between to stop them!”

Fortunately in the matter at the Kayode-Ogunmekan’s court, the lawyer was the perfect gentleman. He was humble, he was meek. The angrier the judge got, the gentler he became.

As the rain of umbrage fell heavily on him, he hid himself under the umbrella of politeness and long suffering and in the long run earned the admiration of us his colleagues - so graceful he was under the withering fire of a badly annoyed judge.

Later some of us left the court and discussed the incident. I was aghast to learn that Honourable Justice Bisi Akinlade, ‘Sister Bisi’, to me, had allegedly also fallen into the interesting habit of abusing lawyers, in court.

When I expressed shock and disbelief, one of my discussants swore to Heaven that he heard ‘Sister Bisi’ telling a lawyer appearing before her to “shut up and jump out of my sight.”

I doubted his story and still doubt it. Except he was referring to another Bisi Akinlade J. The only Akinlade J. I know in the Lagos State Judiciary, was formerly of the office of the Public Defender (OPD) as Boss. Then I knew her as one very pleasant, warm, courteous and adorable “Egbon.”

So it can’t be the same ‘Sister Bisi’ who as judge would be so annoyed in court as to throw abuses at counsel the way reported or at all.

Trust me, when I see my sister, I will find out and I am sure my informant would be proved wrong.

'Strange in Lagos' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-06-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

In the University, one of my delicious law courses was Jurisprudence. When we were in the infant class (Part 1) they called it “Philosophy of Law” but in the Exit Class, they named it Jurissssspruderincie!(apology to the late Professor Adaramola, who taught the subject to final year students at the Lagos State University.

It is inevitable to learn in a Jurisprudence class of the various “schools of law.” You will learn of the Natural Law, (Lex Naturalis) Human Law (Lex Humana) Divine Law (Lex Divina), and a score of other theories of law. In that wise you will come across figures like St Augustine, Austin, Kelsen, Roscoe Pond, Karl Marx, Jhering, Oliver Wendell Holmes etc. The earliest theory you probably learnt is Natural Law, which is the so called ‘Law of Nature’ governing the celestial bodies, the seasons, usually rigidly set predictable and endless. According to this school, Man is subject to this law and nature itself has placed it in his mind the knowledge and dictates of what is good and what is bad. The more man is in sync with the Natural Law, the better for him.

The Natural Law theorists do not, it seems to me, fancy Lex Humana (Human Law) that much. To them it is an imperfect law that stumbles and wobbles on inconsistency, limited vision. For the human law to be good then it has to confirm to the Natural Law, which is discoverable in Man by reason. Until last Monday I did not quite appreciate the merit in the Natural Law propositions, even though I did not buy the cynical if not abusive dismiss of same by Jeremy Bentham or was it Austin who said Natural Law was “Nonsense walking on stilts."

Last Monday was June 13th 2011. The day before was the historic June 12 the birthday of the freest and fairest election in Nigeria, the 1993 General Polls, won by the late business mogul, Kashimawo Abiola and which was annulled on June 23rd 1993 by General Maradona Abanikanda (Ibrahim Babaginda) the too- smart for-his-own-good military president of Nigeria then.

Since 1999 in Lagos State, June 12 has became a public holiday, so reasonably Lagosians had expected that the June 12 of this year, which happened to fall on a Sunday (always a public holiday) would also be declared a public holiday, to be marked on the next work day June 13th 2011. Lagosians were encouraged in this “Natural Law” thinking when news had it that states like Ogun, Osun even Oyo State, which for about seven years in the past cared not for June 12 had declared Monday June 13 as a public holiday in honour of June 12 Democracy Day.

Alas, all through June 10, 11 and even June 12 2011, no such announcement came from the Lagos State Government. June 13 2011 soon showed its face but the good news did not come. In the event Lagosians, especially government workers dutifully but resentfully trooped to their various ministries and offices. Suddenly at about 10.30am, the declaration came -June 13 was now a public holiday in Lagos State. It was as if Lagos State Government just woke up from a very long sleep. A rather strange thing, considering that at the head of that government is an acclaimed ‘action governor?'

In the High Court, the open registry was shut down at about 10.30am but many Judges sat and sat very well and long indeed. So what happens to the Judicial activities of June 13 2011 in Lagos State. I need to ask since you are not taught what to do in such an unusual situation at the Law School. This takes me back to the criticism of the Human Law as suffering from unpredictability and unreliability. For twelve years, Lagos State declared “June 12" a public holiday. In the thirteenth year, for no clear reason, or prior notice, the same State declined to declare the day a public holiday. Then near mid-day it remembered to declare it again! .

This is very much unlike Natural Law (well before these so called end times of global warming, season dislocation, earth quakes etc) where the sun never fails to rise in the East and set in the West. Talking of the predictability, certainty and even perpetuity of Natural Law, I remember my cockerel. It was a gift from Daniel Oyewole Ogunlana “Daddy 1.” (D. O Ogunlana), several weeks ago. My old man meant it for my table but too much exposure to Western Education has restrained me from laying the blade to its neck.

So every morning come rain come shine, even come Abbotabad, this Cockerel, from about 5.35am crows mightily several times, intermittently as if its very life depends on it. The Cockerel never fails to crow unlike Lagos State, which obeys only Law Human and therefore can falter. If my Cockerel does not crow again, you can be sure his silence is not because of any willful or unwitting departure from Natural Law, its silence will be due to Man’s inhumanity to tasty birds.

'The Great Lecture" By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-06-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

29th May, 2011 was a special day in Lagos State and in many parts of the country. That was the day a re-elected Governor Babatunde Fashola S.A.N was sworn into office at the Tafawa Balewa Square, Lagos for his second and final term. The story was the same in many other states of the Federation and even the Federal Capital Territory, where Goodluck Ebele Azikwe Jonathan, the only living husband of a widow, Patience Jonathan (the Dame) also took Oath as President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I dare say of all the swearing in ceremonies of the day, the most unique was that of Lagos.

Why Lagos? Could it be because of the “mammoth crowd” in attendance? A conservative count would put the number of attendees at five thousand. Could it be because of the gaiety and colour?

Oh yes, the occasion was full of colour. All the colours of the rainbow and their near and distant cousins were present in the headgears, suits, ties, wrappers, shoes, walking sticks, garments, etc., of the hundreds of uniformed men, masquerades, politicians, traditional dealers (rulers), civil servants, jobbers, priests, etc., who swarmed and swamped the Tafawa Balewa Square where the ceremony held. Ah, it is not for nothing the saying, “Lagos For Show! ”There were the occasional ‘hurrahs’ when one or two big men made their entrances into the Square. The hustle and bustle was infectious, the air was light and people just yakked away.

But it was not for all these that the Lagos affair was unique. In all other fora of inaugurations of the State Governors and Mr. Married Widower, there was plenty of colour and fun too.

What made the Lagos Case special was that it was the only inauguration that was preceded by an unprecedented event. Am I speaking in a too long drawn out riddle? Please bear with me. Swearing-in any person into a public office has always been a simple straight forward affair. The swearee is prepared afore the swearer.

Then the swearer reads out the legend to the swearee who repeats same, to the effect that he would keep the law, discharge his duties, according to the Constitution, without fear or favour and that he would not disclose official secrets, bla, bla, bla and so help me… (You can please fill in the gap).

Thus the deed is done. And exactly so, was it done all over Nigeria on 29th May 2011, except in Lagos. What then happened in Lagos? Good question. This was what happened; The Chief Judge straight away and duly swore in the Deputy-Governor, Mrs. Orelope Adefulire. So the stage was set for the swearing-in of the Governor.

The Deputy-Governor’s inauguration took maybe six, seven minutes, and that much because of the slow, ponderous old-Mother-in-Israel recitation style of the new Deputy-Governor. The woman’s voice was so heavy and thick that I easily imagined that it emanated from a falling mammoth!

At this juncture, the next step was to have the Governor sworn in. That was when the law of gravity stopped, tradition shorn, precedent dented and the norm went numb. Lo and behold, a new precedent was made ‘in our very before!’

I should waste time no longer and tell you what happened? Well, instead of the honourable Chief Judge of Lagos State proceeding to swear-in the Governor, she did what no “Swearer-in” had ever done before; She gave, delivered, presented and rolled out a lecture to the Governor in particular and the Executive arm of Government in general essentially on the need to be faithful to the well known doctrine of Separation of Power!

Poor Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola! The “Eko O ni Baje” exponent must have been thunder-struck where he was seated or standing. The mass of the people present, who incidentally were parboiled and half boiled illiterates could not and did not appreciate the act of the Honourable Chief Judge.

But the few discerning ones did. It was a coup wrapped in an ambush, totally unexpected, normally unthinkable, audacious, daring and a maneuver conjured creatively out of a constitutional void but executed with military precision.

At first, I was aghast at Justice Inumidun Akande’s conduct. Clearly her speech was a breach of protocol, possibly a rude slap in the face of political etiquette and correctness and a punch on the nose of precedent. Some may even argue that that short lecture of hers flew in the face of constitutionalism.

However on second thoughts, I realized that it must have been patriotic fervor and a burning passion for proper running of government that must have prompted the delivery of the “Great Lecture.”

On a rather personal note, I am immensely gratified that, it is not only minnows, pedigree-less lawyers like my humble self that now ply the route of activism and agitational politics, otherwise known as “aluta” but also those located in the deepest recesses of the conservative centre of the status quo.

No doubt in delivering that lecture Justice Akande breached protocol and there is some merit in the accusation that her style was strident, indiscreet, even confrontational, but how else do you get at least a reform of the system?

The quiet, gentle style hardly achieves the change agenda. The boat rocking approach is more the answer. Well Justice Inumidun Akande in delivering the “Great Lecture” has done the unprecedented and at the same time openly “reported” the governing caucus to the governed mass open.

Well maybe one should not be too bothered about conforming to the norm and precedent. After all it was Lord Denning, who in one of his famous cases declared…”And if there is no precedent (for our course), we shall create one.

"The Killer Tree Case' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-05-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

Oyinbo mu ti

Mo mu ko
Oyinbo gun ka
Mo gope
Oyinbo tawaya
Mo ta okun osongbo

(The white man drank tea
I make do with pap
The white man rides a car
I am also atop the palm tree
The white man lays the telegraphy lines
I lay forest twines.)

I came across this ditty, a long, long time ago, certainly before I finished Primary School in 1970. I did not realize its importance that time- the defiant black nationalism set to music. The simple essence of the song is to show that the Caucasian is no superior to the African, after all the African has achievement equal to the white man.

I recall the ditty simply because of the recent tragedy that befell the nation’s Chief Judicial Officer- the Honourable Justice Alloysuis Katsina-Alu, the Chief Justice of Nigeria.

According to newspaper and television reports, the Chief Justice of Nigeria one night was relaxing under one of the trees in his house at his Tse-Alu country home Mbayem in Ushongo Local Government Area of Benue State. The old man was not alone. He was in the good company of his wife.

Of course I do not know the content of their discussion. But I doubt whether it had anything with law.

Suddenly, suddenly, as Fela, the Fela, would say, a wind storm started gathering. Before long, the rage of the wind became alarming. And in obedience to the Yoruba saying that “Kojumaribi gbogbo ara logun e” (The answer to not witnessing any evil, is fleeing) Mrs Katsina sprang up from her chair and made post- haste towards the entrance of the house, calling her husband to follow suit.

Alas! The sprint placed her right in the way of a sturdy tree that had been violently uprooted from the ground and was rushing down, equally violently in obedience to the commands of the law of gravity. It fell on the lady of the house, killing her immediately.

The Chief Justice was luckier. Reports had it that he was knocked down and aside from his chair by a falling branch of another tree. He was still down on the ground when a heavier and bigger branch descended on his chair smashing it into several pieces.

It was clearly a freak accident, the horrendous display of the terrific might of nature acting out of sync with the usual and common orderliness and harmony of nature.

Of course a true and proper African (and who is not) raised from infancy on an unceasing diet of ill-digested and fantastic ideas and principles of metaphysical appreciation of events, will never agree to the notion that the Katsina-Alus tragedy was “a freak accident.” Simply put the African regards any event that stands apart from the usual as the handiwork of the invisible extra-terrestial forces and elements.

I have had the opportunity of discussing the incident of the Katsina-Alu tragedy with lawyers, magistrates and at least one Judge.

Interestingly, all or virtually all agreed that dark occultic and sinister forces were at play, in the death of Mrs. Mimidoo Katsina-Alu. More interestingly, they traced the malevolent forces to the door step of a particular native of Ilorin, town, Kwara State. Hear samples of their “informed opinions:”

a. “Ayeo! What manner of death is this? How can a tree just fall on somebody right in his own house”?

b. “Imagine, a wind actually uprooting a tree. I am sure it was an “attack” and actually meant for the Chief Justice, but his wife was the one that was fully caught.”

c. “There’s surely more to this incident then meets the eye. Is that the first time, the CJN and his wife would be relaxing under the tree? Why is it that it is only in their own house in the town that a tree will succumb to the wind. Who says there’s no “power” in this wicked world?”

d. “I always knew it that Ilorin people are “powerful.” Tira nbe nilorin. They will tell you that it is prayer they are doing, but we know how these things work.”

e. “If Justice so and so loves himself, he should not go and commiserate with the CJN. Those Benue people are wild. They will attack him.”

The Justice so and so referred to is the one who had a celebrated dispute with the Chief Justice a few months ago and is from Ilorin, a city reputed for potent Islamic metaphysical power.

That is enough evidence from the true and proper African mind to hold him responsible for the terrible assault on the Chief Justice and his wife.

I am very sure that the affected Judge will now be specially regarded and feared by his colleagues in the Judiciary.

“Don’t cross that man’s path o” they are already telling themselves I am sure. “Or do you want trees to fall on you like it happened to oga patapata?"

Surely the “Killer Tree Case” is our own answer to the famous “High Tree Case” decided by the immortal Lord Dennings, Master of the Rolls.

After all, “Oyinbo gun ka

Mo gope.”

'Tiger Monitors' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-05-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

Where were you all those heady Saturday s and Super Tuesday of April 2011? Probably at home, with your loved ones or friends? You were not indoors throughout, though on the election days, 2nd, 9th, 16th and 26th April 2011, I guess? You probably went to the nearest polling booth in your locale to perform your civic responsibility and then returned home.

Well that was the experience of the vast majority of our people on the aforementioned dates. In Lagos, the voting exercise was not a nightmare; there were very few people who had any bitter experience to narrate. To the happy surprise of many, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) which started off in a shaky and disorganized way, leading to the halting and postponement of the election of the 2nd April 2011, midway, got its act right and improved on its performance in the successive elections.

So good was INEC, at least in Lagos State, that even the heavens cooperated. Not for once did the skies turn lachrymose. This was a good thing, as the army of voters, who patiently endured or gracefully coped with the merciless heat of the sun, would have undoubtedly scattered and disappeared in the face of the liquid arrows from above.

Not all of us stayed home though, a few like my humble self and two dozen like minded Tigers and Tigresses (NBA Ikeja members) were out on those election days to serve as monitors.

Competent, dedicated and sincere monitors add invaluable credibility to the electoral process. Their reports and assessment of how elections were conducted present a yardstick to judge whether the process was indeed “free and fair” as conductors of the election and the winners of electoral contests are wont to claim.

We had great fun in serving as monitors. You can trust tigers. Not for us any cold, regimented approach like you will find in “ancient of days” branches. Before setting out from the Bar Centre we fortified our bellies with some yummy yummies and unlike most other groups of monitors, we were roving rangers.

Working a five team formation, we were all over Mainland, Lagos I our various operation vehicles happily donated to the cause by Tigers. Also pressed into service was our ever reliable motorized Charger, certainly the most famous and most travelled Bar bus in Nigeria, always impressive and eye catching with the legend “NBA IKEJA BRANCH” printed on its sides, likewise, front and back, in green colour.

I said our Charger was impressive and eye catching, maybe I should add ‘awe inspiring.’ In places like Ejigbo, Oshodi, Mile 2, the majestic bus and its occupants were hailed, as it rolled slowly on. “The Law!, here come the lawyers!” said the people.

On our way to Ipaja, we stopped to observe the on-going voting exercise when a fellow resting on his parked ‘Okada’ suddenly took flight, after telling the person nearest to him, “Ha, mo ri green, mo ri white, motun ri green. E mi n lo temi. Ta lo mo boya lati Abuja ni won ni ki won ti wa mu wa. (What? I see green, I see white, then green again, they (the occupants of the bus) must be government officials, who knows whether there is an instruction from Abuja that they should arrest us all. I am off!).

In some cases, the Charger and the occupants were considered supporters of Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola and the Action Congress of Nigeria (CAN) party, especially during the gubernatorial election. The reason was not farfetched. The incumbent governor and also the candidate of the CAN in the race is a legal practitioner.

The situation report of the election in almost all the more than four hundred polling units we visited was invariably the same – “peaceful, orderly and balanced.” And in the rare exceptions, the situation never got out of hand. Agents of the various parties, especially those of the CAN, PDP, CPC, Labour, APGA oft times interacted in a friendly manner.

The most sensitive periods were the sorting and counting of votes, yet the charged atmosphere never boiled over, as most people appreciated the need for caution. Losers took their losses gallantly, while winners celebrated their victory without ribbing their opponents too wickedly.

After our labours all through the mornings and afternoons, we repaired to our redoubt – the secretariat a.k.a “Bar Centre,” at the Ikeja High Court from where we had sallied forth in the morning. There, good Nigerian meals; fufu, eba, rice and beans, in the main, were set before us. We never failed to do justice to these truly tasty repasts, amidst gusts of rib-cracking jokes.

One Tiger in the middle of demolishing his plate of fufu over laden with ogbono, vegetable, egusi soups and assorted fish and meat contended that such a meal should be served dinners of the Bar instead of the usual ‘oyibo food’ (rice and ‘burnt’ chicken). He ended his submission with a call for frothy palm wine to grace Law Dinner tables instead of “Oyinbo wines.”

On a personal note, I would never forget the monitoring exercise of the April 2011 General Elections, especially the Presidential Elections of 16th April 2011.

That day was special. Not because that for the first time since 1992 (the Otedola NRC victory over over the SDP), a conservative party not only defeated a progressive incumbent government but completely white washed it electorally.

It was special because that was the day I ate the forbidden meat. At Igando. Other Tigers drank only palm wine in Igando. But I did more than that. I ate the forbidden meat. Oh how delicious, scrumptious really. The forbidden meat?

The more sinful you are, the more riotous your imagination would be raging by now.

I ate the forbidden meat. And washed same down with swigs of permitted wine. So there. Don’t ask me what the F.M was. Blessed are the brave in heart!

'Why Complain' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-05-06T03:25:00.000-07:00

I doubt whether that terror of the deep and the not so deep waters, the croc, can actually groan. But then can the crocodile shed tears? Yet there is a proverb that alludes to the tears of the crocodile.

To shed “crocodile tears” is to show insincere concern or pity for a person or a situation or in other words to exhibit a sympathy that is not real but is visible and apparent. In my journeys in the forest of laws, in the last ten years as the first Gecko, I have come across many interesting characters and situations, some so stunning as to beggar description or to defy reason.

A type of characters that always amuses me, in my journeys are those lawyers who are loud and active in painting the picture of the widespread Corruption in the Judiciary but become passive, even suffer self induced somnambulism, when it comes to stepping forward to unmask the “evil doers”.

I have come across so many of these crocodile groaners that I can write a manual on their behaviour. This is how they manifest.

STAGE I
A C.G (Crocodile Groaner) approaches a bar leader either with a huge frown on his face or looking very worried and agitated indeed. The Bar leader becomes alarmed in return. The C.G barely manages a choked greeting before launching his or her torrents of complaints.

“What’s the profession into! Imagine Registrar Kudilamo asking my clerk to bring #3,000.00 for just a page of a certified ruling!

“I was filing my papers when the Registry Staff said I must “drop” “#500.00:” before they can process my files”

“These magistrates are impossible! Do you know that one they call Funmilego Karikachop who sits at Ogba? He said he will not approve bail for my brother except we give him #50,000.00. After my old uncle begged and begged that was when he “simmered down” and collected #30,000.00.

STAGE 2
After laying his complaints, the C.G appears shocked or even infuriated if the Bar Leader appears to doubt his story or some parts of it. This is the typical reaction.

“Ha, ha how can you ask whether I am sure of what I am saying? Will I come all the way from my chambers to tell a lie? I say this thing happened.

“The Registrar asked my clerk for money and it was only after we gave her the #3,000.00 that we got the order”!

“I say the bailiff followed my client home to get the balance of #6,000.00 and they even entertained him with beer and chicken!”

“Don’t say impossible! It was not only possible, it happened. The judge, I repeat told my client that he didn’t mind her daughter who is the younger sister of the accused and that if that one, (her name is Donde) cooperated, he would not sentence her brother and would not even collect the #500,000.00 he earlier demanded for. And you know our people, the daughter went and they did the show but Justice Ajeranjegungun, refused to sit on the 17th that he had promised to deliver his judgement. When my client went to see him, his head Registrar turned the woman back and said that baba said she should send her message to him through her daughter Donde. Can you imagine that! The woman overheard the registrar saying that their Oga said Donde was too sweet for just one time.”

STAGE 3
Having heard all the facts and fictions of the corrupt behaviour and gross misconduct of the various officials of the Judiciary stated with so much indignation passion and conviction, by the C.G, the Bar Leader is moved to proceed against the bad eggs in the Judiciary. So he tells the C.G to “please write a strongly worded petition on this matter. Remember to state all the salient facts and the material details. Address the letter either to the Chief Judge of Lagos State, or the Chairman of the Public Complaints and Training Committee of the Lagos State Judiciary. Send us two copies of the petition either to the Chairman of our branch or the Secretary”.

STAGE 4:- (THE HOUR OF TRUTH)

When you put bullets in a gun and you pull the trigger, the gun must ejaculate! Isn’t it? When you “anoint” a fire with a gush of the spirit of petroleum, an inflammation should occur? Isn’t it? When you confront a rock with an unboiled egg, the egg must spill its guts Isn’t it?

Ha, ha, ha! It is not always so. This is what the Bar Leader finds out, that in Nigeria, two plus two can be very far from four. At this point the hither to charged “complainant” the “Crocodile Groaner” suddenly, very suddenly, but certainly transforms into something else. The toga of bravado, is shed, the sword of contention dropped, the ardour of war cooled, the rage of the storm stilled, the quest for justice dropped and the call for probity abandoned. In a second. In a twinkle of an eye. Simply unbelievable, incredible, this wondrous transformation. The song you hear now goes like this

(i) ”em, em, you see, you know……em, the thing is that, em, please understand me, one is just bothered about the arrogance of these registrars, if only they can drop that ……. How much is #2,000.00 by the way that one can’t dash somebody?

(ii) “Well I only brought this complaint to your notice for your attention. That is all. After all, you are our leaders and we must let you know what is going on and what we the ordinary practitioners daily face in the judiciary. Really I am not interested in fighting any registrar or bailiff. Is it worth it?

(iii) “Petition ke? I don’t want to be responsible for the destruction of any body’s career. You know all these people too have dependants, children, wives etc I have even promised my God never to damage anybody’s prospect in this life”.

STAGE 5
A much baffled Bar leader, could only gaze at the sorry spectacle of the transformed Crocodile Groaner. The C.G has taken at least thirty minutes of his precious time only now to turn tail when the “Forward March” order is about to be given. The Bar Leader knows more than a dozen names he could throw at the C.G. Names like “Idiot”, “fool”, “nincompoop”, “coward”, “reactionary”, “unprogressive”, but he swallowed them all. He asked only one question.

“If you knew that you wouldn’t want us to proceed against this judge or bailiff, or registrar or clerk or magistrate, WHY DID YOU COME HERE?

Ladies and gentlemen, yes you, your very selves, please answer the question.

HURRAY, THE SQUIB IS TEN! By Adesina ogunlana

2011-03-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this- we, I mean we all, the SQUIB FAMILY, we are ten years old. Ten solid years. A decade. One tenth of a century. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. Incredible, really. Oh migosh…ten whole years!

The Squib is a well known brand magazine in the legal profession; it is so big that it has eclipsed the human identity of its founder, whose names ring a bell in legal circles, only in association with that of his creation, The Squib.

It may appear frivolous, the point just about to be made, that the Squib is probably the only magazine in Africa with multiple pet-names or and nicknames, but on sober reflection, one realizes that the fact is a strong indication of its strength and popularity.

Officially, ‘the Squib’ is the name of the magazine, but admirers also affectionately call it any of these nomenclatures: ‘Scoop,’ ‘Sukubu,’ ‘Skub,’ ‘Squibedo,’ ‘Skaib,’ and even ‘Shaibu!’

However ten years ago on March 22, 2001 when the Squib first hit the stands, the story was different. The Publisher and Editor of the Squib, barely five years old at the bar then, was just any other lawyer, even though his street circulated one-page ‘The Learned Squib Articles’ was beginning to make waves with his fierce, caustic and belligerently agitational but arresting writing style; later carried over to the Squib Magazine, to date.

The Squib was even worse off; it was a completely unknown quantity and quality. Many predicted its failure and death for various “tangible” reasons including the following:

1. The Squib is too confrontational and destabilizing in its editorial approach to last, since the authorities are bound to react negatively to that provocative stance.

2. The Publisher is a poor, young struggling lawyer and as such cannot sustain a capital intensive project like magazine publication.

3. The Publisher is untrained in journalism to do any good job and the Squib is too rough and unattractive at any rate, to be accepted in the market.

4. Generally, newspapers and magazines have high mortality rates in Nigeria – even those backed by loads of cash and hi-tech.

Interestingly, the predictions of doom have fallen flat, while The Squib, a little acorn of yore has grown and is still growing to a mighty oak.

Oh yes, there have been great hurdles on our way and the road has been rough. Financially we have been stretched and are still being stretched. Physically, our lives have been under open threat and on the line at least three times. Our professional career as a legal practitioner was under siege for many years (2001 – 2010) as the Lagos State Judiciary and the NBA maintained action against us before the Disciplinary Committee of the Body of Benchers.

Even now despite the withdrawal of the complaint against us by the Lagos State Judiciary and the Nigerian Bar Association (under former President, Rotimi Akeredolu SAN), the formal and final discontinuance by the Disciplinary Committee is yet to be done.

We had thought to roll out the drums in celebration of our tenth anniversary – deservedly so; for we have mostly walked in the ‘shadows of the valley of death’ these past years and survived and even done more than survived, thrived.

However on second thoughts, we realized that we still have a long way to go in the achievement of our mission:-

The Squib is born to correct and change the many unhealthy traditions and progressive developments in the legal profession and the judiciary. This critical medium shall be sharp, nay trenchant in its criticism but shall never be unfair or malicious. Naturally the Squib shall tread on toes (especially of serpents). ’Tis to be expected. The truth is the hardest hitting pugilist. Pray for the Squib.

Our immediate constituency, the Lagos State Judiciary may no longer be a malodorous cesspit of sickening corruption and inefficiency but it is still far, very far from El-Dorado. You all know what I mean.

The legal profession still also has bad eggs and rotten apples, even in the upper echelons.

Thus there is still a lot of work to do and little or no time or even basis to celebrate.

The only celebration we are allowing ourselves is to thank God for all his mercies, protection, deliverance and provisions for us as an organization, since March 22 2001.

BUT FOR GOD, WE SURELY WOULD HAVE GONE UNDER AND FORGOTTEN.

THANK YOU BABA.

He gave us those wonderful workers, like Bola Oluboyo, Funmilayo Mendes, Shadia Rasaq, Segun Adaraloso and Temitope Israel, whose dedication to duty was well above average and in many cases uncommon.

He gave us those fantastic open supporters like “Daddy 3,” The Progressive Bar Forum, The NBA Ikeja Branch and those dear comrades, the Aluta Army and family of the Lagos State University Students Union (LASUSU) who helped us to stare down the Great Foe in the fierce, very physical confrontation of November 2001.

He gave us those equally fantastic secret supporters who regularly leaked and frustrated deadly plans and strategies of the Great Foes 1 & 2 against us. It is a pity we cannot mention names yet.

He gave us the GECKOES, without whose contributions, the Squib won’t be so much dreaded.

He gave us good and unbelievably supportive home front; our international editor, OMO FRANCA, that quietly strong girl who “sabi grammar even pass im wahala husband” and who allowed us the latitude and the peace of mind to do our dangerous aluta, without complaining too much.

And God is still giving us many more things that we just marvel at. For example he has given us, before our very eyes in our presence, a Pharaoh that knows and sincerely appreciates our Joseph.

I mention a name here Mr. or (is it Mrs.) Justice Inumidun Enitan Akande, incumbent Chief Judge of Lagos State.

In rounding off this piece, it is our prayer that we all will grow from strength to strength. To our dear readers – esteemed Squibbers, please keep praying for us. We need your constant prayers. Our charge to you ten years ago remains unchanged: “Well, until when next the parliament opens, do not take it easy. Give life your best shots. Do not go to your grave with your songs unsung and your heads bowed. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your Squib. You know what?

“The Heavens Will Not Fall!”

'Agbero' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-03-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

If you are an aficionado of “African Magic Yoruba” Channel on the DSTV, then you cannot be a stranger to (at least seeing) fetish practices and display of supernatural powers.

It is common to see on AMY Channel, fantastic occurrences, for example a tortoise can be heard speaking Portuguese, while a doorway can become a dense, impenetrable forest. All too easily a human being can become a squirrel, while a mere look can render an opponent dumb and deaf. Regularly the dead do wake up to debunk the popular saying that “Dead men don’t talk”. In AMY they not only wake up, they exact terrible vengeance on their murderers. There are potions you are made to drink on AMY that loosens the tightest tongue. Thus a hitherto stubborn, evildoer determined to keep sealed lips turns canary.

Whenever I see any fantastic AMY scenes, I re-assure myself that they can only happen in the television world of make belief otherwise it would have been terrible indeed. If for example a malevolent neighbour in a fit of pique could turn one to an “Idumota Statue” or if a mere child can become an ogre chasing one about with a pestle.

However my confidence became terribly shaken a few days ago after learning that it is quite possible and very easy to have AMY scenes in real life.

I was told that right in the premises of a magistrate court, a legal practitioner saw a magistrate whom he had known way back in school (University) as a faculty mate.

Hailing the magistrate, the lawyer stretched out his hand to the judex wearing a wide happy smile and clearly expecting an equally warm response.

Alas, the magistrate did not deem a response necessary or appropriate and calmly walked past the obviously stunned lawyer who suffered the “Agbero” effect for at least two minutes as his outstretched hand hung in the air. He tried his best to bring it down but just could not. In shock, in awe, in wonder.

How could Lagbaja do this to me? Is it because he is now a Magistrate? Ha? ha? Lagbaja of all people, Lagbaja that we used to rub shoulders with in school.

He was still wondering when the high and mighty Magistrate disappeared from sight.

'Open Letter to Honourable Justice Aloysius Katsina-Alu, Chief Justice of Nigeria: Mum is not the word

2011-03-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

My Lord,

I am compelled to forward this letter to your Lordship in view of the very serious allegations made against you by no less a judicial giant than the president of the second highest court in the land, the Court of Appeal, His Lordship, Isa Ayo Salami J.(to be continued).

'Hell Hath No Fury' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-03-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

I have always believed that Williams Shakespeare, of course, you know him, that vaunted Band of Avon, is an over- rated and for that matter over used commodity.

He is so commonly cited or recited that it can be rightly said of him that he was, to all men, all things. In friendship or treachery, in love or hatred, in prosperity or wretchedness’ in turbulence or in calm, in fear or courage, in wisdom or tom foolery, in sincerity or in dissembling, in fecundity or aridity, Shakespeare always finds a place.

Shakespeare, I tell you is like a magic condiment that fits any soup. So is the Bard that

You can quote him not only to the living, but even to the transposed.

However, Bill Pearl (as the Yankees would have known and called William Shakespeare were he of the 21^st century)and his genius as I have always suspected was exaggerated by his legions of admirers

His philosophy, his insights his perceptions, so highly adulated are not always right, or apt.

One example suffices to prove my point. Let’s look at one of his most popular lines-

“hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”

This Shakespeare discloses two furies - one of hell, the other of a woman. According to Bill Peare, the fury of the Woman is greater than that of hell. This may sound impressive, possibly touching, but on what justifiable basis was this statement made?

For one, Peare was his assertion and in no other way privy to the volatility of the angst of the infernal region .So how did he know about the quality of Hell’s fury?

Second, how many women did Peare know, in the real sense of the relevant know? History does not tell us he was a Lothario, or a Casanova or Solomon or even an M.K.O. Abiola.What much can any man who walked the narrow and shallow straits of monogamy know about the fury of women to now pontificate on it?

But an even more annoying assertion in the –

“Hell hath no fury……. saying is the reckoning of a woman’s anger to be the greatest and worst in creation.

How can that be true? What of the anger, fury, vexation of a frustrated Politician? A frustrated Nigerian politician like Iyiola Omisore, a former murderer accused but now a distinguished Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

For quite some time now, the Ile-Ife born politician has been dreaming of becoming the Governor of Osun State. As far back as 1999. The most he had risen was to become a deputy Governor of a tight-fisted, old school Awoist of a Governor, in the person of Chief Bisi “Imposer” Akande.

After the ouster of the School head master –in - politics from the Governor’s seat in Osun State , a strange obstacle, in the person of Olagunsoye Oyinlola, a retired military officer but an acolyte of the bullish leader of the people’s Democratic Party (1999-2007)and the president of Nigeria (1999-2007).

This obstacle proved stronger than Omisore and he had to make do with a seat in the Nigerian Senate.

But he never forgot his dream

The patient dog, as they say, eats the fattest bone. Soon it became clear in the PDP that once Olagunsoye Oyinlola left the Gubernatorial seat in Osun State in 2012, Omisore would come in.

Alas, for the plans of men and mice! Suddenly another last minute obstacle rolled itself onto the path of Mr. Next Governor of Osun State in the person of Mr. Rauf Aregbesola of the Action Congress of Nigeria.

Aregbesola battled Oyinlola for three and a half years in the law courts, in challenge of the supposed Electoral Victory of Oyinlola at the polls in 2007.

Then late 2010, the Electoral petition Appeal Tribunal nullified Onyinlola’s victory and Aregbesola become the Governor and presumably so far the next four years at least. Everybody knows it will not be easy to dissolve a civilian who dislodged a soldier from power. Well where does that leave Mr. Next Governor? It left him exactly in the position of the proverbial, hungry hunter whose quarry, the squirrel had run up the Iroko tree (Okere gun roko oju ode da)

Feeling very frustrated, depressed Omisore, like most sorely disappointed human beings went near manic with rage;His target was not the Squirrel or even his own gun, rather he sent his bullets flying all over the forest blaming the foliage and the woods for his misfortune; it was the very forest that gave cover for the Squirrel to give him the slip!

I pity Senator Omisore. Boy it is not easy to be this near yet so far! How do you expect a man already hailed all over, even in the Senate as “Obalola” – ‘The incoming’ to feel, when his fortunes that looked so promising suddenly and forcefully vaporises.

In the hell of his anger , frustrated Omisore is ready to pull the judiciary down and consequently the nation with his wild and scurrilons attack or the integrity of the court of appeal judges.

Which scorned women has such tsunamic fury? She would rather destroy her wretched lover her rival and he self, all still being in the family.

If not for anything else, by his latest ‘determination craze’ I am of the view that Omisore now Mr. Next Time Better Luck Governor is a very desperate politician. Now politicians can do just about any thing.

These Court of Appeal Judges need to be careful – when you are the friend of a politician, especially of a frustrated politician be careful, not to talk of when he has marked you down for an enemy.

Beware! Hell hath no fury like a frustrated politician.

'Golden Albert' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-03-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

There was this dinner I attended in November 2010, the remembrance of which makes me glad still. It was the dinner hosted by the Office of the Public Defender, Lagos State Ministry of Justice at the Lagos City Hall as part of her celebration of her 10th Anniversary as an institution.

The affair was not merely a dinner, but also an award night and so there were many dignitaries or “big men” as we often call them in these shores, at the end of the rather comfortably average dinner (however there was far lot more to drink, which encouraged the “lady party-packer” syndrome to get activated in some female guests with commodious handbags at the occasion especially when the lights of the hall dimmed) and the award ceremony began.

If I recollect correctly, the OPD awards went to no less than eight individuals including Mr. Bola Tinubu, the Asiwaju of Lagos, the immediate past Governor of the state and establisher of the OPD, Professor Yemi Osinbajo SAN, the immediate past Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice Lagos State, Mr. Fola Arthur-Worrey, the immediate past Solicitor-General of Lagos State, Honourable Justice Bisi Akinlade, the first Director of the OPD, and Honourable Justice Amina Augie JCA.

As each of the awardees were called out to receive their awards, there were polite claps of support, ably supported by the crash of flourish from the police band in attendance.

Then the announcement came that there was an award for the most outstanding OPD staff of the year. The Master of Ceremony then mentioned a name and oh, how do I best put the reaction from the ‘legion’ of OPD staff at the dinner? First, bedlam erupted and collided against ruckus before exploding in ecstacy!

I saw virtually all the legion of the OPD, especially the ladies, jump off their chairs, shriek deliriously and wave their limbs and other apartments of their bodies wildly and in rapturous delight.

At that point in time, the earlier awardees were forgotten in the incredibly loud celebration of this particular awardee. Neither a Governor nor Attorney General, nor Solicitor General nor Judge he was. He was not even a lawyer and certainly the youngest of all the awardees.

From what I gathered from the M.C., the super star merited his award for exemplary and uncommon dedication to work. The deafening approval of the hero’s choice by the OPD staff underscored the appropriateness of the award.

The gentleman in question would not forget that night in a hurry; obviously proud of himself, in his shy, self-effacing manner but bowled over by the thunderous approval of his choice by dozens of those who were his superiors in his work place.

The night would be special for him, because he could never have imagined a situation where he could ever share a glory platform with his former boss, Professor Yemi Osinbajo SAN (he was a clerk in the early 90s in the now defunct legal firm of OSINBAJO, KUKOYI AND ADOKPAYE) who also paved his way for his employment with the OPD when he was the Attorney General, not to talk of outshining him.

While the ladies were swooning over his boy, I stole a look at ‘prof’ (Yemi Osinbajo) and the great man was looking quite pleased with himself in that quiet gentle way of his.

Well, who is the subject matter of this piece? I know him simply as Albert; for a fuller knowledge, you may care to ask any OPD staff, especially them ladies. Just ask about Albert, Golden Albert.

'Israelite Journey' By Adesina Ogunlana

2011-02-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

We are told by the Holy Bible that there was a time that the Israelites, used a whopping and even unbelievable forty years to complete a journey of forty days.

In mathematical terms it would read like this:

40 days = 24 hours x 40 = 720 hours.

40 years = 24 hours x 30 x 12 x 40 = 345,600 hours.

The difference between the two periods of time is, I believe only too clear!

One Monday not too long ago when I left my humble abode in Isolo at 10.30 a.m, I least knew I was embarking on an Israelite’s journey. My destination was the Lagos High Court, Igbosere, Lagos at most 18 kilometres away. My appointment with the priestess of Justice was 11:30 a.m.

No reason to fear. An hour is,ordinarily more than adequate for a car to eat up 18 kilometres of road. However I had not taken even 150 metres from my “doormat” when I hit a frozen traffic. As a smart guy, I quickly wheeled out of the adanidurodonigbese traffic and turned back. Immediately I saw that taking the Aiye Bus stop, Lagos Polytechnic-Daleko Bridge route to come out on the Oshodi Expresss Road was out of the question.

The traffic situation was tighter than a Scrooge’s fist. A brain wave hit me; go quickly to Mile 2, come out on the Oshodi Express and run post haste to the court. I accepted the wave of the brain and felt happy I did, until I reached Okota Road. The traffic on this road was not fast flowing but then it was not under lock and key, so I gamely went on. By the time I reached the back of the Jakande Estate on Mile 2, the time was already 11:30 a.m. I sent a message to the opposing counsel in my matter that I was stuck in traffic but hoped to be in court before 12:30 p.m. Suddenly I looked up towards the Mile 2 Express Way and I gave a definite cry of agony; about one hundred and fifty metres away was a gummed together traffic jam.

On the Express! In real panic, I quickly turned back with the intention of passing through Festac Town to LASU and from there tear down to Ikeja. I was already about half way to Festac when it hit me - Festac to LASU route might be a good thoroughfare, likewise LASU to Isheri round-about; but what about from there to Akowonjo which would lead me to the Agege Motor Way on to Ikeja?

Everybody knows that Isheri road to Akowonjo has become one of the roads to hell in Lagos. I was in a fix and knew it. I couldn’t proceed yet retreat was equally daunting. Should I turn and proceed to Mile 2 where I would connect the Oshodi Express Way or should I go back to Okota Road? I quickly jettisoned the idea of going back to Okota Road. That would be like voluntarily jumping into a pot of boiling oil. So I headed back to the immobility on the Mile 2-Apapa Express Way. When I inched nearer enough, I noticed that the clamped up traffic existed only on the service lane.

After about twenty minutes, I sweated to an exit point, which presented two choices. The first choice was to roil on in the snail-speed traffic, down to under the Mile 2 Bridge and then resurrect on the Oshodi bound stretch of the Express Way. The second choice was to “fly” straight and forward to the Liverpool side of the Mile 2-Apapa Wharf Express Way, go up and round the Liverpool Bridge and emerge on the Express Way to Oshodi.

I quickly did a silent prayer and then settled for the Liverpool route. I doubt whether I had ever made a worse traffic way decision. Alas, Liverpool (the service lane bend that would take me up the bridge) turned out to be a flooded, marshy catacomb, buried in yawning pits vast enough to accommodate hippopotami! The stretch of the crater filled road was less than a hundred metres but I spent (with a lot of prayers and supplication) at least fifty minutes there. That the car and I got out safely should be considered a miracle. At one point, I tested the depth of the pool with my shoes before plunging in, and during the maneuvers, I developed the mindset of a kamikaze fighter pilot. When I finally broke free of all vehicular barriers, it was already 1: p.m. As I sped on to the court, I received a message on the phone: “The court was already hearing the matter.” Gosh. But what to do than to speed on? When I got to the court ‘at last at last,’ it was 1:30 p.m. Predictably the session had ended, the court risen. Wow, what a day. An Israelite journey day!

' A Note for African leaders' by Adesina Ogunlana

2010-12-11T11:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Sirs and Madams,

Of course this letter is meant for you. You, of course, you. You are a leader, alright, yes. It's true you are not the President, or a Minister, or a Governor, or a Commissioner. You are not a Mayor or a Councillor. You are not the head of the Civil or Public Service Ministry or a "parastatal." Maybe you are not a "traditional" ruler or even a village head. But then you hold an office. You have some authority. You have some people you direct, influence or affect. So then you are leader, maybe the leader of a small club or association, or department, or station or a shop. You do legitimate work. You have a title, some souls, maybe one, maybe two, three, four, seven, ten look up to you.
Yes, you may have none of those big paraphernalia of office or enjoy any tasty prerequisite of office, but why, you have some powers, control, influence over some other people, even in your alleged rat hole. You are a leader, my dear. It is important that you the African leader exercise your powers and discharge your duties with the greatest sense of responsibility. See, the African continent and its many disease ravaged, war-torn, poverty stricken, corruption crippled nations are in a big, big mess.
And the rest of the world see and treat us as nothing but fools and dirty swine.
How do I know? I just watched a film entitled HOTEL RWANDA. Maybe you too have watched it. It's about the genocide that bled Rwanda, one of the East African countries in the early 1990s.
At the height of the conflict between the majority but historically disfavoured Hutu and the minority but historically favoured Tutsi, the massacre of the Tutsi in their hundreds was a daily affair. The United Nations sent only a few troops – peacekeepers they called them, maybe about three hundred. The massacre continued but the world just looked on. At a point the French sent some troops and the hundreds of traumatized victims, those still alive rejoiced. They thought a saving interventionist force had come. But it was a hope, sorely misplaced; the French had come for the bail out of foreign nationals – the ‘Oyinbos.’
Why so? The beleaguered head of the United Nation troops gave the reason as far as the Western World was concerned; the millions of affected Rwandans were not worthy of attention, help or rescue.
Why so? The Rwandans were so inferior in the scale of humanity that they, were in the eyes of the Western World, lower than the already despised ‘Niggers.’

Said the UN troop leader to the hero of the film – “You (referring to Rwandans) are not (even) Niggers. You are Africans.” It hurt to hear this. To know that some other human beings so very poorly regard us, another set of homo-sapiens, that our terrible suffering and horrendous loss of lives mean nothing or little to them. Why so? I guess one finds it very tempting to consider the Whites callous and barbaric cousins of the Devil himself. But that’s only one way of looking at it.
Can one heap the blame completely on the Whites for seeing us as sub-humans? Don’t we deserve the opprobrium seeing the way we ruin, instead of run our lives and our economies, and our institutions and our nations and souls and our bodies by our unrelenting and shameless thieving gluttony and shocking selfishness.
Virtually all our leaders, in both small and big positions are liars and self seekers, who take and hold public office with the grim determination to enrich themselves at the expense of those they ought to serve.
This global mismanagement of the resources of the African people by their own leaders, negroes, Africans like themselves is the reason for 99% of the unspeakable woes of the Black man and which woeful, doleful condition has made us repugnant in the eye of the rest of the world.
Who will save the African?
Nobody, except…..
Please fill in the gap.

Squib Health at http://www.squibhealth.blogspot.com

''Yampion People" By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-11-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

pls click red link to read squib readers pavilion http://www.squibreaderspavilion.blogspot.com

You've probably have heard this joke – a south westerner was at the newsstands and requested for “a copy of the “Champion” news paper. Said the amala-abula man to the vendor – “give me sampion”
It was almost instantaneous, the guffaw that came from a bystander who after recovering from a hearty stretch of laughter said “see this man o, na yampion you dey call “sampion"
According to a newspaper report an organization named “ANTI BABANGIDA COALITION" (ABC) declared that it would mount an insurgency should General Ibrahim Babangida become the next president of the country.
I was aghast at this news. The ABC people were said to be a group of “activists” earnestly contending for democracy. If the news item was correct, then the ABC would be a very strange type of apostles of democracy.
The most elementary of lessons in democracy is that it is a “game of numbers” – the Candidate with the greatest number of popular support have the office be he a killer, drunkard, treasury looter, drug dealer, bomb thrower or even bum pumper. The whole idea is to give effect to the ‘Ori-Ojori’ political myth of the EQUALITY of men, which is the kernel of DEMOCRACY and its famous character of “Majority carries the day”
Every political philosophy has decision makers – in theocracy, God, in gerontocracy, the elders, in autocracy, the junta, in aristocracy, the elite, in monarchism, royalty, in plutocracy, money bags, in democracy, the people.
And, that is why Democracy is so simply and beautifully described as “government of the people, by the people and for the people, but in reality it is the government of the people, by the will of the majority of the people, for the people.
It is therefore a compulsion for a democrat that the wishes of the people is considered and treated as sacrosanct.
Of course, the views of the people are not always sound and the choice of the majority is not always good but a democrat abides by it, for the majority, by its sheer superiority of numbers is deemed to appreciate the point in question better than the minority.
So when the ABC folks say that they would ‘take to the bush’ and fight to the end, should Babangida emerge President, they betray either an ignorance of the understanding of the essential Democracy or worse, they expose the fact that they themselves are tyrants and no democrats.
It could have been a different matter had they premised their threatened insurgency on the event of Babangida’s FRAUDULENT emergence as the next president of Nigeria. In the 1998 build-up to the 1999 General Elections, General Theophilus Danjuma scandalised many people when he vowed to go on self-exile should his choice for the nation’s presidency Olusegun “Umoru are you dead?” Obasanjo lose the elections.
Note that Danjuma’s position effectively is that “I will remove myself from the scene if my candidate fails and not that I will forcefully change the scene to suit my will and preference”. Yet many people, including elements of the ABC sharply criticized Danjuma. But the ABC people have done much worse now. Unlike Danjuma, their position is that if Babangida should be the popular choice they will fight that choice. That is not only wrong, it is abominable. ‘Yampion’ is a worse pronunciation of ‘Champion’ than ‘Sampion.’

"Wahala Dey' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-10-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

A signature tune on the tube of one of the better known stress depressors in the land is an excitable ululation of “Wahala dey!”

To this particular comedian “wahala dey” is a far cry from the true character of “wahala” better known in Nigerian English as “big, big trouble.”

In this piece, as you will very soon find out when I say “Wahala dey” I mean exactly nothing less.

Some days ago, (Friday 15 October 2010) I was a guest at a dinner organized by a group of law undergraduates. It was a memorable day alright, but not for all the right reasons.

It was a big privilege, indeed honour to be put on the high table, where also sat one of those at whose feet twenty years ago, I was fed the milk of law as a fresher.

Also on the high table was a “worshipful majesty,” a great friend of the 1st Gecko who continues to tease me as a “small boy” even though discreet scientific investigation has shown that I landed on this terra firma before her.

Of course we the “older-generation" had issues to pick with the “generation of the day” our hosts. We disagreed with their dressing (disco party wears mostly), with their “lingo” (especially the penchant for introducing lawyers as “Barrister This and Barrister That" as well as their reference to themselves as “lawyers-in-equity."

From the lecturer in our midst, we heard depressing information about the state of university education in Nigerian. For example we learnt that class population of students can be as high as 450. Twenty years ago, we were only 46 in number in my set.

We also learnt that the command of the English language of the average law student is so poor it would be easier marking a law examination script written in pidgin Greek than wading through the scripts of the modern law undergraduates written in specially concocted English.

As if that was not enough, we learnt that it was a common thing for “stubborn” lecturers to be threatened to 'pass' even the most “yammy” of his class or face severe, nay, fatal sanctions.

The most chilling of the news from “my oga” was that due to the high rate of failure amongst students, 40% was no longer the pass mark, but 25%!
Even at that about 35% of these students still fail.

In effect what the universities are churning out these days are nothing but “certificated ignoramuses," be they labeled “engineers,” “doctors,” “accountants,” “lawyers” etc.

It has been said that half education is dangerous, so what do we say of quarter education: ‘dangerful?'
Listen to my lecturer:

"I was teaching on the topic of legal capacity and how it relates to infants. You know the stuff about how an infant can only have capacity to contract for necessaries. So I gave an example of infant entering a contract to buy a bicycle, only for one wonderful student to say such an infant is only putting himself in unnecessary danger: “what if the BRT buses should run him over?”

My people-Ah, wahala dey!

'An African Tragedy' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-10-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

Omo ale

Lo n fi ow osi

Ju ‘we ile baba re” (Yoruba proverb)

(Only a bastard points out his father’s house with his left hand)

Sometimes last month, in the fore-teeth of September, I was on official duty as it were, one fine Sunday afternoon, to Ibadan.

The occasion was the thanksgiving service and reception of Mr. Erhabor 2nd Vice President NBA for his electoral success in the last Delegates election of the NBA in July 2010.

Expectedly O.J’s friends, relatives, admirers turned up at the event, likewise his political supporters and strategists. Success is never a lonely brand.

It was a rich quiet victory dance of a thanksgiving service. It was praises galore to God for the “wonderful victory” recorded by O.J at the polls. The man himself received a lot of commendations from all and sundry.

Yet the happy event was marred for me, incidentally from rather unlikely quarters; a royal father from Ilesa, Oyo State- O.J’s practice base.

The royal father, a high chief from Ilesa who was more or less the representative of the paramount ruler of Ijesa land prefaced his speech with these stunning remarks- “When I left home, today the Kabiyesi specifically instructed me that I should not speak the English language here, that I should deliver his message at this gathering in Yoruba language. But when I got here and saw the array of learned men all over here, I was perplexed. I thought within me how could I deliver Kabiyesi’s message in this August gathering in Yoruba. So as things stand, I will speak in English and when I get home, I will tell Kabiyesi that I just could not speak Yoruba in the place you sent me”

I was shocked and saddened at this declaration which was a desecration of culture, a perfect and tragic self abnegation and degradation of the entity called the Africa. The greater tragedy was that the foul talk was greeted with applause, smiles and wide grins. What a horror - like you must feel, seeing a mad man marching up and down a busy street in broad day light, in only his skin, arms akimbo and whistling merrily away! My sadness can only be imagined. By his declaration, the chief (is he really a chief?) thumped his race in the face. How can a true Africa high chief declare openly that he could not obey his monarch and did just that brazenly? What a sorry pass the African ‘monarchy’ (even if only decorative) has come to, that the instructions of a first class king like the Owa of Ilesa could be treated with levity by his own ambassador. The chief’s (is he really a chief?) position is quite clear - Yoruba is not a language fit for the society of civilized folks and enlightened souls, but fit I reasonably presume for the hills of Philistia and Isles of Barbary!

Oh, how are the mighty fallen! Oh what arrant nonsense! Yoruba the home of a thousand and one poetics, the flute of the dirge, the trumpet of the panegyrist, the drum of the Oshugbo, the voice of the Ifa the unerring deity of divination, the conductor of the potent invocation, the very tongue of Oduduwa, understood and respected in the heavenly ………. Now not good for use in the midst of mere mortals who happen to be lawyers?

Indeed, how very low are the mighty fallen! That Ilesa chief is typical of most Africans; deep, fervent and incorrigible believers in the inferiority of the African in the comity of the human race.

Oh, pity for a people who take pride in other people and pour scorn on themselves. Oh, pity for self made, self-defined slaves. Oh, pity for a race that calls others giants and themselves mites. Oh, pity for fools and ignoramuses. As for me I AM BLACK AND PROUD.

'NBA ELECTIONS 2010: LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-10-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

Immediately the 2010 general elections of the Nigerian Bar Association ended and the results announced, late in the evening of 29" July 2010 at the JOGOR CENTRE, Ibadan, Oyo state, the organizers and the winners of the election have not been silent in awarding high pass marks for the conduct of the elections which has been lavishly described as a huge success and prescribed a model for the larger Nigeria polity to copy.

Reading the many fulsome praises of the said elections, the ordinary man on the streets would be forgiven to think it a perfectly executed event devoid of any blemish or shenanigan whatsoever.

However any honest and informed participant or, and observer would admit that the claims of a perfect election are in reality, the inflation of the truth.

In the humble view of this columnist, the more correct assessment would be that the winners actually defeated their opponents at the polls; a more credible election could easily had been conducted.
A dispassionate view of the election would show that the Electoral Committee headed by Mr. Obi Okwusogu S.A.N erred in some vital areas.

Though accreditation of the compiled List of Voters, on delegates voters was smooth and displayed before the election, simple enough but it was observed showing the voting strength of during the accreditation exercise that there were pockets of complaints from individuals, branches and even some candidates over their registration to General Secretary Ibrahim Mark and Obi Okwusogu about the exclusion or inclusion of some names from the list of delegates.
The resolution of these complaints was fluid as a lot then depended on the personality of the complainant and the discretion of Ibrahim Mark and Obi Okwusogu SAN. For example three candidates from Ikeja branch in the elections Adekunnle Ajasa (financial secretary), Chinwe Nwadike (assistant financial secretary) and Dare Akande (2nd vice president) got accredited as voters only after the vigorous intervention of their branch secretary hours after Ajasa had tried and failed.
On the day of the election itself, it is a fact there was no list of Accredited Delegate voters, before, during or after the elections. In the event, nobody knew how many delegates voted until after the votes were cast when voter stubs were counted numbering 1,204, excluding uncounted rejects. Interestingly the total approved votes cast in the presidential election amounted to 1,205 with 718 going to J.B Dauda and 487 for J.K Gadzama. Clearly the proper procedure ought to be existence of a compiled List of Voters, on Display before the election, showing the voting strength of each of the 88 branches as well as the identities and numbers of automatic voters like Senior Advocacies of Nigeria, Benchers, past National Presidents and General Secretaries, accredited for the election.

In consequence, under the arrangement, the best data that could be had was the number of voters, correlating to the number of votes cast but it could not and did not show or prove the lawful eligibility of the voters. So if the voters included mercenaries and other otherwise unqualified entities, there was no way knowing.

During the voting, this reporter noticed that among delegate voters purportedly from Ibadan branch, at least two, wore double tags on their necks, bearing “observer”, and “delegate.” You wondered whether a person could both be observer and delegate at the same time!

Another low point of the elections that was papered over is the fact that the chairman of the Electoral Committee, Obi Okwusogu SAN perpetrated what could be described as “agent harassment and intimidation.” In the short pre-voting meeting of the Electoral Committee with the agents of the various candidates, Obi Okwusogu S.A.N., the chairman of the E.C throughout maintained the perfervid temperament of a beleaguered porcupine! He was to say the least oppressive in his manners, yelling, hectoring and rudely hushing up any agent who dared express any opinion or ask any question. The charged up silk repeatedly tossed the threat of "under the constitution I have the power to conduct this election and I will order any one out who does not comply with our regulations."

Certainly this bullying by an electoral chief, should not be commended to the Nigerian polity by any right thinking adviser! Why Okwusogu SAN normally a calm, amiable and easy going gentleman became so needlessly irascible and even power-drunk was simply bewildering but the conduct put up by him was construed in certain quarters as nothing more than a ploy to cow the agents of the candidates from opposing any untoward actions of the Electoral Committee.

The participation of Mrs. Fatima Kwaku in the Electoral Committee and conduct of the elections was another low point in the elections. It would be recalled that Kwaku had been deeply involved in the bitter and uproarious dispute that arose over the failed attempt by the falsely monolithic Northern Lawyers Forum a.k.a Arewa to present J. B. Daudu S.A.N as the single presidential candidate in the election and keep J. K. Gadzama out of the race. Up to the very day of the election Kwaku was a well known J. B. Daudu supporter, yet she and other so called learned elders and sages saw no sense in the decency that dictated her self-retirement from the electoral
committee!

In the course of the election proper maybe about three hours after the commencement of voting, the pair of Funmi Roberts and Chief Niyi Akintola rushed in one after the other, may be in the interval of thirty minutes to plead with the agents to agree to the opening of the voting hall to the huge crowd of voters outside.
According to the two lawyers, incidentally both who were co-chairmen of the Local Organising Committee of the Ibadan Delegates conference, the gates to the voting
hall should be opened since the "crowd outside were setting uncontrollable and wild and would soon force their way any how."
Chief Niyi Akintola SAN, a loud and virulent Dauduist was especially earnest in this claim. But when pointedly reminded by this reporter that he lacked the locus to press for such a thing, as to regulating access of voters, he not being part of the Electoral
Committee, his response to the QUO VADIS was a lame "we are only trying to find a solution and some people are just shouting."
All this while, the Electoral Committee maintained a sedate, "all-is-well-in-Zion posture" and did nothing!

The pertinent questions begging for answers were and still are:

1. Is throwing the gates open to a frenzied crowd, on an election ground, a reasonable
option?
2. Who was responsible for lack of crowd control?
3. Why was there such a massive crowd build-up considering the fact that NBA elections normally take 10-15 hours to conclude, and there had been no precedent of
crowd disturbance or unruliness since 1998, after the rebirth of the NBA?

In the light of all the above issues and points, I submit that any well meaning Nigerian patriot will find it hard to recommend the just concluded elections and the
accompanying shenanigans to this lamentable country.

An election where tribalism was a major factor, where key conductors were partisan, where there was no (display of) voters register, where crowd-control was poor, where voters accreditation was not transparent and where election conductors threatened,
terrorised and intimidated agents from asking relevant questions.

I close with this observation. In the Ibadan Delegate Conference election only about 1,204 voters voted in one voting centre. Imagine if it was an election of 30 million voters in 500,000 centres. Just imagine.

'Go, Man, Go' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-10-16T03:18:00.000-07:00

Eni egungun
Lese lo n se
Laka n laka
Ta la be lo (Yoruba Proverb)
(The needy perforce goes to
the provider)

For the past three weeks now I have been on the campaign train of my candidate for the office of the 2nd Vice-president of the NBA, Oludare Akande of the Ikeja branch.

Most of this time was spent traversing the whole of the North. We were, so to say, everywhere. We had meetings with the Lokoja, Lafia, Bauchi, Birnin Kebbi, Kafanchan, Kano, Kaduna, Katsina, Jos, Jalingo, Makurdi, Minna, Maiduguri, Gboko, Gusau, Gombe, Sokoto, Suleija, Wukari, Yola, Okene, Pankshin, Damaturu, Idah branches of our great association, the N.B.A.

Our peregrinations could not have covered less than ten thousand kilometers, for truly the North is a vast space.

When we got to Kaduna, we met an elder and a former president of the association Prince Lanke Odogiyon. The Egbon welcomed as cheerfully
to his sizeable office and interacted meaningfully with us. But he expressed a view, which went unchallenged due only out of respect for the author.
According to the Prince-President, it was regrettable and dismaying that contestants for offices into the Executive Committee of the N.B.A had to cover huge distances on campaign trails.

Said Odogiyon '"when a lady, a contestant from one of the Eastern states phoned me that she would be coming to Kaduna to campaign to us, I was shocked. Come to Kaduna for what? I told her not to come.
It is too dangerous, too stressful and too expensive to be travelling up and down the country because of votes. In my time as president we banned this moving up and down but I don't know why Akeredolu is allowing it. May be we are not serious about this thing, because there has been no case of fatal accidents attending our campaigns."

With due respect to the Prince of the Niger, I see no merit at all in his position. When did going on the hustings by candidates seeking elective posts become a crime?

I have always thought that Law and Politics are soul-mates and that lawyers are best suited to understand political philosophy and practice than any other class of people.

One of the key ingredients of Democracy as a political system is election based on the equality of voting franchise of "one man, one vote." Even an ass knows this.
Two, the votes, specifically the majority of votes determine who gets the office.
Three, the votes we talk about never take up residence with the candidate, but with the electorate.

As the matters stand it is clear that the candidate in the democratic set-up must need go the 'house of votes' and interact with the occupants (electorate) in the hope that they will yield the votes with them to him.

The blunt truth is that the candidate who wants to win election in a democracy and sees no good reason to meet the electorate is any one of these four things - unserious, mad, anti-democrat or an election rigger.

Now, friends, citizens, fellow countrymen, where is the electorate of the NBA? They are, I trust you know, in the 88 branches of the NBA, scattered all over the surface of the Nigerian Earth.

It is from these 88 branches that you have the delegates who will vote on election day. It is very simple then. Candidates have no choice than to go to these branches to gain their support.

As to the first charge that campaigning nationwide is too expensive, I say being expensive is normal in democracy. Indigent contestants, who have lean financial muscles, have no business in the fray.
The incidences of winning the electorate to the candidate's side to wit, printing manifestoes, printing and posting hand-bills and posters, provisions of transportation, accommodation, security, feeding and sundry incidentals for the campaign train necessarily costs money. So a candidate who does not have funds and cannot raise funds should limit his political ambition within the boundaries of his sitting room.

The second charge that it is too dangerous for candidates to embark on nation-wide tours and campaigns also cannot stick.

So far in the annals of the history of the N.B.A no candidate or his campaign team mates has ever died or been involved in ghastly accidents. And even if this happens, it is nothing strange or unusual, vehicular accidents are one of the sad realities of life. And to those shouting "what of armed robbers and kidnappers?" my answer is "The Lord is my Shepherd" The threats of such are not enough to defer serious candidates from campaigning. By the way must a person be on a campaign tour before he suffers kidnap or robbery or any other evil?

The charge of stress is to me laughable. A democracy that is not stressful, you can be sure is not a living democracy.

Democracy has been famously defined as "Government of the people by the people and for the people.

If you have a weak or weakened bio system, why participate in politics? You must have strength for endless meetings, consultations, visits ' and receptions. Oh yes, democracy is stressful, but you only feel the stress too badly when you do not have the passion and the strength for the game.

When you are a committed democrat you won't call getting out to meet the
electorate you will eventually serve, if elected, stressful. If merely reaching out to the electorate my dear lazy bone candidate is stressful, what will you call serving them?

For me and my team, our campaign to the North to the West, Mid-West and the East was more fun than pain.

Everyday of the campaign was an education, in geography, history, culture, agro-economy, tourism etc.
There were so many beautiful and memorable encounters in our interactions with colleagues in the various branches.

In Akwanga we paid a courtesy visit to the Judge of the High Court. He turned out to be one of principled judges who gave the historic judgement in the case of Mimiko vs Agagu, ensuring peace and progress instead of chaos and frustration in Ondo state.

In Damaturu, I saw the largest collection of tractors ever, may be numbering more than 400. Yet they were just the remainder of the lot given out to farmers in the state.

In Gusau, I had certainly the best fura de nono of my life. This wonderful
quality was only rivalled by the dambu nono and fura de nono of Gombe town. It was in Gombe that I was introduced to dambu nono.

The Gombe nono is so good that the next NEC meeting should hold there and the next in Gusau. In Birinin Kebbi, we learnt that not all that glitters is
gold. The impressive looking hotel we stayed the night, rejoiced in the name "ZINARI" which means gold in Hausa language.

My resolve that I would name my first daughter ever, Zinari, dissolved in the middle of the night when PHCN struck as usual and wicked mosquitoes took over, feasting greedily on us. All through the ordeal the only person who appeared at peace under the bombardment happened to be the only northerner amongst us, inspiring some of us to think that there was perhaps, tribalism even among mosquitoes!

Between Jalingo and Maiduguri, we saw something that almost disproved the biblical parable of the seed sown in a rocky place. Unlike the Biblical seed which germinated poorly, the ones we saw in Biu and its environs sprang lustily up to the sky even though their roots lay below and amidst crags. We are talking of places where the furrows of the ridges are rows
and rows of stones.

And what stones! So heavy were they given their relative sizes that we suspected they contained iron ore. Impressed, I took two samples home, only for my wife to exclaim upon my arrival "after all these days in the North, it is only stone you bring comot!”

On the way to Gombe, I saw for first time a shepherdess driving a herd of cows numbering about thirty.
Another proof that what a man can do a woman can copy! It was also on this journey that I saw for the first time a herd or is it a pack of donkeys about forty strong. Before then I had thought that donkeys were unsociable loners.

From Awka to Onitsha to Agbor to Ugehlli, our reception involved the presentation, 'wedjing' and breaking of kolanuts. Not to talk of wine gifts. Oh, what wonderful hosts our colleagues were.

Face to face, goes the ancient adage, is better than a thousand letters. I agree. By visiting our colleagues in their various bases, we learnt first hand of their challenges, aspirations and requests. Only a few of our hosts appreciated SMS politicians.
Boy, I can't wait for the 2012 political season come. To democrats willing to pay the price, campaigning all over the country is another name for in-
land vacation!

'OZEKHOME VS ARIBISALA REVISTED' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-07-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

TO READ SQUIB COVER STORY, VISIT http://www.squibcoverstory.blogspot.com/

Some people called it, the “Rumble In The Temple”, some others dubbed it “Loud in Lagos”, while others named it “Katakata In The Bar”.
With utmost respect I refer to the bolekaja or was it roforofo fight, between two law sheikhs, Anthony Ajibola Aribisala a.k.a “Imado” and Mike Ozekhome a.k.a. “Baby SAN” in Honourable Justice Kazeem Alogba’s court at the Lagos High Court a few weeks ago.
In the celebrated mess, certain very printable epithets and phrases, like “Gorilla” “Mad man” “Baby SAN” “Shut up” “Mad-man” “big buffon” and “frustrated idiot” were flung by the fighters with quite an impressive rapidity and touching accuracy at each other.
According to some reports, it was a show of shame. Well that may be true but as far as I am concerned, it was a reality show.
A reality of the perilous and ignoble rot of our existence as a people. Let’s look at some certain similarities between the combatants. At least they share eight.

1. They are both male Nigerians.
2. They are barristers by profession
3. They are ‘senior barristers’ by virtue of their silkhood
4. They are “old men” being well over 50 years of age.
5. They are both (presumably) parents
6. They are employers of labour
7. They are both well off.
8. Both, at least going by their first names, are Christians.

If this classification is right, then the ugly incident before Justice Alogba shows that in our dear country, all supposed indices or indicators of decency are merely ornamental. It is a country where gold, as a matter of routine, rusts for the simple reason that the gold for most times is actually ‘panda’ (glossy dross).
Secondly the incident shows that anybody can get away with the most odious of behavior and the basest of crimes, especially if the malefactor is, as we say, a “big man.”
In fact the reality is that, the bigger fish you are in our fouled up waters, the more irresponsible you are, as nobody seems to care. You simply become too big for reprimand and it is absurd to even think of sanctions and completely unthinkable to apply sanctions.
In saner climes, the honourable presiding judge would not take flight as Alogba J did in the wake of the madness in the inner bar. (Of course there won’t be any such inner bar barbarism in such places).
Rather he would liberally lay the stick on the broadsides of the errant silks, by way of immediate contempt proceedings. At the end of the day, the affected silks would be lucky if they get even cotton to robe with.
All that is unthinkable in our "obodo Nigeria." Both the Bench and the Bar, who have the authority of disciplinary intervention in such ugly fracas befitting motor park touts and street miscreants normally keep an indiscreet and irresponsible silence. The best reaction they care to give are mere preachments.
Of course the story will differ were the “fumblers in the Temple” small fries. The judge will not hesitate to slam them in the gallows and when out, they may find themselves answering to the Disciplinary Committee of the Body of Benchers for “conduct unbecoming.”
As matters stand now, we should all look forward to a return match between the IMADO and BABY SAN. You know, you don’t finish such business at a go. There must be an encore. So please be on the look out. Already the Squib in furtherance of legal education in Nigeria has commissioned home-video producers to put on cine the historic confrontation, indeed conflagration between the gladiator silks, Ozekhome and Aribisala in the court room of his lordship Alogba.
Once produced, the film to be entitled BABYSAN vs IMADO will be required teaching material at the Nigerian Law School in the Legal Practice Ethics course. That way we can all rest assured that the legal profession will continue to produce more Mike Tysons and guttersnipers to the glory of the legal profession in Nigeria. That’s progress, I guess.

BAR ELDERS’ 'DEMONCRAZY' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

READ SQUIB TIGERLAND GISTS BY CLICKING ON LINK BELOW:
http://www.squibtigerlandgists.blogspot.com

One of the most foolish things a young lawyer can do in Nigeria is to give automatic respect to elders, elders of the Bar.
Of course everyone knows the elders of the bar. We see them every day-self important personages, some in their fifties, some in their down-turn sixties and many in their sorrowful seventies boasting of solomonic sagacity and methuselaic longevity.
We know them. They either schooled in “England” or were the earliest sets of students at the Nigerian Law School. Of course progressivism of any socio-political hue and nuances is far from them. Ignorant people call them conservatives. But I do not know what these elders are conserving, I mean what particular good values do they have or believe in for them to conserve?
These elders, at least so called, are only very good at dressing well, driving fine cars and maintaining “posh” chambers and speaking through their noses or coughing delicately to reflect their purported good breeding. These elders, however have nothing concrete in positive forms to contribute to the Bar.
They are worshippers and slaves of money and so are very much at home with corrupt practices in the Bar and are firm believers in promoting the interests of their clients above that of justice.
They are specialists in compromising judges and are ardent practitioners of the saying “The best law any lawyer can know is the judge.”
Always parochial, always selfish, these elders care only for themselves and their own. These are people who spend millions of naira on their children’s education and yell in pain when a loyal and diligent counsel in their chambers ask for more than thirty thousand a month as salary.
They exert their influence very readily and exclusively to make their children and relatives judges even when barely qualified and ill-equipped.
The corruption of their minds and the acute retrogression of their warped mentality also show in the way they opt to understand bar politics.
What manner of lawyers are these whose understanding of the spirit and letters of democracy exclude the necessity of plurality of choices?
But, this, is what the (their) elders of the Nigerian Bar have been preaching for about seven years now. They started their ignoble march by advocating for and misleading the NBA to the mediocre, unprogressive, tribe promoting, nation killing political philosophy of zoning.
According to these dinosaurs, zoning is the correct answer to the challenge of schisms arising out of separatist tendencies. But any progressive, objective bar activist knows that zoning is the pandering to tribal sentiments and interests and a rejection of a conscious and nation welding mechanism that abounds in open field contests.
As the wont of devils, when you give an inch, they take a mile. Little wonder that the (their) elders have graduated since 2007/2008 from zoning to “consensual candidate” politics, which is another name for “presentation of a singular, unopposed candidate for the presidential post in the NBA”.
In short, these elders are no longer satisfied with eliminating two thirds of the electoral space but even in the remaining one-third, they do not want election but selection!
In 2008, these elders (those in the west) had their way and only Rotimi Akeredolu SAN ‘vied’ unopposed for the presidency. His would be opponent, an obviously tame Tiger, Dele Adesina SAN, actually a zoner himself was intimidated from the race.
In 2010, these elders, (those in the north) want to repeat the 2008 murder of democracy in seeking that only Joseph Daodu (SAN) is presented for presidential election.
As far as I am concerned this is a blooming shame. How can lawyers run from electoral contests and candidate competition and claim that they want Democracy for Nigeria?
The greater shame however belongs to the youths, if they allow such a political bastardy and anomaly to happen again.
If elders who grew up in the dark ages and had spent most of their working lives in the environment of several decades of Jackboot autocracy of military rule lack the capacity to understand or appreciate the fullness of democracy, younger elements who have no such misfortune should not be like them.
History will not forgive us otherwise.

'Something Better Than Death' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

As a rule men care about the after-life, since the popular belief is that man never truly dies but merely transits.
It is this belief that is the bedrock of religious faiths, which daily seek to save Man from himself so that he qualifies for an agreeable, indeed pleasurable life in the hereafter and in consequence escape damnation which is said to be eternal and unforgiving.
Since men are pain haters and pleasure lovers, there is none who cares for the hellish side of the after-life. A popular name for a comfortable after-life is “Heaven” while the popular address of a painful after life is, do we need to say it?
While death is sure for everyone, neither heaven nor hell, is a sure consequence. This is what the scriptures, at least the one I am most familiar with, teaches.
Consider the case of Moses, the great liberator. This was a man who was full of mighty spiritual powers and deeds. There was a time he put a restraining order on the sun, the king of the sky in the valley of Aijalon and the fiery monarch complied. We are talking of a man who spoke and heard from God Almighty, not by GSM but korokoro. There was a time he ordered the Sheraton Hotel of Heaven to serve Manna to millions of people at one time. Oh, yes! “Power pass power!”
Yet for all these, the man Moses, landed in hell, well almost. According to the Bible, his entrance to Heaven was far from automatic or easy but via a special dispensation by the Almighty God. As it was recorded, Mr. Devil was poised to serve a due writ of attachment on Moses’ body upon his death since “he died in sin.”
Consider also the case of one of the thieves who shared the platform of crucifixion with the Holy Jesus, Jesus the Christ a.k.a Lamb of God. The thief in question was very much like his mate on the left hand of the Great Teacher – a real son of the devil if ever there was one. Yet this murderer, rapist, pillager etc, whose terrible and evil life was on its last legs, ended up right in the family house of the Redeemer.
Now this is incredible, impossible really and how did it happen? Well go and read your Bible particularly the gospels. Praise the Lord somebody!
Now political election is better than death. In death, you will only know your true worth and estate, when it is too late. Whether you are really in the Book of Life or not, can only be known after you have died. And then what can you do about it?
But in election, before your own very eyes, your acceptance or rejection, by the sovereign lords of the poll, the electorate will be known.
If you think yourself popular and imagine yourself already elected or as good as so, all these are soon put to test and rest, when the votes are counted.
This is the Electoral Throne Judgement which often apes the Last Judgement. For as in heaven, so here on earth; many are called but few are chosen.
If you doubt me, ask the winners and losers of the 2010 general elections of the Tiger Bar.

SQUIB COVER STORY
"6-PONDO:" TEAM OMOLE WINS, OPPONENTS WEEP

Since 2004 when the power caucus of the Progressive Bar Forum (PBF) of the Ikeja branch of the Nigerian Bar Association came fully to its own, it has dominated the politics of the Tiger like a colossus.

In 2004 in its largest and most unified form, it scored a 100% victory at the polls, winning all available positions without partnership or alliance and produced Adekunle Ojo as the chairman of the branch at the expense of Hya Osahon Ihenyen who could only garner 10% of the total votes cast.
In 2006, the PBF, still intact, went to the polls and again captured all seats. The prime victim of their might then was Dele Oloke, who with less than 25% of the valid votes cast, lost woefully to the PBF candidate, Niyi Idowu.
Interestingly the loser was a former member of the PBF but who left the group, feeling frustrated after failing to secure approval in the ‘primaries’ of the group.
In 2008, the power caucus regrettably split into three unequal parts. The smallest part belonged to Niyi Akinmola then 2nd Vice-Chairman of the Ikeja Branch and a senior rank caucus member, who suffused with his own sense of self-importance and popularity, refused all appeasement not to leave the group. He was determined to contest the election for chairman at all cost contrary to the placement tradition of the P.B.F which favoured Dave Ajetomobi then the 1st Vice-Chairman to Niyi Idowu.
The second splinter group belonged to Niyi Idowu and Beckley Abioye. That group wanted Abioye the then General Secretary to run for chairman.
If Niyi Akinmola was unappeasable, the duo of Niyi Idowu and Abioye were simply unapproachable. So great was their animosity for their former group and confidence in their own strength to prevail against the PBF. It was Niyi Idowu’s sneer then that he would only consider reconciliation talks after the election had been determined!
At the end of the day the dreams of both splinter groups came to nought. Niyi Akinmola met his waterloo even before the election as he, just like Dele Oloke was disqualified from the race. As for Abioye his chairmanship ambition went up in smoke on June 30 2008 when Dave Ajetomobi came out tops with 60% of the total votes cast.

In 2010, the build-up to the elections of June 7 was strong and tense. Niyi Akinmola, still rebellious, still unrepentant and even headier, built a crop of members round himself. The group was a mixture of former satellites of his former power caucus - Leye Omitola and Terry Adeniji and and a stranger element Emmanuel Otobo, a completely unsubstantial bar player but then the Akinmola group presented him for the post of General Secretary. The three Akinmola followers were all members of the now defunct Dave Ajetomobi administration where they played opposition politics with differing degrees of intensity and finesse.
For example where Terry Adeniji and Emmanuel Otobo were coarse, confrontational and openly subversive, Omitola used the sly and silent style in aiding the interest of his group. He worked very actively in misusing his office of Financial Secretary to disenfranchise scores of supporters of the Mainstream group whom he wrongly labeled ineligible to vote.
Omitola gunned for the post of Treasurer while Adeniji aspired to become the 1st Vice-Chairman. For the other splinter-group owned and controlled by Niyi idowu and un-ably supported by Beckley Abioye, their curious choice for the chairmanship post was Dele Oloke. Choosing Oloke as their top flag bearer reflected poor thinking and a sense of huge desperation.
To any informed observer of Tiger land politics, Oloke serial polls loser, that he is, could only be the chairmanship choice of any self-defeating group.
To worsen the situation, the Niyi Idowu group fielded another political dwarf for the crucial post of General Secretary in the person of Mrs. Titi Osagie. Osagie had vied for the same post in 2008 and lost by 63 votes to Isa Buhari even with all the powers of incumbency in the favour of her political sponsors Niyi Idowu and Beckley Abioye.
The three other candidates sponsored by the Niyi Idowu group, just like Osagie, were minnows. Biyi Oguntuga presented for 1st Vice-Chairman, blends with anonymity, Abdulhamid Ahmed is equally undistinguished while Maimuna Esegime, for Financial Secretary is a green horn in Tiger land politics.

Interestingly the fact that their candidates were second rate was lost to the directors of “Team Oloke.” Three days to the election, Beckley Abioye, the deputy leader of the group boasted of the invincibility of his group in 2010 and that he himself lost the battle for the top job of chairman in 2008 only because the mainstream used mercenary voters against him.
Then in the morning of June 7, the most amiable of the group, Biyi Oguntuga, in a quiet but confident voice assured this reporter “Squib we will surprise you.”
This prediction proved wrong and empty as the mainstream group walloped their rivals blue and black to claim all grounds.
In the Welfare Secretary position Abdullateef Abdulsalam crushed Team Oloke’s Abdulhameed Ahmed 209 to 180, taking about 66% of the 489 votes cast.
In the Financial Secretary position Maimuna Esegime (Team Oloke) succumbed to Adesina Adegbite (a mainstreamer) 219 to 287 votes, garnering only about 42% of the votes.
The third election result announced was that of Treasurer. This was supposed to be a tough battle between Leye Omitola (Mr. disenfrachiser of the Niyi Akinmola group) Carol Ibeh of the mainstream group. Again, the mainstreamers prevailed as Ibeh gained over Omitola, 288 to 208, scoring 58% of the 489 valid votes cast.
Then came the result for the post of General Secretary. It was a three way struggle amongst Adesina Ogunlana (mainstream) Titi Osagie (Team Oloke) and Emmanuel Otobo (Team Akinmola).
Well, since a rat’s nest conforms to its proportion, Emmanuel Otobo the rat in the group deservedly scored the lowest votes of 87 or 16% of the total votes of 515 cast.
Titi Osagie, the “David” who was expected by her minders to kill a Goliath in the person of Adesina Ogunlana, found out too late the truism in Wasiu Alabi’s (Pasuma wonder) Fuji lyrics which went thus :
“emi yin o gbe,
capacity yin o gbe,
confido yin o gbe,
charisma yin o gbe,
engine aeroplane yen te gbe sinu beetle (VW) yen.”
In the middle of the counting of the votes, the lady saw the bold handwriting on the wall truncating her vaunting ambition and betrayed the woman in her. She was led away into the night, sobbing bitterly, as the scorpion of defeat stung her deeply. What made her case poignant was that her vanquisher, Adesina Ogunlana who won with a total of 266 votes (53%) to her 162 (31%) had weeks earlier sent a message to her camp that she should be withdrawn to a lesser post where she would meet no behemoth and therefore survive. The advice, sent through Dele Oloke was scorned.
For the post of 1st Vice-Chairman. Team Akinmola’s candidate, Terry Adeniji, the exponent and leading apostle of “Tenubole politics” (politics of disinformation and rumour mongering) put up a stiff fight, but at the end fell at the feet of his mainstream opponent, Yinka Farounbi who scored 237 votes (47%) to Adeniji’s 209 (41%). The spectator contestant, Biyi Oguntuga of Team Oloke got only 64 votes (12%).
By the time it came to counting and sorting the votes of the contestants in the chairmanship position (at 9.30pm), it was only Leye Omitola of all the “opposition candidates” that could afford to remain on the election ground. Thus it was his unenviable task to relay the sad news of repeated failures of his friends.
A total of 512 votes were cast in the chairmanship race. As earlier predicted by this magazine (vol 10, No 27), Dele Oloke with his 118 votes (23%) rested at the bottom of the class. Perched a little way above him, was Niyi Akinmola with his 174 votes (35%). Akinmola, when he saw the way the trend was going was heard repeatedly muttering to himself:
“Ha eniyan, aiye le!”
(Alas! How treacherous man is!).
Akinmola’s palpable agony was understandable. He was the longest campaigning candidate, having put no less than three years into it, only to be bested by Adebamigbe Omole whose candidacy was not more than six months old. Akinmola forgot perhaps that Wasiu Alabi has noted:
Ogun odun oni,
ogbon odun oni,
t’aja ti nsare ije,
irin faaji ni fesin.
Gbogbo press up t’alangba n’se
Ko fi ni muscle lara
(all the grounds covered by the dog in twenty,
thirty years of intense racing are nothing
but a stroll for the horse,
the agama lizard’s numerous press ups are in vain
they give him no muscular biceps).
Adebamigbe Omole, calmly took victory by getting 220 votes (42%) of the total valid votes cast.
Of the three candidates who came in unopposed, Gloria Nweze(2nd Vice-Chairman), Seyi Olawumi (Social Secretary) and Samson Omodara (Publicity Secretary) only the last is not a mainstream candidate.
Insiders know that Omodara a member of the Team Oloke was spared the agony of contest and eventual defeat due to a silent deal brokered on his behalf by a friend of his, with the political lords of Tiger land. Omodara’s calm disposition and good comportment helped matters a great deal in this regard.
Insiders also know that the battle for the soul of the Ikeja Bar appeared to take spiritual dimension. About a week to the elections, a pillar of the mainstream group Dave Ajetomobi, the outgoing chairman of the branch got stung in his own bedroom. How the scorpion got there was baffling. The unfortunate scorpion however received the capital punishment for his transgression.
Three days to the election, the trio of Dare Akande, Isa Buhari and Adesina Ogunlana were involved in a ghastly motor accident. On their way to Abuja from Kano, a big cow on the outskirts of Kaduna suddenly ran smack into their vehicle, then moving at about 100km at the time. The cow died on impact and the car was badly damaged but the Tigers disembarked unhurt.
Remarkably on the day of the election, there was no rain at all that could have disrupted voting and the electricity supply endured to the very end.

Reflecting on all these seemingly disjointed incidents, the new chairman of the branch, Adebamigbe Omole told his colleagues “I am not worried by those things. Remember we fasted and prayed over this election. The Lord will continue to protect us, no matter the evil machinations (if any) of anybody.”

'Great Shock' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

I have just finished perusing the list of the short-list of candidates for the position of judges in Lagos and I almost died of shock.
And now that it is saying a lot. For, though I shock other people easily, I shock hard.
So why my shock? Could it because the list is rather serpentine, a whopping 28 names? No that was not. In fact 28 names is, come to think of it, embarrassingly short. A list of say 120 or even 200 names would have been more like it- to take care of all possible interests.
For example there is the Babalaje interest. Same for Iyaloja interest. Then there is the traditional rulers’ interest. Not to forget the Religious dealers (sorry leaders) interest. Then there is the political party (read A.C, bifurcated into Tinubu and Mr. Fash’s sub groups).
At the end of the day, eve if it is only four good ones that are appointed from the list, the authorities can easily look the rejects in the face and say “After all you made the short-list. Better luck next time.”
Was my shock due to seeing Mrs. Harrison’s name on that list again? You know Harrison now? The pious Christian lady lawyer who sold her client’s house without due authority, pocketed the proceeds and had to be dragged before the EFCC?That’s not enough to shock me I assure. Nigeria is a funny country where you gain promotion by doing bad things and receive elevation when you’ve been caught, this, especially when you are a “big boy or a big babe”.
Could my shock possible be because Mr. Christopher Balogun a former frontline player and a good able and very well mannered lawyer is now one of the Fellows of the Lower Rungs?Oh shucks! Not that! Who dices not know that no condition is permanent and that the race especially in Nigeria) is hardly to the brilliant and dedicated or the battle to the useful and worthy.
Let me tell you the reason for my shock. It was seeing the name of magistrates on the blessed lists. Not just one or two magistrates but a massive eight!Before Lagos magistrates learned the art, science and technology of going on strike to ensure the existence of the God-sent Magistrate Court Law 2009 (which will solve all the many problems of the magistrates and cure the poverty of their cadre), I was for magistrates to be elevated to the high court bench, at least the intellectually capable and industrious ones among them.But no longer! During their strike(s) they insisted and sometimes violently and abusively so, that they wanted to make the magistracy their all-in-all career. They boasted of their contentment in their magistracy cadre as long as the Magic Law-Magistrates court Law 2009 is restored.Now that the law has been restored, what is their worships or is it honours doing on the list of would be judges?So magistrates also want to be judges-the creatures they spoke of so disparagingly just a few weeks ago?
Just look at life o!Is this not Mrs. Christiana Titilayo Adesola Ikpat on the list? Adesola Ikpatt, chairman of Magistrates Association of Nigeria, Lagos Branch. Ah, wonders shall never end!Et-tu Adesola Ikpatt! My dear and noble friend (Believe me I really like the lady and she is my friend, but the truth must be told) how come you are on the list? What of Chief Magistrate Olufemi Isaacs, Ayo Odugbesan, Adeyemi Okunuga, Iyabo Okunuga, Surutu (sorry, Sururat Soladoye, Ganiyu Ali Safari, Emmanuel Ogundare, Oyindamola Ogala, Adedayo Akintoye.
I think the least these good and noble magistrates should do is to formally withdraw from the hot race to become judges in Lagos State, especially those of them who just few weeks ago believed the best place to achieve their career dream is in the new, improved magistracy of the famous Magistrates Court Law 2009.

'Judges, Styles and Choices' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

See Gani's Will by clicking, http://www.ganidelaw.blogspot.com

One man’s meat, says an English proverb, is another man’s poison. Now that’s very interesting and can easily be considered a huge exaggeration, if not an impossibility.
One may really wonder how, what is sweet nurture to one person can constitute an abhorrent danger to another human, considering that basically, both are of the same species.However if you were a lawyer who practices advocacy regularly and widely in the Lagos State High Court, you may find it quite easy to accept the truism of the aforementioned proverb of the long nosed Islanders.
Permit me to give a few examples.In Honourable Justice Mufutau Olokooba’s court, a man need not fear that he has his head covered. It does not matter that he has no title or status.But it is not so with Honourable Justice Kazeem Alogba of the same Lagos State High Court. Only traditional title holders can wear caps to his court room. Lesser mortals, maybe people like you and I, risk a charge of contempt, to go to the Alogba court with your cap firmly perched on your head.
Some three years ago, I witnessed the great annoyance of Alogba .J at the sight of a cap wearing man in his court.Now how do you address a high court judge? I have discovered that not all female high court judges like to be called milords.
An even more interesting discovery is that not all female high court judges approve of salutations referring to them as miladies.How I knew? When I first appeared before Mojisola Dada .J then of Ikeja High Court, I in all the innocency of my heart and perhaps under the influence of the spirit of the famous (1985) Beijing Conference addressed the “owner of the court” as “Milady.” Dada .J’s response was quick, curt and cold: “Milord” came the singular rebuke which even though quietly delivered, thundered its strong disapproval. About a year or so later, and infact only two weeks ago, I came to worship in a temple of justice at the Ikeja High Court, where the officiating minister was Honourable Justice Funmilayo Atilade.Feeling very comfortable indeed, I addressed the honourable judge as milord. With “milord” I was sure I could not go wrong. After all, was this not the teachilng and training we received at the smithy of our legal education – the unforgettable Nigerian Law School?Surprise, surprise however, for there came the correction from the bench. It was also curt like Dada .J’s, but cool and caressing: “Milady,” indicating that the judge wanted to be known, addressed and referred to in the feminity of the status of her judicial suzerainty.Unfortunately I could not quickly andfully take to correction. So one minute you heard me milording milady and in the very next, miladying milord!It must have been very exasperating for the poor judge suffering minute by minute sex-change from the mouth of an ass of a lawyer who kept going and breezily so, talala tololoing and then tololo talalaing!When my cup was full, the long suffering judge, paused ever so briefly in her work to address me, she mellifluously uttered this legend, “You can call me anything, in fact you can even call me Funmilayo.” The whole court burst into laughter. It was understandable. Imagine a lawyer addressing a sitting judge by his or her first name. Just imagine! Great advocacy?
To escape future embarrassment, I have decided to keep a notebook where the peculiarities, sorry uniqueness of our various judges would be recorded and carry same with me all the time. I will be studying this special notebook diligently.Of course if I am to appear before a judge who requires one to enter his or her court on one’s head, one would know ahead and conform. And if it is before another judge where you can only enter back front like a cultist, one proceeds accordingly.
After all, when you are in Rome, you roam like Romans!

'Bad Seniors' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

I will be very surprised to meet a Nigerian who does not have a clear notion of juniority and seniority. After all one had hardly graduated from toddlership to boyhood when snorts and retorts of “who is your mate?” reached one’s ears.
So it does not take long to know there are only three classes of people in the world. Those who are greater (seniors) to one, those lower (juniors) and those equal (peers).
One very common determiner of seniority is time. The earlier in time, say to be born, to bag a degree or title or reach a position is often the senior. As the Yoruba say “Eni a ba laba ni baba” (the first settler is the overlord).
In the legal profession, seniority and juniority are not only legitimate distinctions of class, but also an honourable one for that matter. Normally no one, except mischievous yokels, flaunt their juniority. What is put proudly on display is the seniority, because seniority confers advantages.
To be senior is to be greater and to be greater, is to be seen as better or worthier. Of course where there is contest, juniority invariably surrenders to seniority.
However note it all, there are seniors and there are seniors.

'The Bench Insensitive' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

'Gagging A President' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

The other day, Rotimi Akeredolu S.A.N, president of the NBA wanted to speak. In a public gathering. Gathering of lawyers. Lawyers young and old. Old enough to understand simple English. English grammar which we have been told is not the African’s mother-tongue.
Now the tongue is a small but mighty member. A member that can cause commotion. Especially when it had a punch to land or a sting to deliver.
Now nobody likes to be visited by pain. As we all know we run away from pain and pleasure. My wonder then, that lawyers were and are still aghast that the number judge in Nigeria, stopped the number one lawyer in Nigeria from uttering a word at the conferment ceremony of the new sets of alleged senior advocates of Nigeria.
A man may not mind private discomfiture even ridicule but will well mind a public disgrace. Since the morning shows the day, it was clear,from Rotimi Akeredolu’s antecedents that he would not miss the opportunity of the conferment ceremony to wax his tongue eloquently if given an opportunity to talk.
The eloquence is not the issue, but its predictable sting.
So what to do? The Chief Justice of Nigeria knew what had to be done. Which was, the issuance of a gag order against Akeredolu. The order went thus:
“Mr. Man you can see, smile or even scowl but you must not say anything here.”
That was a smart move, that caught the bearded Aketi napping.
However I wonder at Mr. NBA president’s reaction to this reasonable and proper order. He got hot under the collar and threatened to stage a walkout if he would not be allowed to have a say.
I am still at sea, where a guest gets the courage to challenge his host. Since it is afree world where the Bar is a self deluded and self acclaimed partner with the Bench but in reality, is a toss-bag and spit bowl of the judiciary. Akeredolu should have known better than issuing ultimatum to the master class?
I was even more amazed to learn that other lawyers started to plead with Akeredolu not to stage a walk-out. Why beg Akeredolu to stay? Is anybody now indispensable?

'A Query for Pastor Dele Adesina SAN' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

LEARNED SQUIB – A QUERY FOR PASTOR DELE ADESINA S.A.N
Life can be full of surprises. Pleasant or unpleasant. Last week Friday the 16th april 2010 to be precise, I walked into a surprise or better still, I sailed into a rude shock, without the least premonition thereof.
With a few other Tigers, I had come to the Lagos City Hall that late bright Friday morning. Our intention was to witness the launching of the book, “FORCE OF JUSTICE” in honour of recently retired Justice of the Supreme Court George Oguntade.
The crowd at such events is predictable: judges, magistrates, lawyers, journalists, politicians, politicians masquerading as rights’ activists turned politicians, a few businessmen (hardly women) and (law) students.
I was not expecting to see or meet any unmilitary personnel at the event. However in the corridor of the hall, I heard a soft voice from inside, making an address, with an unmistakable northern (Hausa/Fulani) accent.
“The speaker must be a Northerner,” said I. my observation was right. The speaker indeed was a Northerner.
But what a Northerner – Ibrahim Badamosi Babaginda! Yes the very same guy of the coup plotting fame, coup plotter’s execution reputation.
‘settlement’ culture promotion. IMF loans and ‘conditionalities,’ Press emasculation and harassment strategist, Dele Giwa’s murder scandal, artificial parties creation, unending political transition programme, Gulf war, missing oil fund, June 12 1993 General Election Annulment
Interim Government contraption and so on and so forth.
I was aghast. What was this troubler of Nigeria doing here? The ignoble Maradona was a Babangida in Babanriga, not military fatigues but a Babangida, nonetheless.
What was Mr. “we are not only in office but in power” doing addressing jurists and counsel like and sounding pious?
Only a few days before then, the step-aside General had told the world he would be seeking election to become the next president of the country. Is the Dele Adesina event the beginning of the re-packaging of the Evil Genius?
It is my view that the last of any professional class to support or give assistance of any kind to a political monster like Babangida should be legal practitioners.
This is because, in his days as an active and direct player in the corridors of power (at least 1976 – 1993) he and his type ensured that Democracy, the promotion of the rule of law, Liberty and the Civil Rights of the Citizenry, Responsive Government and Economic salvation of the Masses of our people never thrived in Nigeria.
Mr. Dele Adesina, should reflect seriously on what I want to say next. He Adesina, is now a prosperous lawyer, but when did the prosperity and respectability begin? And for that matter, ,when did the success of many of his age-mates at the Bar begin?
Was it in the terrible, locust years when Babangida and his ilk held sway over the nation? Or was it when military rule was chased away from Nigeria and Civil Rule and democracy found berth?
Dear ‘Cousin,’ why was it necessary for you to bring an “Evil Genius” to grace an occasion meant ostensibly to honour a retired judge of the Supreme Court?
Or maybe I am actually misjudging you – c ould it be that it is a case of birds of a feather flocking together? A clue may be in the very title of your book, “FORCE OF JUSTICE.”Did the ironic jurisprudential contradiction inherent in the title strike you at all?
Those who promoted Obasanjo to power again in 1999,believing that a military autocrat had transformed over the year into a genuine democrat, now know better. Is Babangida a different kettle of fish from Baba Iyabo?

In Memoriam: Abija [May 31 2000 - March 20 2010] By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

Aguntasolo a figbogbo e file bora.
Akin o si ku
Ewa o si parun”
Late Saka Olayigbade foremost sakara musician.
The tall dandy will surrender his full length and make the earth his covercloth
The valiant will die and beauty perish
Death or even its mere thought brings out the philosopher in men. John Keats wrote his famous “Ode to a Nightingale” in the grip of the depressive thought of imminent death.
Also the eternal ‘Elegy written in a country Church Yard” by, oh God help me,I’ve forgotten his name, was inspired by the sight of an expanse of sod-land.
It is a strange death which brings relief to the living and absolutely abnormal one which fills the heart of the observers with joy and glee.
The normal effect death has on us is of grief, embarrasment, bitterness, hopelessness and even helplessness. Often death does not act the gentleman but is rude, rough and ruthless.
Last Saturday a member of my family died, a valued member, the type whose absence never merits the derisive ditty of:
E je o lo, nigba ti o lo kilose?
Alakori lo, ko la bewo,
E je o lo, nigba ti o lo kilo se?
Which in simple language translates , “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
I was in the service of ‘Lady Squib,’ my permanent weekend love, on Saturday 20th march 2010, when the news came that the grim reaper was at the threshold of my house. The doctor had been sent for but even that worthy was convinced that this cup would not pass.
I felt concerned enough about this grave development to intimate my extremely jealous ‘weekend consort’ for permission to visit home. The kindhearted and gracious ‘inamorata’ instantly granted my prayers and sent me forth with the cry “Run, Gecko, Run!
And run I did. On four wheels. I soon got home but the enemies had done their worst.
There she lay on her side, like a sheep which had suffered slaughter, eyes half closed, mouth partially open, supine but peaceful, a far cry however from her usual sleeping posture of a luxurious sprawl on her back, head aside in a decided I-feel-alright angle.
Even before I got very close, the vet, now turned undertaker had grimly informed me that “she has breathed her last.”
Curiously, I felt far from sad. I suspect I had anaesthesised my feelings. In fact I felt rather breezy.
I quickly dashed inside the house to ask after madam – the girl who bravely cared to marry me. My delicate flower was weeping her eyes out. It was a most touching sight because she never cared for a dog in the house in the first instance.
But here she was ten years later, since Abijawarabiekun (intrepid fighter much like a Tiger) came into our lives on May 31, 2000 when she was born on the very balcony where she gave up the ghost, crying seriously over Abija.
Abija was a frisky, fierce, yet friendly dog. She was a guard, sentinel, pet, friend and eventually, family. Very well behaved generally, except for occasional lapses. But then, who is perfect?
The whole household and neighbours would miss her. And, are already missing her.
Now my dear friends, a question: should you die today, will people remember you?
Another question: if they do, will it be for good?

'Etiquette for Lawyers' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

When a person is called to the Nigerian Bar as a Solicitor and advocate of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, behold, old things are passed away.
He becomes not only a gentleman but a learned gentleman. Maybe you never know: a gentleman is a gentleman but a learned gentleman is and must be a legal practitioner, only.
Now if somebody is a learned gentleman, it is by his manners – you’ll know him; manners such as
1. DRESSING PROPERLY AND NEATLY TO COURT. In courts where judicial officers preside, you will see the proper learned gentleman in black and white colours.
2. NEVER SHOUTING IN COURT. This is because shouting is often an exhibition of rage and excited emotional state. Gentlemen, particularly learned gentlemen, in the office of counsel are never to be mistaken for annoyed primates in the jungle.
3. NEVER RUNNING DOWN A COURT BEFORE THE PRESS, AFTER LOSING A CASE. A gentleman is never a bad loser. When decisions of court go against a lawyer’s expectations, he does not therefore embark on a press attack on the presiding judge.
The best policy is not to grant press interview at all. The next best policy is to speak tersely to the press and indicate that the opportunity of appeal will be exploited to test the validity of the judgement of the trial court. Abusing a judge or ridiculing his judgment in the market place, at any rate, does not change it one bit.
4. NOT ENCOURAGING OR INSTIGATING SELF HELP. Sometimes it appears that the law and due process are taking too long a time to arrive at the Justice destination. So people find it convenient, expedient to resort to self help. A lawyer however should not succumb to such inclinations. Self help often results in disorder. An instance of self help is proof of loss of confidence in the ability of constituted authority to do justice.
5. NOT DECEIVING PEOPLE. There are people you cannot entrust with anything, not even their own shadows! Decent legal practitioners do not member among such slippery, unreliable lot. The type known and addressed as people deceiving people. Rather they keep their word with clients, colleagues and the courts. The bar is not a place for just anybody. So it is extremely odious to find a liar and untrustworthy person having a place in the bar.
A gentleman is a man of honour. The first law of honour, is, of course as you know, “Keep your word!”

'Egbon's Recondite Shoes' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:50:00.002-07:00

'Forgiving Malady' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:50:00.001-07:00

'The Coup of a Barman' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:49:00.001-07:00

There is an admonition in the Bible for the faithful to show hospitality, eagerly, to strangers, “for by so doing some have entertained angels unknowingly.”
Of course it is such a great thing to have an angel, or even a company of angels as one’s guests.
You should know that I am talking of the real Mcoy. And, not those type of sweet and pretty troubles whose chests are usually corrugated and whose angelity is only of shape, sound and smell.
Last week whilst on the way to Yola, Adamawa state for the first National Executive Committee meeting, some tigers, including my, well, shall we say humble self, had an opportunity to give practice to the Biblical injunction aforementioned.
We had passed Okene, a town in Kogi State which has an intermittent migraine of restiveness and on our way to Ankpa when it happened.
We slowed down and parked our now famous Tiger Train (the 28 seater coaster bus of the Ikeja Bar) by the kerb. A middle-aged Mercedes Benz soon overtook us and dislodged an equally middle-aged man dressed in wine coloured suit and shoes.
The fellow soon rushed over and wasted no time in presenting his case: he was an Okene based lawyer who would not mind riding with the Tigers if they were on their way to Yola for the NEC meeting of the Bar.
He was a complete stranger, laden with two pot bellied bags, fat enough to carry a blunderbuss. But not only were we brave Tigers, but also kindhearted too.
Thus unanimously and without a singular ado, we cheerfully admitted him into our mobile lair. Alas, little did we know that we had brought into our very bosom, a coup plotter!
Except for a few words of polite greetings and the occasional courtesies, the guest kept quiet the first three hundred kilometers of the journey.
However he watched and listened with doze-diluted interest as the Tigers sallied to and fro at one another. Glo, maliciously known as a “stingy treasurer” the only tigress amongst us, inspite of her minority status was not an unmatch for any one of the Tigers, constantly forming and breaking alliances, to survive, only losing out when there was an uneven gang-up against her, especially between Leader, whom she nicknamed Mango Head and ‘Oguns’ cognamed “Heart Breaker” and Faro, whom everybody later discovered had established a very popular and quality table water brand in all the main parties and appurtenances of the old North Central State. For, everywhere you turned in Yola, Jalingo, etc., the dominant table water prudent was “Faro” water.
The extremely long journey eventually ended eighteen eventful hours after it started in Akure, Ondo State, at 5.59 a.m on Wednesday 18th February 2010.
There in Yola, at the Meridian Hotels, the Tigers parted ways with their travel mate.
Two days later, a re-union happened as the angel by the road side successfully sought leave to do a return journey with the Tigers.
The journey back home was less tedious and more fun filled than the visit. A national officer who decided to go half the way with the Tigers could not hide his bemused bewilderment at the way the Tigers poked fun at everyone and everything. Iln all the points of the compass.
The coup plotter a gentle observant fellow, was also at home, throwing the occasional poke, particularly in the direction of ‘Oguns’ who was obsessed with getting “fura de nunu” to drink at all cost.
Several hours later, at Oturkpo, the party had to stop, to effect some repairs on the bus.
While waiting for the restoration and empowerment of the Tiger train to continue the journey without any pericaditis of the wheels, the coup plotter expressed but rather obliquely, his desire for the party to get down at Okene that very day.
After about an hour or so, the surgeons, and quite a tribe of them, declared the Tiger Train a fit and proper vehicle to ply the roads once again.
So the journey continued. Okene was attained at the godly hour of 10.40p.m.
The Tiger guest saw us off to our hotel and then stuck on. Even when offers were made to have our bus drop him at home, he declined the offer stating that he had sent for his car to come and pick him.
Some forty minutes later, his car came. The occupants therein were not limited to the man’s wife and son. The others were a big food flask heavy with steaming white rice, pots of meat logged stew, dodo, vegetables and crates of assorted drinks.
Brethren, it was a sight to behold, for verily I tell you, it was a repast of such quality and quantity that a sight of such could have inspired that psalm of David which stated inter alia:
“A table was set before me and my cups overflowed!”
None of the Tigers expected such a feast. The nobility of it all, for once quietened them, but only for a few seconds.
After snapping out of their shock, they belted out a song:
“For he is a jolly good fellow (3x)
And so sayh all of us Hurray!(2x)
So loudly and raucously did they sing that it was a surprise the walls of the Hill Top Hotel did not come tumbling down.
On account of this coup by Barrister Amaechi Obiechina, former chairman Okene branch, all Okene based counsel are in trouble any time they venture into the jurisdiction of the Ikeja Bar.
After all, one good coup – deserves another!

'While Time Is' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-06-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

B.P.A.N. NOT S.A.N By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-02-15T16:01:00.002-08:00

It is getting rather fairly regular nowadays for me to get to court (Lagos State High Court) and be met with loud, excited – even fulsome salutations such as
Awaiting SAN!
Tomorrow’s SAN!
Recognition! Shon for the SAN!
Of course the sincerity behind these bellows of praise is not without some commercial alloy. “It is like the fervent prayers of roadside beggars – all the fervour and the cascading prayers are calculated to achieve one end – to open the zip of the purse of the prayeree.

I always know that it would shock some of these our admirers and ‘wellwishers’ to hear that one was never interested in becoming a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. Some would even express their utter unbelief in such a position.

But one of my fundamental grouses against the attainment of silk in Nigeria is because you need to APPLY for the elevation.
Pray what manner of honour is that, that requires application? The applicant in such a situation must as of necessity blow his trumpet. Really hard, to impress.

To me, applied-for-honour is not honourable. To me proper honour and glorification should be bestowed on the honoree without his asking.

The fact that terrific lawyers like my Daddy three, (http://learnedsquib.blogspot.com/2009/10/sweet-father-by-adesina-ogunlana.html )actually applied to get the hugely coveted title, which is now in the estimate of many – a talismanic password to instant wealth and fame, an investment in future greater wealth, does not impress me to the contrary view at all.

At any rate, any honest and deep thinker, would realize that the title is actually a cheap one. The standards, which become a shifting quicksand because of the omnibus “privilege” factor are not onerous.
The basic ones are as follows:
(1) The applicant must be at least ten years at the bar, after his call to the bar
(2) He must have done a number of cases (6?) at the Supreme Court or and at the Court of Appeal. Note that he does not need to even succeed in these cases. I think it is a case of “Olympics is not about winning but about participating.”
(3) The applicant must have a commendable chambers, with a library and a certain number of staff.

As far as I am concerned these are pedestrian demands. There is nothing there in the direction of a certain unmistakable DISTINCTION on the part of the applicant.

Little wonder that a vast majority of those Nigeria has dubbed Senior Advocates of Nigeria at least in the past 10 years are like the current Super Eagles players – minnows and partridges masquerading as eagle and peacocks respectively.

The bitter truth is that many of the silks we have now, are brass and tinsel, not gold and diamond. I stand to be challenged, but what panache, what beauty, what usefulness have the bulk of the silks brought to the legal profession?

As employers, despite earning millions of naira and sometimes billions, only a few of them are no kinsmen and women to Mr. Scrooge. They pay poorly.

As professionals, many are high caliber fixers of judgements and rulings. They call it in local parlance here, “PARI-ISE.” Their work does not show any intimidating degree of resourcefulness, brilliance or industry. In fact any other counsel,would not have much sweat in crushing our silks in court.

In the bar, they are not golden either. They, in the most, are not bar men and don’t care for the bar, finding it difficult to participate in the programmes of the bar or putting their money to the services of the bar; Worse, they actively and regularly discourage junior counsel in their chambers from participating in bar functions.

Why should any patriotic and public spirited person be eager to be in the group of selfish parasites like this? People who are only interested in their private pursuits with little or no care for others.

When last, I want to ask, did you see silks taking up problems facing the bar with the bench, or taking up the problems affecting the bench (the judiciary) with government?

Even the plight of students at the law school does not move these people. To graduate from the Law School, a student needs about a million naira or a modest N750,000; an uphill task for many and for some, simply a mission impossible. Yet our silks, especially those bursting with money offeronly platitudes in response. What a shame!

If you ask me, what letters do I want after my names as a legal practitioner? My answer is straight and simple: BPAN.

B.P.A.N means BEST PRACTICES ADVOCATE OF NIGERIA.

For me, Adesina Ogunlana B.P.A.N s much, better than Adesina Ogunlana S.A.N.

If you are confused here, please accept my sympathy. I speak to the deep.

Think about this new title: BEST PRACTICES ADVOCATE OF NIGERIA.

Compare it with Senior Advocate of Nigeria title: the difference is glaring.

The former is weighty, ennobling and places premium on the best of values in the profession. One can’t say the same thing for the latter. Apart from sounding crisp but sandy, it is vague, vain and self-promotional. Senior Advocate of Nigeria? You ask, what does it really mean?

'Know Thyself' By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-02-11T22:23:00.000-08:00

“Man, know thy self.” This instruction uttered ages ago by a sage, unknown to me in one credo, I believe in. It is awful if a man does not know himself. Such a fellow invariably makes a fool of himself and can very easily prove his own ruin.

To ‘know one'self’ is to have a clear, objective and true appraisal of one’s character strengths and weaknesses. For example a stammerer, even for a million pounds will not participate in a competition to determine the fastest reciter of tongue twisters.

I think I know myself. Or at least, reasonably so. I have certain types of good luck and equally possess some areas of badluck.
We won’t talk about the good luck today. You see, one area of ill-luck pertains to wedding reception entertainment.

Hard, bad luck is my repetitive lot when it comes to getting food and drinks at wedding receptions. The ill-luck is so strong that if I had been a guest at my own wedding (to the Real-Deal Ibis,) it would not have been a RSVP (Rice and Soup Very Plenty) situation for me.

It does not matter where I sit at receptions. The fare must either miss me or do a Passover, sometimes tantalizingly so.
If I choose the front row that’s when service would commence from the rear. If I elect for the back seats, you can be sure that the servers would that day obey the rule of “first things first.” By the time they get to the rear, the munificence would have dried up.
It is even worse, if I find myself seated at the centre. With the ever-present ill-luck, I become instantly invisible to the ministers of food and drinks. The excuse always is that, the center is a beehive of activities, full of distractive sights.

Last Saturday proved an opportunity to test the constancy of my anti-refreshment luck at reception.
We were five in our party. Four innocents and one Jonah. We hardly had sat down, when drinks (‘softs’ water and juice packs) surfaced on our table. I was not deceived. I was even less deceived when some fifteen minutes later, one of the principal pillars of the reception specifically asked me what particular drinks I would like for my table.
I almost laughed at the gent’s face. When I told him my party’s preference, the good man bustled off to see them moved over. But that was the last I saw of him, till we left more than an hour later.

When I saw servers moving about with trays laden with food, I shook my head. Not for myself but for the sections nearest to me, to the right and left.
Sometimes, my afore-said ill-luck extends its repellant jurisdiction to affect my immediate neighbours.
Soon the refreshment train came to our table. Then it happened, the trained chugged to a halt mid-way as only three of us got served.

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty even fifty-minutes later, the only plate of food that surfaced was just a small mound of semovita, some questionable egusi soup and a big chunk of fried meat.
It was intantly rejected by the fellow to my right. I on the other hand quickly claimed it. I knew what would follow later. So while four of our party got food and started due process on them, the fifth, popularly known as ‘prof’ could only look on.
Poor Prof. How he waited for manna to came down. I really felt sorry for the poor man. It must have been excruciating seeing your companions having a swell time at table, leaving you high and dry.

From the wicked corners of my eye, I was espying the man. I followed his internal turmoil intimately. I saw him dangling between cultured silence (siddon-look) and a yearning to ask for food.

Then after about fifty minutes of “guest-earnestly-yearning for-rice”, the Lord intervened in prof’s case. Might be the Lord saw the unholy glee in my heart and decided to end prof’s suffering.
This story has a moral. And it is that except, you are on a fast, don’t accompany me or don’t let me accompany you to wedding receptions. You doubt me? Ask ‘prof.’

CHECK OUT THE WEDDING PIX AT http://www.squibsociety.blogspot.com

“Costly Oaths” By Adesina Ogunlana

2010-01-23T04:07:00.000-08:00

Occasionally I come across an advert stating that “talk is cheap.” I doubt whether talk is ever cheap, or at least that cheap, if you know what I mean.
Talk may be cheap, but I can tell you that swearing to an oath, is more likely to be expensive than cheap.

Even the very sound of the word “Oath” suggests that it carries some weight and you know weight matters can cost dearly indeed.
If one goes to an African shrine of whichever deity or is it principality, it may not be too smart to believe in the slogan – “Talk is Cheap.” For dire consequences for swearing falsely or avowing carelessly or recklessly in such shrines, it is believed, come swiftly and surely.

The matter is not that grave with swearing in the shrines of Gods originally located or identified in off-shore jurisdictions. Such shrines or worship centres are called cathedrals, temples, synagogues, mosques, praying grounds, holy ghost camps etc.

Take Islam for example. A supposedly devout Muslim can blithely swear by the name of Allah that he would not dip his hands into the cookie jar, but will calmly proceed to swallow it completely. Should an innocent remind him of his Oath, he would shrug his shoulders and wink at the innocent’s fears to declare: “No shaking, Allah is not a wicked God!”

Don’t let us even talk of Christianity. If a “brother in the Lord” or a “sister in the spirit” loudly and clearly declares his innocence on an allegation of a crime and goes on to invite the “God that answereth by fire” to deal with him if his declaration was false, when indeed it was assuredly false, he would do so because he reclines in the easy chair of a certain confidence that for quite some time now, at least since the demise of the Apostles, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob has ceased to deal with malefactors, including bare-faced liars like him, grimly and quickly.

At any rate he knows that a heavy dose of tithes and fulsome, if expeditious “cries” for mercy tends to sway Jehovah, sorry, “Daddy” to indulgent forgiveness.

But there is a place in the geographical expression known, called and addressed as Nigeria, where swearing to an Oath now, is a matter where the ordinary Nigerian may have to tread with caution.

That place, ladies and gentlemen, is the Lagos State Judiciary. You see I stumbled across an undated and unsigned public memo last Thursday (14 January 2010) proclaiming that those wishing to swear in any of the ‘shrines’ of the Lagos Judiciary (Registry) would pay N250.00 per oath; as from the 16th January 2010, and for certification of documents, it would henceforth cost N200.00 per page.

Before now, swearing to Oath cost only N50.00 and certification N100.00.
Clearly, a jump of N50.00 to N250.00 for swearing to an oath would in the light of the dilapidated state of our national economy, encourage prudence and sober reflection on the part of the average Nigerian.
You know N250.00 is more than a tidbit of cash; if one is not in the league of EFCC attracting bankers.

With 250.00 you can buy:
(a) two or three litres of black market petrol
(b) a fat bottle of lager and some smoke
(c) a recharge card (starcomms)
(d) five pieces of Gala
(e) a stick of chunky suya
(f) two (pirated) CDs
(g) five bottles of coke
(h) five BRT tickets
(i) five apples
(j) a big tube of toothpaste
(k) a wrap of hot amala with one or two pieces of meat in a ‘bukateria’

Now for any of these things and many more, citizen Olu, Obi or Audu would have to surrender his N250.00 for deposing to an Oath.
But who is the “Management” that says oath swearing now is N250.00 and no longer N50.00?
I am not conversant with that nomenclature in the Lagos State Judiciary. Is somebody afraid to identify with a decision that smells and looks “anti-people?”
And it has happened before. In 2001 when Justice Sotuminu was Chief Judge and Mrs. Toyin Taiwo, now Hon. Justice Toyin Taiwo, was the Chief Registrar of the Lagos State High Court, a ‘public memo’ came out. Its message was the sale of The Squib, this same Squib had been banned in the Lagos State courts. The said memo was unsigned and undated and did not refer to any law.
I swear that this new memo is inspired by proddings from Alausa.
If I am wrong let this happen to me; let that happen to me. Talk is cheap, since I am not swearing to an affidavit on this matter.
But seriously speaking, isn’t N250.00 for an oath not a hurdle to easy access to the courts?

*Inspirational message from the Squib editor at http://www.winnersdonotquit.blogspot.com

HOME TRUTHS FOR NEW WIGS IV

2010-01-14T16:38:00.000-08:00

A good advocate must be well spoken. And it is not just a matter of compliance with rules of syntax and grammar of the English language. In fact that is a basic, that should be taken for granted.
Suppose you come into a court-room and should look round the bar, how would tell the new wig from the veterian?
Is it by their wigs and gowns?
Certainly not, for not all old wigs don old, case-worn wears to court.
Is it by their faces?
This cannot be another good yard-stick, for there are Methuselahs just called to the bar while there are many young bucks and does for that matter who have seen years in the bar!
I can tell you a seasoned advocate by the twirl of his tongue - that is how he chooses his words and how he delivers them.
For starters, the good advocate never ever bellows or shouts. It is only yokels who mistake clarity for high decibel.
When they say your words should come out loud and clear in the court room, it is not an invitation to re-enact the environment of the Towers of Babel.
Even the need for emphasis does not compel raising up a din. The presiding judge or judges and the witness are not Helen Keller clones. In fact they hear you only too well.
The other thing you will easily notice in the language style of seasoned advocates is that it is invariably polite and polished.
The good advocate’s speech oozes with courtesies and even where colourful, does not do away with tact and is always calculated to win not only the head of the judex, but also his heart.
Only a few new wigs can put up a creditably high performance in court. The words are basic, stark, bereft of the arresting grace, tending to sting the ears of the judge with its ordinariness, even coarseness.
Where the seasoned advocate would to an enquiry from the court yield “yes milord” or “yes sir,” the new wig may not deem it any better to answer “yes” and in some cases, present the Yankee variant of “Yeah” or even worse “Yep!”
Of course you’ll never, under any circumstances find the seasoned counsel saying to the honorable judge: “you said this, or “I did not hear you...”
The way of the seasoned counsel is to intone mellifluously- “your lordship did say"…… "and I respectfully beg the pardon of the honourable court..."
And so easily do new wigs lose their cool and balance often in reaction to provocative antics and assays of apposing counsel or the bothersome thrusts of quirky judges or magistrates.
But not so quickly the veterans. These know that the colour of grace is best revealed under fire and so like legal ducks bob coolly on even as insults, tirades and such hostile liquids slush all over them.
The veteran’s contant purpose is never to lose the judge, for that worthy and nobody else is the instrument than can procure for his client, justice and its attendant benefits and redemption.
As they well know, indulging or giving in to anger or its not too distant a kinsman in court is one sure way of kicking off the much needed instrument. So when next you see a counsel remaining as cool as a dog’s nose inspite of all tribulations from the bench, do not judge him as a weakling who is allowing his back unnecessary whacks and wallops.
Just do like-wise. And it helps to remember that what is called and known as a court of law is not a jungle, a market place or a motor-park.
A court-room is a temple. A temple of justice. And in temples, the best of behaviour is expected, particularly of the ministers.
Never forget this.

HOME TRUTHS FOR NEW WIGS III

2009-12-14T05:52:00.000-08:00

If there is any counsel anywhere whose cockles are warmed when referred to or identified as a barrister, he must be a new wig. How new wigs like to show off that they are now members of the bar!

THE bar, mind you, not that other universal bar which comes in different shapes and sizes but where libations may or may not precede imbibation, which may proceed to intoxication, exceeding not unusually to stupefaction.

I think it not untoward for a counsel duly called to the bar to wish to be known as a gentleman. People, it is no joke, at least in Nigeria, to legitimately attain the double barreled status of “barrister and solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria.”

For me, many years after leaving the university, I still remember my ordeals so to say under intellectual task masters such as Yemi “Res gestae” Osinbajo, Benedicta “Master Your Torts” Susu, “One-point-zero” Smith, Mike “Constitutional Terror” Ikhariale, Baba, “Jurrrysprudenze” Daramola there and even greater ‘Horrors’ at the school of all schools, the Nigerian Law School.

But it is one thing to say you are one thing, it is another to look it. If you take a spoonful of the contents of a bottle labeled ‘Honey’ and only then realize you’ve lubricated your innards with vinegar, it is doubtful you’ll break into a smile; grimace, more like it.

It is, perhaps an imperfect analogy, but that’s how one may liken the dressing of many new wigs which hardly matches the expected level of true and proper counsel.

The public perception and expectation (a reasonable one for that matter) of a legal practitioner in terms of dressing and comportment is that he should always look decent, respectable and attractive.

Unfortunately, many new wigs are sloppy, indifferent and distasteful dressers.

Uncountable numbers of them have lost employment opportunities due wholly or in part, to poor dressing. What reasonable principal would consider taking on a new wig who comes for interview wearing an unironed shirt and a perishing jacket?

There was an occasion a new wig seriously in search of a job came to me wearing a stressed out buba and sokoto with a “tekowi” looking type of sandal! Since I could not imagine an Agbekoya in my chambers, I was neither slow nor polite in chasing away the disgrace from my presence.

When you meet many new wigs in the court premises these days, especially in the afternoons, they are often without any “chest ornamentation” in the form of a tie or a bib. The quick excuses are: “Sir, it’s so hot” and “I have just left the court room.”

But as we have said earlier, these are just excuses to justify a not so respectable appearance. Come rain, come shine, a gentleman except in dire, emergency situations and circumstances, will always look decent and respectable.

It baffles me when new wigs complain that they are not given due respect by older colleagues, judges, judiciary staff and even litigants. Is it because I’m young?’ they fume.

They seem to forget that already they are at a disadvantage ab-initio by being mere youths in a patriarchal, gerontocratic society and novice entrants into a conservative profession that practices seniority. To now indulge in a dressing mode that demonstrates and even emphasizes the “I-don-care” casualness, if not libertine, control-resisting impulses and tendencies of youth now puts them in the tragic shoes of the proverbial man marked down for roasting who goes ahead to give himself an oil wash.

Who will give respect to a young lawyer who looks like a failed or failing salesman? Who will yield honour to a new wig who can be mistaken for a secondary school drop-out or a medicine peddler? I think I should put in an extra word for new wigs who are ladies, as some of them not only dress poorly but wrongly.

Any lady who is called to the Nigerian Bar cannot embrace the Book of Revelation and the Scriptures of exposure and strut about as a sex-bomb and expect to be considered and treated any better than a hooker on the loose.

Of course, dressing the part of a lawyer does not need to be expensive. There are so many places including ‘bend down boutiques’ where a man may go and ‘select’ and go home with neat and decent wears.

Is somebody scoffing there? Verily I say unto you: better to patronize Aswani market for wears on Saturday and look okay on Monday than to look vulture-shabby and blame your pathetic appearance on your lean pockets!

The basic rules governing good dressing are as follows:

1. Accept these two colours: black and white as major colours you have to live with, all the days of your professional life. Two other colours you should also embrace are navy-blue and grey. The reason is that these are sober colours, acceptable in the profession, for most occasions.

A legal practitioner is in a sober and conservative profession and as such it is not expected especially in court to turn up in bright and loud colours.

This means it is a “crime” to come to court in shoes and wears coloured orange, red, gold, brown, green, etc. These are the colours of modern day tele-evangelists, actors, musicians and such others.

2. Be well groomed. Take care of your hair cuts and hair dos. Stay away from the weird and the fantastic. You are not a thespian? Avoid sloppy “finishing” like unshaved cheeks, unpolished shoes, ‘fling-y’ shoe laces, unpruned nails, large and loud ornaments, scruffy bags, tousled hair, scrappy belts.

3. Wear clean clothes. Your wears need not be expensive. In fact they can be the cheapest anywhere but you must wear them neat. Your suits must be neat; your ties and bibs neat and unstained.

Your shoes must not be crying for salvation or yelling for attention. And if you have a car, it must not look like a mobile mad-house or an ambulatory dung-heap! Your car is an extension of your appearance.
TO BE CONTINUED.

'Home Truths For New Wigs II' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-12-02T03:48:00.000-08:00

Good effective lawyers, especially advocates do not share beddings with fear or any of its variants, like shyness, self-effacement, false humility and timidity.
On the contrary they are bold, and active. They are goal getters, determined to see things through, no matter the odds or challenges.
This, of course is the attitude of champions and winners. The virtue of having self-confident is the platform they use to launch themselves into the actulisation of their goals.
Unfortunately quite a few of new-wigs are not only worms, they are content to remain worms, forever or so it seems.
These types are the one who has a regular song on their lips. The song is short and simple- “I can’t do it," For example when the Principal passes on a case file to the worm-wig, to study and draft for a motion, the w-w opens his eyes in alarm, then belts out his song in a mean- “I can’t do it sir”
When the principal says for the w-w to prepare for a trial which he conduct at the magistrate court, the w-w’s heart palpitates, before singing- “I can’t do it sir."
Of course the w-w loves to go to the High Court and other superior courts-but only as a tourist or a spectator or at best a lawyer’s companion whose job does not exceed carrying bags and files, taking notes, fetching authorities for the lead counsel.
The w-w is sorely afraid that he may be left alone in the court, by his senior or principal, since he believes he is too ‘small’ to stand up in court and address the judge.
So he ensures that he keeps a close watch on his lead counsel. And some have been known to go to the extent of welding their gowns to their leaders’ by way of super-glue. So that, it become a matter of “where ever you go sir, I go”
To all intents and purposes then, the w-w is merely a piece of decoration in the Chambers of his employer.
Little wonder, they do not last-only a mad employer will continue to pay for a non-productive member of staff.
Nobody is called to the Nigerian Bar of the Supreme Court as a barrister and solicitor, only to become, and even worse, remain a worm.
For the bar is too hot, too rough for any worm to find it a happy habitat. Thus the new wig, has no option, should be hope to be a useful barrister, other than to shed all fears and apprehensions and face his work with courage.
Somebody should tell the new wig that:-
(a) You are no worm, if you are, you won’t even pass your varsity examinations and graduate from the Law School.
(b) The court-room is not a shark infested ocean, waiting only two eagerly to have you for lunch
(c) Judges are no two-headed dragons, who devour new wigs.
(d) There is no crime in making mistakes-the real crime is not even trying to do anything at all or take any step for fair of failing.
(e) You too one day can will become as good and even better than those “old wigs”, you admire as “super-lawyers”. You may not realise it but the truth is that they were once green-horns like you too!
But you have to get started! Stop singing that your one and only line: "I can't do it." For, believe me, you can actually do it.

'Home Truths For New Wigs' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-11-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

When two or three new wigs gather, there complaint is! Oh my God, can new wigs complain? Before getting employed, they complain about the dearth of jobs. After employment, they complain about, well about everything.

It is either the office is too far, or the job is too tedious. Of course there is the perennial complaint about poor salaries. There is the grouse against the “tyranny” of principal counsel and the oppression by the judge/magistrate.

In the event, the average Mr. or Miss New Wig is invariably a grossly dissatisfied individual who often feels cheated and exploited by his employer, thus always out to hop on to greener pastures, all the time or at least almost all the time.
However the more likely truth is that the new wig’s greatest enemy is, oft times himself. A multiple combination of character failings render many new wigs unsuitable for the tasking field of legal practice.

Below are some of these faults.
1. LAZINESS
A typical new-wig is a firm believer in the dreamer’s axiom of “Little Work, Great profit.” Unfortunately legal practice thrives on a different parameter of remuneration which is “Great Industry, Great Success” and conversely “Little Industry, Little Success.”
A typical successful lawyer is a busy bee - always reading, always consulting, always counseling, perpetually preparing.

Working long hours is the norm in his field, partly because the field of law is vast and partly because at any time, the advocates faces two barriers, the judge and the opposing counsel. Nobody scales over double barriers, with a casual leap.
But what does our “Just-called-to-the-Bar fellow want? He wants to have a life of pleasure, comfort and relaxation, of breaking very little sweat.

To such fellows, poring over case-files is a pain, studying law reports and researching authorities, a horror, not to talk of drafting and re-drafting processes, a high crime.
What our new wig wants is to spend a few hours in chambers reading soft-sell magazines or leafing through one or two documents before checking out for break and after another hour or so, close for the day. If he goes to court, he hopes to be out of the premises of the court-house before 11.00am.
And as their ilk argue, “Too much stress spoil fine boy!”
The lazy new wig cannot bear working on in the office beyond 6.00pm. And except the sun rises in the west and the moon turns pink, he will never be in the chambers on a Saturday.

Work for weekend? Tu fiaka! Am I a slave? Mr. Jelenke lawyer queries and even further-“How much are they paying me sef?”
No senior counsel employs a junior in the hope of nursing a liability. The junior is expected to add value to the chamber, and a continuous asset for that matter.
Clearly a lazy bone junior is no way an asset to his employer’s chambers. Rather he is a liability and in some situations, worse than a curse. My advice to lazy bone junior lawyer is to set up shop themselves, where they’ll be masters and mistresses of their own and even more important, take things easy. When that happens, water, as they say will quickly finds its level. To be continued…

LOCATIONAL ARITHMETICS By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-11-19T02:50:00.000-08:00

Is 2+2 always 4? Constantly 4? Permanently 4? Invariably 4? Absolutely 4? Perpetually 4?
Do you know the answer? If you don’t it is sure proof that you are not an initiate of the supremely poignant science of Locational Arithmetics.

Of course a traditional mathematicial believes and will always believe that 2+2 will automatically and exclusively answer 4.
But we know better. 2+2 is not necessarily 4. it can be 7 or 50, or 1. In fact, it can be anything. And in this contention, the Lord is on my side or better and more truly still, I am on the side of the Lord.
Or is it not written in the Holy Bible that “in the eye of the Lord, a thousand years is like a day and a day like a thousand years?”

To those who are taught and believe in Rigid Mathematics to wit Traditional Mathematics, the scripture afore-mentioned is nothing but an instance of celestial tomfoolery.

For, they are bound to ask, how can a thousand years, if indeed it is a thousand years be like a day – when a day is just a day (24 hours) while a thousand years is a whopping 356,000 days? That, I guess is like saying that the antlers of a reindeer is like the ‘horns’ of a snail!

But we Locational Arithmeticians have no problem with that at all! We know for a truth that the universe is an amoeba and the inhabitants thereof are like changelings or chameleons.

You see the chameleon indeed is the true symbol of the universe’s perpetually changing faces and phases. When his habitat is brown, the ‘leon is in tandem, when orange, the ‘leon leans toward that range, when it becomes black, the ‘leon is not slack to become a fellow of the order of the soot!

In a single planet, there are many worlds and in these different worlds are thousands of varied experiences.
What is, is what, what is is as at when and by who determining what is? You can’t comprehend? Let’s take the issue of prison terms, for an illustration of the seeming puzzle.
Let’s say on January 1, 2009 (Gregorian Calender) a man was jailed by a court for 2 years. When will his jail term end?

The ordinary answer is “December 2010.” Of course that answer is not correct, for when it is August 2010, his jailers will let him out of confinement.

This is because in the world of the prison, a year does not comprise 12 months, or 52 weeks. Rather a year (in the eye) of the prison system has only 8 months, as known in the Gregorian Calendar.
Why is this so? The answer is found in the science of Locational Arithmetics.

In the “outside” world, a week has 7 days, two which days, Saturday and Sunday are days when officially people don’t work.

Only in the prison however, there is, in the eye of the “owners, founders and authorities” of the place no “non-work” days. Every day is a working day for the time server, after all his ‘work’ in the prison yard is to serve time.

Thus in the world of the prison, time is calculated in this fashion:
(1) a week is five days and not seven days
(2) a month therefore is 20 days and not thirty or thirty one days
(3) thus a year is 12 months of 20 days each, making a total of 240 days instead of the normal 365 days.

In prison, 7 days is one week plus two days. There is no weekend as known in the outside world.

If you are still arguing this by now, I have a simple advice for you. You go and get yourself a jail term and see when you will come out!

'AND A CALL CAME THROUGH' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-11-18T00:12:00.000-08:00

Agnes knew that a quarrel with her husband Addeh was inevitable. While she was very interested in attending a big “owambe” party by a friend of their family in Ilesha, Addeh was not keen at all.

She decided to battle him early. So as early as 5.30 am, she had jumped out of the bed and started making preparations. When it was 6.50 am, she breezily announced to Addeh who was still in bed, “Dear, you have to get up now for your bath. You know we are going to Ilesa today.” The loud declaration forced its way into Addeh’s hearing. He opened an eye and grunted, “What did you say? Ilesa?”

“Yes we are going to Ilesa for chief’s party,” Agnes replied even more breezily. Her husband now groaned and said “Oh my God, not today. I am so tired. Ilesa? Ah, no, no, Ilesa is too far.” “Don’t worry about the distance. I have asked Kayode to come to work today to drive us down,” Agnes explained.
“But you know I don’t have the time. I have a very serious trial on Monday. I must still get to the chambers today.”
“When will you ever have time, you this man? Work, work, everytime. Chief will not be happy if we don’t attend his father’s burial. We’ll be there together. You are fond of giving excuses every time. Your cases are always more important, than the happiness of your home. Are you the only lawyer in Lagos? Agnes said sourly.

“Will you stop that? There you go again with your annoying queries,” said Addeh, annoyed that sleep had cleared from his eyes.
Suddenly Agnes changed tack as she swept down to Addeh and hugged him. But Addeh got even more irritated and scrambled up to his feet.
“No need for all that. I’ll go with you.”
The journey to Ilesa was smooth but rather quiet. Addeh buried his head in two big files, almost all through the three hour journey, much to the annoyance of his wife who so badly wanted to chat with him. Even when she offered him on-the-road snacks, he only nibbled at them absentmindedly while mumbling occasionally to himself.

The party was a success as far as Agnes was concerned. There was enough to eat and drink and ample opportunity to dance. She loved to dance and particularly with her husband.

Addeh however did not “catch fire.” He was just going through the motions of greeting friends and acquaintances. He ate distractedly.
The journey back to Lagos was also smooth. And, quiet. Addeh slept all through. The rest was strategic, for later at about 2.00am, he woke up and headed straight to his study. To face those files again.

The barrister managed to attend church service but escaped straight to his chambers, once it was 1.00pm. and he did not come back home until 10.00pm.

Though weary, he was happy. In his happiness it took him some time to realize that Agnes was rather glum.
“Ha, sis, where are my kids? My opponents will smell pepper tomorrow” said he, addressing Agnes, who was curled up on a seat, a scowl on her face.
“Welcome O, Lagos lawyer. Your kids are asleep sir. We should thank God that you have time for us now, since Friday?” said Agnes coldly.

It was time for Addeh to be in a chatty mood and for Agnes to be sober and quiet. As Addeh ate his dinner, he continued to regale his wife with stories of his deep preparation for the case. He concluded with a boast: “See, even if they (the adverse party) should wake up both F.R.A Williams and Gani Fawehinmi from the dead and line them against me, I can’t lose the case. I am bringing an expert in philately all the way from Gambia for this case.”

The next morning, Barrister Addeh was the first counsel to be in court. His expert witness and his client came in together, a few minutes after. The time was 8.25am.

When it was 8.46am, Addeh sighted the opposing counsel, a fat, pompous and garrulous lawyer trundling in to the court with his customary self important airs.
“You are in for a shock today, you and your client,” said Addeh to himself. Suddenly an idea flashed into Addeh’s mind. He quietly glanced at his watch which indicated 8.50am.
“I just have to check this up,” muttered Addeh as he rushed out of the court and half sprinted to the court library. It was 8.58pm when he sprinted out of the library.

He was out of breath when he reached the door of the court. Just then the court registrar called out his case, “ID/12999/11 Sogolongo Nigeria Ltd.vs Ologose Electricals!” Addeh stopped dead in his tracks. He could not see the judge in his customary place or anywhere else in the court. What was happening?

“Are parties present? Counsel, which date? Asked the registrar.”Date?” ejaculated Addeh, looking quite bewildered.
“Oh sorry counsel, but milord is not sitting today he went for a seminar,” answered the court registrar.

POSTSCRIPT:
Last week, a call came through to me. The voice on the other end said “Good evening Mr. Ogunlana. Milord asked me to tell you not to bother to come tomorrow for your matter before us, as the judgement is not ready yet. His Lordship also said for you to pass the message to the counsel on the other side.”
The piece is my way of saying “Thank you milord, for the call.”

'Expired Terror' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-11-02T00:15:00.000-08:00

It is not every day, you hear what I describe as a “comprehensive judgement”. But last Friday, it was my good fortune to be there when D. Okuwobi, honourable judge of the Lagos State High Court put a judicial and judicious end to a six-year old case in her court.

It was to say the least, a deep and well thought out judicial delivery. Industry was apparent. Scholarship was present. Save for a few understandable hiccups, the delivery was great.

At the end of the day, one had to resist the impulse of giving the honourable judge a pat on the back (literally) - for the simple reason, that such is never done, and even if such were ever done, who am I or my fathers before me?

This piece however, is - sorry to disappoint you, not about Okuwobi J (whose tribe we pray should increase in the Lagos state judiciary and who I sincerely believe ought to be placed, since yesterday, upstairs).

It is about another judge. A judge I saw, seated anonymously - on a chair in the bare reception. This judge was dressed in an agbada out-fit with a deep blue cap, worn in a partial cylinder (Aro onifila gogoro) style. His presence reminded me of a potentate of a rustic kingdom in South-West Nigeria.

I recognised the man immediately but offered no greetings. But except for the two or three other people, who apparently were in his company, no other person seemed to recognize him and if they ever did, offered no salutations or otherwise gave any hint of recognition.
I simply marveled at the ways of the world, for you need to have known this man in the prime of his power as a serving judge.

It is doubtful whether you can get more than a handful of lawyers, who knew him as a serving judge in the 80s and 90s and who appeared before him, who would not shudder with revulsion at the mention of his name.
If ever a judge was a terror and a bully to legal practitioners, this man was. Deflating lawyers’ egos appeared to be his hobby and ridiculing them in open court, a common past-time.

I was there in 1997 when he reduced a lady lawyer to a trembling mass of tears. I was there when he scathingly lampooned a lawyer as a “fuji” musician and harrumphed when the lawyer said he was an Ibadan based legal practitioner. "Little wonder," snorted Mr. High and Mighty Judge.

I was also there, where he from his Olympian throne destroyed the dignity of another practitioner, by grandiosely uttering the following words. “After listening to a beautiful but empty submission, I have no hesitation whatsoever, in dismissing this application. Young man, did you say you practice in Maza-Maza? You go back there and read up your law books. If I gave you five million naira this rainy morning, as you demanded, you think you’ll work again in your life?”

I cannot forget what happened when my case, an application for certiorari was called for the first time in this judge’s court.
JUDGE: Yes counsel, what’s this matter about?
COUNSEL: Milord, it is an application for leave to obtain an order of certiorari
JUDGE: (shouting and jumping up his seat, at the same time) Mandamus! Prohibition! Certiorari all are prerogative writs. Go to Appeal! I rise!
And just like that, the judge retired to his chambers. Thirty minutes later he came back to the court only to ask: “Youngman, you are still standing there?” He heard the application perfunctorily and perfunctorily granted the leave sought.
At the next hearing date, when I was to move the application proper, the judge struck it out, in my humble view, peremptorily, wrongly and unjustifiably.
It was a rainy May morning day and time 9:03am. The matter was number one in the list. This scenario now played itself out.
COUNSEL: My lord, subject to the convenience of the honourable court, we are ready to move our application.
JUDGE: Where are the applicants?
COUNSEL: Milord, I am sorry the applicants are not right here in the court. They are on their way. I am sure it is the rain that has slowed them down.
JUDGE: it is raining but I am here all the way from Ikoyi and you too, despite the rain, are here. An application for certiorari is a serious thing and should be treated that way. The applicants can’t stay in their homes and get it. I will strike out this application.
COUNSEL: Milord, I beg the court not to strike out our application. The applicants were in court on Monday and will come today.
JUDGE: Application is hereby struck out!
Last Friday, Mr. High and Mighty Judge, was just any other citizen of the land. He started his career in the court as a lawyer and even became the chairman of his local branch. Thereafter he became a judge in the same court. Now he is but a mere litigant.
A litigant who hopes on and depends on the judgement of the new faces on the bench. That’s life my dears, and the story of Mr. Justice Ishola Olorun-Nimbe.
At least as I know it.
Igba o tan lo bi orere.
Orere omo olofin

*check out squib stories by clicking link below: http://www.squibcoverstory.blogspot.com

'Thank You, Marvel' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-10-31T04:43:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. A small one really - I am always suspicious of big men. And big women too. They type that one now extinct political character, coloured flamboyantly with the unforgettable phrase “Men of timber and caliber.”
If you are no heavy weight yourself, you’ll be kidding yourself to see a friend in a big man especially where the big man, is a big man in government.
Trust you to know their type, governors, Deputy governors, Senators, Commissioners, Ministers, Ambassadors, Special Assistant, Director-General, etc.
What a new unknown safe postulated about these GBM (Government Big Men) is for most tunes, an infallible truism-“A friend in government is a friend lost”
When you need the help and services of the GBMS, you’ll find yourself in a quandary of shocked disappointment suddenly. You are like the man who puts his hand to the scabbard to pull out a trusty blade in self defence, only to find only a needle there, if anything at all!
One may not blame the big men too much. It may be a class thing. You know the law of social grouping says a member of a group (all other things being equal) receives attention and care almost compulsorily from other members of his group."
This is a longish way of stating what the yorubas have known from time immemorial that “Olowo a sore olowo,
olosi a sore olosi”.
“As the rich is friend to the rich
the wretch to the wretch.”
So whatever I “jam” a BGM, I take their display of amity and fanfares of familiarity with a grain of salt. I do not make the mistake of asking for the compulsory cards of BGMS and when they offer me, I promptly lose them
My thinking is, these people are not my friends and I am not taken in by the transient conviviality - for when, thereafter now you reach out to the BGMS, you’ll find yourself knocking your head against the wall.
No Access. Repeat. No Access. It is either your poor man’s call does not go through or in those rare miraculous situations when the camel ‘some how, some how’ goes through the eye of the needle, the call cries itself out, with no heeding from the outer space of course your text messages never gets a response. So much for your vaunted connection to a BGM.
A couple of months ago, I was in company of some Executive Committee members of the Ikeja bar, on a visit to Marvel Akpyibo Esq, C.P Lagos State. At the end of the visit, the police commissioner, a cheerful and banter some extrovert distributed his cards to us. I took one politely. By the next day, the card, as usual with its type flew away from my possession.
Then just five weeks ago, on a Sunday afternoon, a distress call came in. The caller's plight was that his mother was under arrest at Dention Police Station over a case wrongly classed ‘arson’ by the big man of the station.
When I got to the station the D.P.O was, as we say in Nigeria, “not on seat”. A fellow obliged me, the officer’s number and presto, I placed a call.
Lawyer: Good afternoon sir.
D.P.O: (gruffly) yes, good afternoon
Lawyer: Sir, I am a lawyer and I am making this call with respect to so and so madam being detained here over a case of arson.
D.P.O: Please today is a Sunday I am not in the office.
Lawyer: Sir, that’s why I am calling you
D.P.O: I am not in the office (switched off)
You can imagine my situation. Here’s Mr. Saviour, alias, lawyer, drafted in to save the situation being summarily stopped in his tracks.
Then I remembered the honorable Commissioner of Police. Lets just give that a try, I thought rather resignedly. I got the CP’s number from the incumbent Elekun of Ekunland, His Bar Majesty, the Kabiewa, Dave Ajetomobi, the Ikeja bar chair.
Then I placed the call.
Miracle 1: the call went through
Miracle 2: the call was picked
Miracle 3: the BGM, all the way from outer space gave orders for the immediate release of the detained woman.
Miracle 4: the D.P.O who had no time for small lawyer, now had time to quickly effect release of the detainee. All on the phone.
Interestingly after the release of the woman from detention, I placed calls to the honourable C.P, to say my thanks, but true to my earlier postulation, they never went through again.
Well, here sir, Marvel Akpoyibo Esq., C.P Lagos State, is my thanks. E se pupo pupo. E se gan an!

"Remember the Hunter's Dog' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-10-31T04:34:00.000-07:00

Judges in a way, are like wine.

They come in different colours and bites. For some time now, I have been appearing regularly before His lordship, Mr. Justice Mufutau Olokkoba, of the Ikeja High Court, Lagos.

The Olokooba court has one important quality, that is not too common these days in so many other courts - wide intellectual ventilation. Unlike some judicial arenas, where the only wise head is the presiding judge and who declaims from an Olympian height of exclusive sagacity to an audience of dunces, the Olokooba court allows muscular, even vigorous mental jousting on legal issues and procedures between the bench and the bar. And, it is important to note that the honourable judge does not always win.
So it is safe to state that the Justice Olookoba court is a bar-friendly court. Occasionally however, the Judex sometime has cause to reprimand lawyers for one indiscretion or the other.
Last Tuesday, 6th October was one of such few days of reprimand. I hardly spent five minutes watching proceeding before I knew that a particular lawyer, had it coming to him.
The counsel’s statements and tone, and methinks, general countenance and comportment appeared to suggest a certain risible but subdued arrogance or an evasive insouciance.
The hearing in the matter at hard was almost over, when the counsel finally got the court’s goat. What happened was this the opposing counsel had suggested a date, to which suggestion, the counsel in question, retorted “but I have asked for a short date”.
The honourable Justice response went thus:-

“Oh so because you have asked for a short(er) date, you must get that date? Lawyers should refrain from conducting themselves or acting in a way that would belittle the courts; when a lawyer drags a judge down by telling his clients, “oh don’t mind the judge, he is this, he is that, he is only shooting himself in the leg. This is because when you lower the dignity of the judge, thinking that you are promoting yourself, you are actually lowering your own dignity.
It is like the case of the Hyena and the (hunter’s) dog. Any time the dog barks, the hyena would run away. Ordinarily the dog is food for the hyena, but the hyena runs because it believes that behind the dog is the hunter who can kill him.
But the dog keep asking him not to run away. He will say a lot of things about that the hunter is not even with him (the dog) or that the hunter does not always have his gun with him. Of course the dog is only harming himself, because the hunter is his protection.
If lawyers treat the court with courtesy and respect, who is that litigant that will misbehave to the court? When you see a lawyer bowing to the court or tip-toeing (so as not to make a noise with his shoes) there, the litigant cannot behave any how in court. But these days, you see lawyers, especially lady lawyers walking ka, ko, ka, ko in court.
In those days in my village, if you dare to cough one mile to the court house, even if you had tuberculosis, but things are changing now and it is not good.
Lawyers should know that they are the only professionals who are treated with so great respect by those who engage them. Yes you are the only professionals like that - people will pay you to do a job for them and they will still be prostrating for you. They are doing that because of their respect for the court, so you shouldn’t now rubbish the same court, because you’ll otherwise be shooting yourself in the foot.”

Happily the judge’s message was well received, as the lawyer in question immediately sober and repentant. Said he, “I apologise to the court and I am sorry if I had given the impression that I have no respect for the court. That is not the situation my lord. Indeed I hold the court in great esteem”
And, there, ladies and gentleman that was the end of the matter.

'Sweet Father' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-10-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

Since my father would rather keep writing briefs and settling other people’s problems than working on his memoirs, I feel obliged to write same for him, albeit - instalmentally.
Date was 26th July 2009, time 7.45p.m when my humble self and a former Deputy gecko came to Baba’s house. The purpose of the visit was to work with the Titan to draft processes for filing Monday next against my endless pseudo prosecution in Abuja, before the L.P.D.C.
Work started in the earnest at 8.00pm, that, after a few minutes of intellectual sparring and skirmishes. Friends, it is always a joy to see a true professional, a master at work.
In a twinkle of an eye, or so it seemed, it was 11.30pm and yet only gone less than a quarter of the way. Clearly it was going to be a long night.
Having established a firm reputation at home as a mid-night lawyer, hardly expected to turn up at the home stead before the flying hours of active witches, I had no qualms at all about the passage of time.
But not my companion - he soon received a call from a badly worried wife, fairly newly married at that.
We re-assured Mrs. Adedeji, that was well and to expect her certified lover in the morning, safe and sound. The work continued. While we three barristers, Daddy 3, Adedeji and my humble self arranged our self round Daddy 3’s multi function dinning table, in the crafting out of legal missiles of all sizes, shapes and functions, D3’s secretary, an old war-horse in her own right, a veteran of many pre-court armaments, was settled behind her lap-top, feeding our words and thoughts expertly and coolly into the machine.
Just a few seconds later, it was 1.00 O’clock in the morning. Then somebody asked for a drink and Daddy3 response was to summon the staff of the Quarter-Master General office of the great house to duty. Before the next hour sped away, hot bowls of rice and meat (huge chunks) saturated stew, the type smart Eves employ in the delicate seduction of reluctant Adams, soon appeared before us. What wonderful repast to behold.
It was a sight to excite or ignite unusual creativity in the drafting of court processes. After taking a short break to do justice to the challenge placed before us, the work continued.
Suddenly when it was 3.30a.m in the morning of the 27th July when flying witches were already thinking or returning to base, Daddy 3 suddenly asked in a loud voice, 'Would you gentlemen care for a bottle of wine?' Since our answer carried a y-chromosome, Daddy 3 just strolled upstairs and produced some bottles of wonderful vines! It was just about then that I remember that the day was my birthday, the 45th.
The work continued, while the wine diminished. At about 4.15a.m, feeling the on set of tiredness, I made for the bath-room, an enclosure so neat and comfy that after a few seconds on the seat there, I drifted into slumber. Some twenty minutes later, the door knob turned and Daddy 3 in that his mellifluous and cultivated voice spake thus so gently “Oh here you were? We were wondering there where you could have been?”
It was a come-back-to-work summons. I promptly scrambled out and continued with the task at hand.
But I knew that I badly needed rest, yet here right in front of me was a 78 year-old baba still going on, apparently very strong!
I struggled on but when it was 5.30a.m, I told myself “Sina you can’t afford to die because of this case, even though it is your personal matter and all other people are your supporters. Boy, you just have to sleep.”
After discussing with my ‘Ori’ thus, I sought no counsel with any other person, not with even Daddy 3. I just stood up, marched towards the nearest sofa, and fell on it.
Within a minute, I was catapulted into slumber land. But not before noticing Daddy 3 going upstairs and coming down with a cover cloth, which he draped over me, surely with an unexpressed expression of “oh poor little boy.”
At that time, Taiwo knocked down a bottle of wine, making Daddy remark airily. “When sina wakes up, tell him we broke one for him” before getting down promptly to more work!
It was when I woke up at 6.35a.m that I saw too that the great man himself had succumbed to sleep. But it was not my own type of ‘full body’ rest. Daddy 3 slept like a Spartan-slightly reclined on a hard chair, with his chin in his left hand-obviously cogitating even in his sleep!
And it was not for long. He woke up at 7.45a.m, went upstairs to freshen up and twenty minutes was back to duty. That duty did not end till 11.50a.m!
By which time the old man was looking as if he had spent all night in his bed. Of course I must thank Mummy 3 too and my newly discovered sister - for their moral support and supply of refreshing provisions.
N.B Again I beg of you all, whenever you see my Daddy, always ask him this question - Chief when will you write your memoirs?

[My Daddy 2's blog is at: http://myakokaverandah.blogspot.com ]

'Time Is, But Time Will Be No More' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-10-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

HON.JUSTICE INUMIDUN AKANDE
THE HONOURABLE CHIEF JUDGE
LAGOS STATE

Dear Sir,

On September 8 2009, your lordship fully and officially occupied the captaincy of the Lagos State Judiciary. It was a colourful and happy occasion, when Mr. Eko Oni Baje, better known as Babatunde Raji Fashola, S.A.N, the 13th Governor of Lagos State completed the process of your appointment and elevation as the 13th Chief Judge of Lagos State by swearing you in to the great office.
Of course...

"Saturday?' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-09-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

My Dear Squib,
I must confess straight away that I am not too happy presently. Since the Governor signed into law the new Magistrates Court Law, I have been having this nagging head-ache.
Of course being a magistrate, the new law affects me. I can see that a lot of legal practitioners, especially the “Na-inside-court-room-I-go-die types are very happy and excitied about the law and have described it many superlatives-: “revolutionary”, “pace-setting”, “progressive: etc.
But as far as I can see, that law has its dark-sides, it is certainly not all roses and rubies.
Take for example that clause that stipulates that magistrates have to work on Saturdays. Lets face it, that is pure and full-blown calamity.
Judicial work on Saturdays?
Every reasonable person knows a week has only three phases.
The 1st is the Work-phase. This is where you find Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. These are the days and hours of sweat, grunts and labour. The period where the greatest human virtue is “INDUSTRY” and where the scriptures of “He who does not work, should not eat” applies without reservation.
The 3rd phase is the day of Worship and Rest. That day is called Sunday. Some ignorant people say Sunday is the day of the Sun. But that cannot be true- for the Sun shines everyday.
Sunday, I tell you is the day of worship, even for those who do not have a regular God, like Jehovah, Allah, Orunmila or Osanobua. There are irregular deities like “Nature Worship, Soul-searching (behind closed doors) Environmental Sanitation including nail paring, hair-cuts and dos etc.
You must have noticed that I skipped over the 2nd phase It is on account of its greatness. The only day in this phase is Saturday. This is the happiest, liveliest day of the week. It is the day that cancels out all the pressures and stresses of the-1st phase where all people are involved in the kirakita athletics of the rat-race.
Oh glorious Saturdays, how worthy you are. You are the hub of the week and the very pillar of the world. The Society rotates on your pivot, for it is on your day that we all circulate most freely amongst our-selves.
It is on Saturdays that, we neither work nor worship. And as for rest-only the dead and the caged do that on Saturdays.
Saturdays is the day we all un-wind and obey the maxim. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
Saturday is the day of celebration and circulation, of renewing the bonds of friendship and family by numerous social interactions. Saturday is the day of feasting, of wining, of dancing, of show-offing (clothes, shoes, titles etc)
Saturday in short, is the day of socials. And what is man, without socials?
Yet it is this very special day, the blest day, where man is truly in his elements, that the Governor of Lagos State and the Legislature of the State-have decreed that magistrates shall no part in its joy and “jollification”. Rather they have turned it to, for magistrates” an additional day of labour and pain.
Please Mr. Squib, do something for us in this matter. Although it is true that I hardly read your magazine and have dismissed it in many informal gatherings as a “useless paper”, it is only to you I can turn to in this dark hour for help and possible salvation.
I trust you are prescient enough to see this new magistracy law, especially the work-on-Saturday prescription as a conspiracy of the Executive and the Legislature in Lagos State against the third arm of government, the Judiciary.
Squib, please do something. Otherwise all my fine geles and other apparati of Owambe presence and essence will rot away un-used.
In fact the government is very insensitive indeed on this matter. How can any normal person be expected to discharge such a big responsibility like Adjudication competently on a day when his friends, relatives, neighbours etc are always out there, catching fun at weddings, coronations, graduation parties, funeral outings, house-warming parties, sporting events etc?
Editor, I rest my case. Please take it over from there.
Yours faithfully
Chief Magistrate Ogewunmi Igbaladun

'The New Deal In Town' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-09-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

There’s a new, big deal in town. But guess what, only few people appreciate or recognize the opportunity the deal offers to make quick, easy bucks. And legitimately too. Yet the deal has been on for about five weeks now with the full support and patronage of the Federal Government. Of course the promoter of the deal, the said Federal Government has been quite loquacious about the business. Everywhere it goes the F.G talks about the deal. It saddens me, however that in the main, most lawyers are quite apathetic about the whole thing.

Yet the Federal government is dead serious about this project and is prepared to expend billions of naira on it. In this enterprise, the Federal Government is very liberal and open. It is not shutting the door against any one and to partner profitably with the government, you don’t need to have any university degrees or specialist training of any kind.
You only need to give your self a particular name and sobriquet of the Robin Hood hue, present some hardware to the Federal Government and there and then, you collect your cool millions in the multiples, after signing a document saying that “old things have passed away.”

I never knew lawyers, of all people will let such a golden opportunity of making hay pass them, without seizing it with both hands and even legs “sef”
Instead of collaborating quickly and effectively too with the government on the matter, many lawyers are busy earning pea-nuts, moving one ‘toro-kobo’ motion or the other, sometimes before intellectually dumb and deaf judges or drawing up one miserly agreement or the other. I understand that in Lagos State now, some lawyers and magistrates are fighting tooth and nail to be appointed Judges instead of hooking up on the new deal presented by the government. How sad! The situation is like ignoring a box of gold to brawl over a sack of charcoal!

Depressing, quite depressing I tell you. The way I see it, lawyers need to get educated afresh, especially in money matters. Fortunately there are so many good books on this vital subject of money making and how to make it yafu-yafuly.
My consolation on this matter is the positive response of the leadership of the Tiger Bar (the NBA Ikeja Bar) to the Federal Government offer.
If you had noticed, you would have seen the Chairman of the Tiger Bar, the incumbent Elekun of Ekun land, Bibiowa Dave Ajetomobi Esq going about these days with a particular hat, popularly known as Niger Delta perched on his head. The said hat makes Dave Ajetomobi, an Ijesha man, diluted matrimonially by an Igbo lady, looks every inch a militant chieftain – the very class of people the Federal Government anxiously wants to do business with, by name Amnesty. I was further encouraged to hear Ajetomobi’s deputy, Dare Akande Esq, the Otun Elekun making solid plans with a local smith and hunter for a quick supply of about a hundred pieces of dame guns, a hundred pieces of Ashanti machetes and a hundred pieces of hand-held wood and rubber missile propeller (catapults).

I was privileged to also know that somewhere in Ondo State, specifically somewhere in the heart of Barrister Niyi Akinmola’s ancestral riverine hamlet, the Tiger Bar leadership has made out a freedom fighters’ camp, named “Camp David” in honour of the leader of the branch.
Since Camp David has been established and the Tiger Bar leadership is expecting delivery of the aforesaid impressive materiel, the only outstanding need to qualify now for business with the F.G is to have a corps of militia to inhabit Camp David for just a week or so before they disarm.

This difficulty is being looked into urgently and creatively. The Tiger Bar leaders, for your information have saddled the branch’s Welfare officer with the task of sourcing enough militants within the legal community within a week.

The said Welfare Officer who is well known to this writer has been appointed the General Recruitment Orientation Officer of Camp David (GROO). According to the GROO, when speaking to the Press, in his GECKOVILLE headquarters in the Katunga Wilderness, somewhere between Ogbomosho and Ilorin, he was in no doubt that he will succeed at his task. According to the GROO, the following set of legal practitioners would be given preference in the recruitment drive

(a) “Abe-Igi” lawyers
(b) Aluta lawyers
(c) New, disgruntled, unemployed and unemployable wigs
(d) Dismissed magistrates

Nonetheless any other interested gentlemen of the bar can apply. And you know in the profession, gentlemen, mean gentle men, and ahem, women! So come one, come all-oh yea emergency militants!

'The Partridge on the Ridge' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-08-27T03:08:00.000-07:00

Yoruba people have a proverb about partridges. It goes thus:-
Aparo kan o ga ju kan lo,
afi eyi o gori ebe.
(“No partridge is taller than any other except the one on top of a ridge”).
Of course, the proverb has nothing to do about partridges or their height. Like other African ethnicities, the Yoruba are only drawing metaphors and imageries from nature to drive home their points and teach crucial, social, moral lessons.
Well, for those of us who may not know much about partridges, except dstveed ones, the bird, I can tell you is a sprightly fellow with sweet hardy meat. When cooked in rich egusi soup and sent on a journey with morsels of pounded yam as companions, en-route the stomach, even an atheist may lapse into a doxology to exclaim “ha! The Lord is good!”
Though no trained orthinologists the Yoruba are right in saying that all partridges are pretty much the same, when on the plains. Full grown, they are about a third of the size of a local hen, brown feathered and quite alert.
The proverb is actually an admonition against succumbing to or imbibing the disease of the swollen-headed-: pride. A proud person clothes himself in swagger and floats on pomposity because he believes that he is better, much better, indeed fantastically superior to other people.
But what is the source of the pride? It could be physical attributes, social status or wealth.
These are all part of what the Yoruba call, the “ridge” which when perched upon, elevates the partridge. Of course, if the ridge is dismantled under the feet of the partridge or adverse conditions chase the partridge off the ridge-it becomes clear and immediately so, that there is nothing particularly spectacular about the once-upon-a-ridge-partridge.
In the legal profession, there are two types of advocates. Those who argue positions and those who decide positions. Of course I am talking about lawyers and judges. Of course a judge is a lawyer, perhaps, a re-branded one.
A lawyer may never become a judge, but a judge will always be a lawyer. When a lawyer is a judge, he, in his place of work, sits in the bar. The long and short of it is that both, judex and barrister, are lawyers. But you need to see (and hear) some judges in action.
The way the carry themselves, their very comportment and their use of language-in court clearly show that they believe that they are a part of the clan of Zeus on Mount Olympus-gods and goddesses.
These companions of Zeus-talk down on litigants and counsel alike. They are full of their own sense of self importance Rudeness is routine and haughtiness is their hat. They are self recognised fountains of knowledge and any counsel who does not share their perspectives is nothing but a “compound ass”. They preen and boast of their sagacity and their tongues are scimitars. What they call “being in firm control of my court” is actually nothing but counsel bullying and litigant flaying.
Unfortunately for everybody, judges like that, who regard lawyers appearing before them as asses, by their conduct, display to the public that, they are jack-asses.
How do you help such-Zeus companions? How? They are touchy, cantankerous and garrulous, perpetually striving to show that they are wiser than wisdom itself and sager than sagacity.
If it may help, somebody may want to remind-pompous judges of the following truisms:-
1. No one knows it all.
2. A different opinion is not necessarily a wrong opinion.
3. Everyman is entitled to his opinions, including fools.
4. Life is not black and white.
5. Nobody is infallible.
6. From the mouth of babes, wisdom may come out.
7. Nonsense may turn out to be Good sense, if it is given time to land properly.
8. We learn everyday.
9. It is a privilege to be a judge, not a right.
10. Aparo kan o ga ju kan lo, Afi eyi to gun ori ebe.

'Mere Formality?' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-08-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

ACT 1 SCENE 1 JUDICIAL SERVICE COMMISSION (A.K.A JSC) (looking so officious and earnest:
The bar can we please have your opinions about these people we want to appoint as judges? Here is the shortlist of them.

BAR: (feeling so important and elated while receiving the shortlist) “Oh sure, sure; with all pleasure.

ACT 1 SCENE 2
BAR: (still feeling very important and elated and handing over a fat envelope of documents to the JSCchairman)
“Your lordship, thank you for the opportunity you afforded us to assess candidates seeking appointment to the bench. We have carefully scrutinized them and their records and have put our findings and comments in writing. They are all in the envelope. We hope your commission will find it useful in their work.

JSC: Oh sure. We appreciate your efforts and can assure that not only shall we read everything here but also give your comments close attention.
Once again thank you.

ACT 1 SCENE 3
JSC: (all alone, the Bar having since left). The chairman opens the envelope and starts reading the comments of the bar. After two minutes, hisses and shouts: “Office Boy! Office Boy!”

OFFICE BOY: (Appearing very quickly) “Yes sir! Here am I sir!”

JSC: (handing over documents to the office boy) Please go and throw all these papers into the dustbin.

OFFICE BOY: Dustbin? Sir I thought the Bar just gave you these papers.

JSC: (standing up in anger and shouting) Shut up your mouth and do as you are told. Nonsense! What’s your business with it? Who needs your comment?

OFFICE BOY: As the court pleases!

"The Dele Oye Magic' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-08-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

I first heard the story I am about to tell you about twenty years ago. You too probably have heard it – but let me say it all the same. In case.

At a Lagos bus-stop, a pick-pocket had snatched a woman’s hand bag containing a few coins and the usual articles of facial peacockery of the front-loaded variant of humanity to wit lip-stick, powder, eye-liner etc.

It was a successful but perilous snatch. For the victim noticed and boldly raised an alarm. Trust Lagosians. A pursuit team was immediately raised by silent and urgent consensus among the bystanders and passers-by there. The thief was in trouble and he knew it. After sprinting a few yards, he threw the bag down. But his pursuers were not impressed by that, they simply continued with their mandate. Before long they caught up with Mr. “Hot Finger.”
In the midst of the cascades of slap, kicks and blows, Hot Finger was the perfect picture of penitence and remorse. Begging, pleading and remonstrating with those “nemesising” him.

Then at one point, one of the mob, procured a used car tyre and a roar of approval rose from the crowd. Everybody knew that neck-lacing, (the street jurisprudence of roasting by fire a lynch-victim to death) the ultimate street sentence in Lagos was about to take place. However to every-body’s surprise, the now badly battered thief stopped crying and begging for mercy. He managed to rise to his feet and looking death boldly in the face asked in a loud piercing voice:

“Ha, eberu Olorun o
Ki no mo gbe, kileju?
Sentori poosi 50k
Lefi gbe taya wa?

“You people should fear God
What did I steal that warrants roasting me to death?
Because of a fifty kobo purse you brought out a tyre? (to roast me?)

The thief’s questions were an unbeatable summary of all the teachings and precepts on Justice. Since the crowd had no answer to this question, it dispersed quietly, not unlike the Biblical mob that caught a woman in the very act of adultery. I remembered this story whilst ruminating over my own case – Chief Judge of Lagos State Vs Adesina Ogunlana. Every ardent squibber knows about my case before the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee and that I appeared before the committee on the 26th May 2009. A lot of things happened there that day but I want to talk only of what I call the “DELE OYE MAGIC”.
You see Mr. Dele Oye, a most amiable and successful barrister is the prosecutor in my case. Naturally he signed the complaint (charge) against me. That complaint is dated the 25th May 2009 and has three counts. But there is something curious about that first count. Before I go on, may I present you the count in question.

Complaint
1. That you Adesina Ogunlana as a legal practitioner in your capacity as Editor-In-Chief of a Magazine The Squib published in various editions of the magazine dated 18th September, 2001, 17th October; 2001; 21st June, 2004; 5th July, 2004, 21st March, 2005; 15th May, 2006; 24th May, 2006; 15th June, 2006; 6th October, 2006; 29th January, 2007 and 21st May, 2007; articles and/or write ups that contain defamatory words and innuendoes against Judges of the Lagos State Judiciary in the Squib Magazine, that by that publication, you attacked the dignity and reputation of Judges of Lagos State, thereby putting the Judges and the Court into public disrepute, public odium and by the above conduct, you are guilty of professional misconduct, all contrary to Rules 1, 30 31(i), 36 (b) & (e) and liable to punishment under Rules 55(1) under the Rules of Professional Conduct in the Legal Profession and Section 12 of the Legal Practitioners Act as amended.

Of course this is a most curious count. Remember that this complaint emerged after the Chief Bandele Aiku Disciplinary Committee of the NBA in May 2003 recommenced my trial before the Body of Benchers Disciplinary Committee.

The Aiku Committee made their recommendation after an “ex-parte” consideration and treatment of the petition of one Mrs. Justice Ibitola Adebisi Sotuminu, a former Chief Judge of Lagos State against me.
The Sotuminu petition was dated 2nd January 2003. Are you getting the picture, more clearly now? As night follows the day, then the Complaint filed by Prosecutor Dele Oye must follow the charge (another matter entirely) brought to his table, against me. The question you may help ask Prosecutor Dele Oye is simple and is this:- Did Sotuminu’s petition of 2 January 2003 refer in any way or pertain to, or connect with any allegedly defamatory articles I wrote in the Squib of 21st June 2004, 5th July 2004, 21st March 2005, 15th May 2006, 24th May 2006, 15th June 2006, 6th October 2006, 29th January 2007 and 21st May 2007.

Haba, you people should fear God! I must confess at this point even my delicate wife, Ibi, I mean Ibi the genuine article, upon sighting the count in question expressed her disappointment at why the accusation stopped at merely 2007. According to my lady, “they ought to include 2008, 2009 and in fact go right up to 2020, since you are sure to still be writing “defamatory articles” then.

What is Prosecutor Dele Oye trying to turn the Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee to? A kangaroo court, where all manners of shenanigans, hanky-panky jiggery-pokery, hocus-pocus and namby-pamby are tolerated, practiced and entertained? Is it not reasonable to wonder at this point whether this curious count is not a real indicator and a Freudian Ship that Prosecutor Dele Oye is part of a plot to see me off the legal profession at all cost and by all means foul?

For where and when did anybody write petitions against me for making the unknown and unstated defamatory publications was in the Squib in years 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007? Where and when also have I been called upon by the NBA to give a response to any such petitions? And where and when did the NBA recommend me for trial before Legal Practitioners Disciplinary Committee for trial in respect of the said articles?

If the answers to these questions are in the negative and they must be, then clearly count 1 is a special contrivance of Prosecutor Dele Oye.
Yet I am in no competition with this man. I am not in interested for example in becoming a silk and both of us are not salivating over any salacious lass or mustering over a common mammon.
So why this?

I guess I have not been lucky with men called Dele in this ease. The NBA official who forgot to append his signature to the NBA letter introducing Sotuminu’s petition to me is called Dele Adesina. He is a Yoruba man. Later he became a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. The elder who headed the NBA Disciplinary Committee who determined the Sotuminu petition against me without bothering too much to hear from me and inform me of their sitting etc is called BanDELE Aiku. He is a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. He is also a Yoruba. The gentleman who is prosecuting me before the LPDC is another Dele – Dele Oye. He is not yet a S.A.N but may God make him one and very soon too. He too is a Yoruba, or at least Yorubaish.

I have checked through the names of the adjudicators in this case and lo and behold, the mercy of God – there is no Dele among them.
Let no one’s heart fail, on my account in this case. I will win it and my enemies will be put to shame.
Where is the initiator of all this action, today? Where is the inheritor? And where will he be soon?
Do you ask me of my audacity? It is in God. When a man boasts in God and says every time in his magazine that-“The Heavens Will Not Fall”, be sure that Heaven will not fail him. No matter what.

By the way Ogostus is slowly fading away. If ever there is any open send-off for the worthy, you can be sure that I and all geckos will be there.
“Apa omode won o ka gi ose”
Please tell them.
“Won kere si number wa, ke”
Please tell them again!

'Why Impunity Grows' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-08-11T16:40:00.000-07:00

I may be wrong but I think Nigeria must one of the best places to commit any manner of crime. And it is not just because it may be relatively easy to give the law a dirty and open slap on the face or to escape detection.

I've come to my conclusion because of the actual very low chances of a criminal getting punished and adequately so, in the rather unlikely event of apprehension.

This is what I mean. The mere fact that a criminal is apprehended, even with unassailable proof of his culpability does not mean that the wrath of the law will fall on him. Rather any or a combination of the following possibilities will take place.

1. Victims of the crime and any other complainant will be put under intense emotional pressure not to press charges against the malefactor.

2. Where a report is made, the police or any other investigating body will wittingly or unwittingly bungle the investigation.

3. Where the police arraigns the criminal suspect before a court of law, the suspect will compromise either the prosecution witnesses or the trial judex or both.

This first possibility accounts for the large percentage of unprosecuted, unchastisised and ultimately, un-reformed miscreants.

When the first possibility is at play, all manners of people including the long-departed ancestors of the criminal suspect are procured to plead with the victim not to intimate the relevant agencies of the state of the illegality of the criminal suspect.

And, the ‘bigger’ the status of the offender, the heavier the pressure on the unfortunate victim(s).
Friends, relatives, work-mates, former school mates, neighbours, townmates, faith-mates of the malefactor, all will descend on the hapless victim(s), begging, pleading, exhorting, counseling, importuning and praying the victim(s) not to take action against the, malefactor. From this diverse tribes of pleaders you will hear statements such as:

“The devil pushed him to it, please forgive him. It is the devil!”
“I can tell you he has learnt his lessons, he will never again do such a thing”
“To err is human, but to forgive is divine”
“What do you want to gain by sending this man to prison?”
“If you report him (to the police) he is sure to go to jail. Consider what will happen to his pregnant wife five kids and aged parents?
“If you hand him over to the police, it will appear like vengeance. But vengeance is of the Lord. Let him go and let the Lord deal with him”
“I am not saying you should not hand him to the police. But don’t forget that you are a Christian and as such must be merciful”.
“Why do I say you should not report him? Don’t you know people will ascribe his destruction and downfall to you. You shouldn’t be responsible for that kind of a thing”
“Remember he is a Yoruba man like you. Igbos and Hausas always protect their own, so why must we destroy our own man?

For most victims, the pressure works and a potential jail bird, goes scot-free or at the worst gets off with a mere slap on the wrist. Of course, as we all know, in such situations, lightening will strike again. And again. And again with the society getting worse and worse.

'Tea Without Sugar' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-08-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

The other day, a gentleman who claimed he had just returned from a Big Game “Safari Trip” to East Africa could be heard regaling listeners with stories of his adventure in Tanzania, Uganda and Kenya. How the fellow liked to tell those stories.
But no longer. The stories and the excitement dried up the day one of his already-bored-to-death listeners asked him- “On your trip, did you see any lions? The traveller said ‘no’. Then came another question - What of elephants and rhinoceroses? Again the answer was a “No”. Then another question – But surely you saw the buffaloes and the other big cats like leopards, cheetahs?” Once more, the answer was a “No”.
What’s the use of a big game Safari trip when it’s only rats and birds you saw?” quipped the questioner.
I think a similar questioned can be asked the Electoral Committee of the Nigerian Bar Association, Lagos branch.
On Friday 5th June 2009, the Obi Okwusogu (SAN) led Committee rolled out some “masu-mato” guidelines for the July 2009 elections of the branch.
The Okwusoguan Decree reads thus:
ATTENTION

HUSTINGS IN THIS ELECTION SHALL BE IN THE BEST TRADITION OF THE BAR.
* There shall be no posting of candidates posters anywhere.
* There shall be no smear campaigns against any candidates.
* There shall be no publications either in the print or electronic media by any candidates either by themselves or on their behalf by any person or persons.
* Candidates shall not distribute gifts of any kind or money to procure votes and voters are barred for accepting same.
* Any breach of the foregoing and/or any other dishonourable acts by candidates and their supporters shall lead to disqualification.
In my respectful view, the only reasonable ‘decree’ of the lot is no 4, but then every political animal knows that, that decree will only be observed in the breach.
What do you make of decree no 1? Is that order banning use of posters or the pasting of posters? There are many other ways of using posters without pasting same? And what is the Committee going to do about pasting posters on line?
But by Jove, what is wrong with posters? I guess it is an elections the guys are participating in? How would the electors put a face to the candidates, when their identities are under wraps?
Ordinance 2 forbids smear campaigns. But I ask what is a smear campaign? If a fellow contestant is a proven and established rapscallion or an “unrepentable” till taker, is it wrong to let the electors know the unsavory facts(s)?
Ordinance 3 places a ban on publications about candidates in the press. To me this is to say the least, wonderful! Elections without the press? That is election without public enlightenment. That is tea without sugar. Marriage without sex!
Ordinance 5 is the most pathetic of the orders. According to the ordinance pasting of posters and press publications are all part of what are ‘dishonourable’ in an election of a lawyers’ association.
If you ask me, this is ridiculous and even mischievous. Add, plain unrealistic.
What type of elections is this, where it is a sin, to engage the offices of the press? Is it an election for the dumb and the blind?
Interestingly, the Electoral Committee says the guidelines are to ensure that the elections are conducted in the best traditions of the bar. But which traditions and which bar? Are we talking of the Nigerian Bar Association of the 21st century, where for the past ten years, the number of lawyers produced by the nation are more than all the lawyers produced in the first one hundred years of legal practice in Nigeria?
Or are we talking of the bar, where ancients like Bankole Oki S.A.N, Tunji Gomez S.A.N were but toddlers then and all the number of lawyers in Lagos would not have filled up a BRT Bus?
When you stage a deaf and dumb elections where as it were pigs are bought in the poke, it is reasonable to expect the emergence of a lame and blind leadership.
Elections without campaigns, is, I say again like tea without sugar. NBA Lagos branch, please wake up!

WILBERFORCE VS POLICE FORCE

2009-08-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

W.A.E Meigbope is a magistrate. Magistrate of Lagos State. On Tuesday 19th May 2009, this magistrate became another proof of the saying “anything can happen in Nigeria”. Any thing.
On the fateful day, according to a newspaper report, the personal dignity of Meigbope and of the institution (Lagos State Magistracy) which he represents were brutally rubbished. Courtesy of a gang of police-men who took leave of their senses, in the discharge of what they perceived their duty.
According to the report, the police were determined to re-arrest some accused-persons whom the magistrate-had just released, when the police withdrew charges against them before the court.
Immediately out of the courtroom, the police pounced on discharges. Some of these people now ran back to the court room for the protection of the magistrate.
This move would not deter the policemen. According to a very reliable eye-witness, they forcefully lay hands on the men, as well as some lawyers whom the men had clung to in desperation, as it were for protection. The laying of hands was not done in the manner of the Apostles of old, I should quickly add. It was done in the manner of belligerent storm-troopers-involving free use of fist blows, slaps, kicks and gun butts.
Of course the encounter, fully brutish and un-british-could not be conducted in the quietude of gentility but in the cacophonous swell of-violence. The noise of the ensuing bedlam soon got into the ears of the magistrate, who rose from the bench to see things for himself. Mistake No 1. And, to intervene. Mistake No 2. Mistakes that nearly cost him his life as the power-demented-police-men gave him some-rather unjudicious blows to his face and body, dragged him on the ground, tore his shirt and threatened to blow his judicial brains out.
When Meigbope came out of his court room to see things for himself, he left with his-dignity, honour and the glory of his office intact. When he returned or rather when he was returned to his chambers, a few minutes later, it was sans dignity, honour and glory. He was in worse a situation than a man hit by a cyclone!
Meigbope took the steps he took, apparently in a fit of judicial patriotism and activism. But he forgot the saying that “When guns boom, the law is silent”. The encounter between Meigbope and his assaulters cannot but be otherwise-Nigeria still being a (half)-jungle where might is still right
What will be the end of this matter? I can swear on the tomb of Joseph of Arimathea that, nothing, absolutely nothing will happen. I doubt whether the upper echelon of authority of the Lagos State Judiciary will do anything much about the-incident, apart from scratching the ground like backyard hens. After all Meigbope is just a mere Magistrate, not even a chief Magistrate.
If he were a Judge now, one could reasonably expect some more positive and dedicated-reaction from his employers. In Lagos State judiciary, it would appear that judges are the only ones who really count in terms of solid welfare interests. They are the salt of the earth.
Before you accuse me of talking or writing squibish-nonsense (as usual) please consider the following facts.
In 2002, some police-men beat a judiciary staff to a coma right in the premises-of the Ikeja High Court. The staff’s name is Alhaji Olowoyo. Nothing happened to his assaulters, who claimed they came to the court to arrest touts in the premises. Some four years later, another detachment of police stormed the open registry of the same Ikeja High Court. They were looking for alleged crooked clerks suspected of “eating government money” in the registry.
However in the performance of their duties, they ended up roughing up all and sundry found in the registry at the material time, including legal practitioners and their clerks who were there to file papers. The union of workers quickly mobilized to protest the invasion. However before long the organizers of the protest, found themselves out of jobs.
So in the light of the above, I dare say nothing will happen to Meigbope’s assaulters. But mark my words-one of these days a judge will not only be beaten up, but stripped naked right in premises of the-court.
By the way, the first name of Meigbope is Wilber-force, while is assaulters belong to the Police-force Now when force meets force, the weaker one bends.
You get my drift?

'Have You Heard?' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-05-30T04:26:00.000-07:00

The race is on
The race to the temple
The temple of justice

No, it’s not just any
Race to the temple
It’s a race to
Become masters,
Mistresses of the temple

They are running
They are sweating
They are groaning,
They are lobbying,
Struggling to
Become the Lords
Of the Manor

Lords of the
Manor?
Oh yes!
Milords, maladies
They’ll become.

Now they are
Humble,
Now they are
Gentle
Now they are
Friendly
Now they are
Smiling
Now they are
Nice
Now they are
Doves
Yes, for now!

But let them
Become
What they want to
Become
Then, you’ll
Appreciate better,
The wisdom of my
Fathers
Who said
“Ti won ba fe gba
Awin eba
Won a soju aanu,
Ti won ba yo tan
Won o doko olowo
Won”

'Why the Brouhaha?' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-05-28T04:05:00.000-07:00

Is that how we are made? I mean, are human beings monopolists by nature? Is it always true as the Yorubas say Alakara ko fe eke lo miran din (The confectioneer wants a mono market) if it is true, then is it right? But can one say it is wrong when one cardinal law of Jehovah (who certainly is not God of only the Jews), is?
“Thou shall have no other God besides me? A commandment which many modern women have very easily adapted to read - Thou shall have no other wives besides me. To this law many husbands of the modern age have concurred with a liberal cache of salted away lovers. A lover you know is not necessarily a wife. I was reflecting along the lines above because of a certain recent development in the Nigerian Bar Association - opposition to the official registration with the C.A.C of proposed bodies of lawyer groups other than the NBA.
I wonder why the NBA has been opposing the registration of these other bodies in the light of the fundamental right of freedom of association, so clearly enshrined in our Constitution. At the Minna NEC meeting in November 2008 and the Oshogbo NEC meeting in February 2009, there were huge out-cries against efforts of certain promoters to register the Association or is it Society of Senior Advocates of Nigeria.
The main grouse of opponents of the proposed group is the fear that it will ultimately undermine the NBA and cause it to become irrelevant. Harsh words such as “wicked” “greedy” “selfish” were epithets freely hung as ornaments on the supporters of the proposed silks’ group.
At the Sokoto NEC meeting just last week, the General Secretary of the Bar, Ibrahim Edward, sorry, Eddy Mark told the gathering that there are some other groups of lawyers seeking registration.
Though there were one or two “silky” voices in support of the registration of these groups, a large percentage of attendees railed against the registration. As for me, I buy the pro-registration arguments of “Sis Funke” (Mrs. Funke Adekoya S.A.N). What the always comely silk contended at the meeting on the issue can be summoned as follows:
(1) The constitutional and fundamental rights of freedom of Association permits and very legally so the existence of special interest groups in the legal profession on account of its size.
(2) The NBA cannot cater for the varied special interests of her numerous members, or at least meet them as effectively as special interest groups, which of course are much smaller entities, and with narrower focus, can do.
(3) The special interest groups can become allies and partners of the NBA to achieve common goals under the monolithic umbrella of the NBA.
I think those opposed to the registration and existence of special interest groups are flying in the face of uncompromising reality.
For those who do not know, there is a law which states that “the bigger an organisation, the higher its chances of splintering into smaller units. And the splintering cannot be stopped. As the children of Oduduwa would say “Agidi or an Oogun o ran.”
I hope I am not being irreverent now but maybe the only major religion that has not splintered is the African Traditional Religion - and that only because abinitio, the faith is already “splintered” into one thousand and one deities and oracles, in a cosmogony that may be termed a confederacy of gods and goddesses with a weak centre of one central Almighty or Super Deity.
I respectfully submit that since the objects and aspirations of the special interest groups must be by far narrower than the NBA’s and can at best only complement the NBA’s, and furthermore since these special interest groups simply cannot have the muscle and stature of the NBA, there is nothing to fear about them.
Now more important, fear or like them, can any one, in the fall of the constitution prevail against the existence of any associations with lawful objects. I have prepared a list of prospective special interest groups of lawyers seeking for registration with the Company Affairs Commission. They are as follows:-
(1) Association of Pot-Bellied Lawyers (APBL)
(2) Perennially Pregnant Women Bar (PPWB)
(3) Lawyers-Without-Chambers Bar(LWCB)
(4) Nursing mothers/Fathers Bar Forum (NMBF)
(5) Militant Groups Counsel Bar (MGCB)
(6) Lawyers-In-Politics Bar (LIPB)
(7) Congress of (Happily and Unhappily) Married Lawyers (CHML)
(8) Landlord-Lawyers Bar (LLB)
(9) ‘Isi-Ewu’ Consumers Bar (IECB)
(10) Bar Against Further Use of Wigs and Gowns in Courts (LABAFUWGC)
(11) Preacher-Lawyers Bar (PLB)
(12) EFCC/ICPC Practitioners Bar (EIPB)
(13) Handicapped Nigerian Lawyers Bar (HNLB)
(14) University Law Lecturers Bar of Nigeria (ULLBN)
(15) Premiership Soccer Fanatics Bar Society (PSFBS)
(16) Lawyers Married To Lawyers Bar (LAMALAB)
(17) Association of Lawyers-In-Kidnap-Rich states (ALAKIRIS)
(18) Foreign Universities Trained Nigerian Lawyers’ Bar. (FUTNLB)
(19) Association of Locally-Trained-But-Foreign Based Nigerian Lawyers (ALOFBNL).
From all indications, it does not appear that the NBA can do any better than any of the above mentioned special interest groups in their various areas of interest. So why the brouhaha?

'Settlement Blues' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-05-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

The story might not be true after all, but I have just finished reading it.
I have just finished reading a story about one Barrister Chima Ejekwolu, presently in the tangles of the law. According to the (newspaper) story, the counsel sent a mail to his client asking for some money to “settle” the EFCC which was treating a petition against alleged misappropriations of the funds of the clients of the lawyer.

The reaction of the client was not expected by the lawyer. What a ‘normal’ or do we say a ‘reasonable’ client would do in the face of such a request is (a) Accept and accede to the demand or (b) Refuse or and reject the demand or (c) accept the demand, but with modifications.

The normal client in category ‘A’ will be more than eager to supply the “settlement funds”. Such funds will actually get to the lawyer faster than his professional fees. As far as this client is concerned, Mr. lawyer is a “correct guy” a smart chap who knows his way about and can be relied upon to find solutions “sharp, sharp” to his problems. From my experience, at least 80% of clients will fall into this category.

Clients in category ‘B’, for any number of reasons, are not ‘settlement-compliant’. They quickly and openly express their disinterest in such “solution tactics” and only the most obdurate lawyer will like to press the point with them. Such ‘pure-heart’ clients cannot count for more than 2% of the community.

Clients in category ‘C’ are, of course, interested in settlement schemes. Like the people in category ‘A’, they believe and trust in the efficacy of ‘settlement’, the only problem is their rather lean-pocket. So they negotiate for a reduction in the quantum of the “sacrifice”. If they come to terms with counsel on this, the coast becomes clear. If negotiations fail however, well the scheme fails, becoming a case of the heart being willing but the pocket, unable!

About twenty percent of clients will fit into this category.
In the normal situation, the most difficult client, will only refuse to play along the settlement road and that would be all. Unfortunately in Ejekwolu’s case, the client was not normal. The gentleman not only refused to fund any settlement scheme but, went ahead to do the unthinkable-: reported the barrister to the very EFCC?

The rest, as they say, is history. Ejekwolu will soon be arraigned by the EFCC before a law court for allegedly trying to be a “correct guy”. I was not shocked at Ejekwolu client’s behaviour. The man is not from Nigeria or from West Africa or even from Africa. The man is a German. A German who obviously does not believe in the adage when in Rome, do as Romans do!

If indeed the allegation against Ejekwolu is true, you may not blame him too much. The route of “settlement” was the one tried by many of those senior wealthy and influential lawyers you see today in their various levels of “success” and “performance.”

'Partners?' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-05-16T03:37:00.000-07:00

Who is a partner? If you expect me to inquire the oracles of a dictionary for an answer, then you’ll be waiting for Godot.

Of course we all have a fair idea of who a partner is. A partner is one who is a part of a common enterprise with another. A partner is a contributor to the prosecution and achievement of particular goals. If the goal is conjugal you call him a spouse, when martial, you tag him comrade, when criminal you label him accomplice, when nationalistic, you dub him patriot, when romantic, you call him lover, when political or artistic or intellectual you deign him a collaborator, when sportish a mate. And so on, and so forth.
Many people especially lawyers like to imagine that the Bar, the general constituency of all legal practitioners and the Bench the occupational constituency of a tiny percentage of legal practitioners are not only partners but partners in progress.

But is this really true? Lawyers and Judges dress and talk alike. They share a common place of operation or theatre of action so to say – the court. Even more, they share in the use of a common professional currency – law. While one submits on it, the other interpretes it. The ultimate proof that lawyers and judges are birds of a feather, or beans of the same pod is the fact that they learnt their basic trade at the feet of the same sage – the Nigerian Law School.

When the Bar and the Bench meet officially, outside the court-room, it is common to hear sweet, sentiments of the alleged “indivisible bond” between the Bar and the Bench, and their mutual and symbiotic dependence on each other. Of course the deceit doesn’t end until the panjandrums of the Judiciary declare that “the Bar is the mother of the Bench” and, “no Bar, no Bench”. I call it deceit because, at least speaking from the background of my Lagos State experience. Since I started practicing in this State-City of Ologunkutere, Esugbayi-Eleko and Fashola and that’s not three days ago, the Bench has never treated, the bar at least in the most part and time as partners. Master-servant relationship is actually more like it.

Individually, the average or do I say, normal judge does not see himself any longer a lawyer. Worse, he sees himself as not only a superior being but in fact a much better human being than lawyers. Let’s face it, many judges forget they are indeed and in truth nothing more than “promoted lawyers”. As a group and in formal relationships with the Bar, the Lagos Judiciary has the custom, of considering and treating the Bar, at the best of times as a poor irksome cousin and at the worst and more common times, as a serf-subordinate, fit for slight consideration as a last resort.
Many judges live by different rules from lawyers. It is the judge who comes late, very late indeed sometimes to work and feels no qualms. If he eventually sits and still has the grace to make perfunctory excuses as to his lateness, he invariably expects to be applauded for doing what was only proper. Interestingly this sort of judges has no care or consideration when counsel come late to their courts. Even when counsel make profuse explanations and tender even the most pathetic apologies, the judges refuses to budge.
It is the very judge who without any notice to counsel fails to come to court, causing social and financial dislocation to counsel and their clients. Nobody asks the judge to pay any cost for his misdemeanor. But when a counsel is absent from court, then all hell is let loose, as the judge literally catches fire. Before long, dire threats are issued from the Bench “If by the next adjourned date-:…………

A judge finds it convenient to be rude, even out rightly abusive of counsel. Ha, after all he is judge. But can a lawyer do that?
If any body is still in any doubt about the contempt in which the Bench holds the Bar in Lagos State, he only needs to consider the age-long attitude of the Bench to the marking of the Annual Law Weeks of the Bars in Lagos State. Let me give the attitude of the Bench a name. It is this –“an attitude of deceptive non-reaction, quiet but potent sabotage.
When the bar holds her week, the bench in Lagos State no matter the level of invitation behaves largely dumb and deaf, giving the distinct impression that she is not aware of the celebration of the bar. So judges and magistrates fix dates regardless of the programmes of the bar. Out of about nearly two hundred judges and magistrates in the State, the bar cannot hope to get even a tenth of that number of judex to attend their programmes. Partners indeed!

Of course because the courts do not consider the bar in her week, such celebration often record low attendance of even the lawyers themselves as a good majority troop to the courts, to satisfy their clients and for their daily bread. At the Dinner of the Ikeja Bar last week, at the Sheraton Hotel, I saw two out of the three heads of the state government at the occasion. No prize for guessing right, the absent one-the Chief Judge of course! As if that was not enough, of all the 50 judges of the State High Court and God knows the numbers of the judges at the Federal High court Lagos State division, only one and one only turned up at the dinner. And this judge, well understandably was once a chairman of the Lagos Bar. Little wonder, then!

And they say we are partners!

'I Suspect Uwais' By Adesina Ogunlana

2009-05-16T03:35:00.000-07:00

Yes I suspect him, Uwais that is. I suspect Mohammed Lawal Uwais. By the way how many other Uwaises have we, apart from Uwais, formerly of the Supreme Court. Formerly the Chief Judge of Nigeria.
I suspect Uwais, because the good book says “By their fruits you shall know them”. And I am aware that an English adage exists which declares as follows:- show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. Indeed the Anglo-Saxon have another similar adage which proclaims- “Birds of a feather flock together”.
I suspect Uwais. He looks gentle and talks softly, but I am not fooled. Others may be. Yes he is from the North, where radicals, agitators are as common as palm wine in Buckingham palace.
Yes he stayed an incredible twenty seven years in the Supreme Court and for almost as many of these years remained anonymous as just another judicial cardinal, but am I fooled?
I suspect Uwais. Yes he does not eat fire and does not spilt fire. There is no thunder in his voice, neither does he emit smoke. Will you see him with the red little book? No. Could he have participated in the storming of the Bastilles? No?
I know he could never have been in places like the Ogoni’s Kaaima’s declaration or Emuke (M.K.O) Abiola’s epetedo declaration. Nonetheless I distrust him no less.
I suspect Uwais. Yes he is no man to be seen at Ralhes and you will sooner label an angel a militant or an insurgent them Uwais. But I tell you, you need to watch the man.
I suspect Uwais. People say he cannot get past stanza I of the universal Anthem of all “Aluta” cadres-“Solidarity Forever” before getting lost in the musical woods of ‘struggle’ yet I am not impressed.
I suspect Uwais. What’s manner of a dove do you see flying smugly in the company of hawks? Beware of such doves. What manner of lambs, do you see frolic endlessly with solves?
I suspect Uwais. And I have been taking notice of him, for some years now. He is particularly interested in the programmes and events of the most radical, progressive and dynamic branch of the NBA. And don’t mention Gani Fawehinmi, you can be sure Uwais will be there.
Last week, Wednesday, I was at the very important chambers of Abdul Ganiyu Fawehinmi. There were about a hundred other persons there. They all came for the birthday party of Gani and book presentation about the same icon. Gani himself was not there. I saw interesting characters like the disunited duo of Dr. Frederick Fasheun and the now chubby faced Gani Adams, both of the Oodua Peoples’ Congress, on the high table.
Chief among these tasty characters was M.L. Uwais. He was, indeed the chairman of the occasion looking very much at ease.
Still waters run deep indeed. Jesus, the Christ had his Joseph. Not Joseph, his mother’s husband. Joseph of Arimathea. It was this same Uwais who was giving an assignment to look into our electoral laws what gentle Uwais ended up with is a bomb that is giving his employers’ gamboling head-ache.
But it serve his employers right. A man must always pay for his follies. Why should any sensible establishment give such a delicate job of reformation of redesigning of conduct of the methodology of gaining political power to a strong ally of the No1 anti-establishment figure-Gani-Fawehinmi?
I suspect Uwais. He was in the Supreme Court when that court saved Gani from economic rain in his epic legal battle with military chiefs, Halilu Akilu and Tunde Togun? And was it not in the reign of Uwais as Chief Justice of Nigeria that Gani eventually became a Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Honestly, I suspect Uwais. I suspect that he is one of them. Them radicals. Them patriots.